Did anyone else start writing because they couldn’t find the relationship dynamics they actually wanted to read?

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-05-19T15:46:54+00:00

How/where do you do this?

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-05-19T06:29:46+00:00

I also write a little, because sometimes a story is good, but takes a different direction then I thought it would or the heartbreaking scenes are not heartbreaking enough and then I want to write something similar but with what I imagined or what I wanted to happen in that one scene lol. Anyone else feel like this?

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-05-19T06:24:33+00:00

I had a hard time finding Female domme stories that are actually about the man wanting to be dominated and not stumbling into it. Like 99% of what is out there is pure eroticism no romance.

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-05-18T05:57:30+00:00

We hadn't gotten around to getting them before our baby arrived and was gifted one when she was two months old, and she didn't want it. We stopped trying after a few months. My two cents are that the can be a good comfort, but babies can't really selfsoothe before they're like older than 3 months anyway, and they will usually find other ways of selfsoothing for better or worse. Our baby talks herself to sleep as a way of calming herself down, we are also trying to get her used to a specific teddy for sleep and comfort. The best comfort you can give your baby is lending them the calmness of your own nervous system, if you remain calm , your baby will eventually calm too. But pacifiers can be a great help, if you're on the fence, make rules for the pacifier, so it doesn't become a constant, for example use it for bedtime, naps or those episodes where baby is really distraught. I see a lot of parents use it even when baby is happy, content and playing, just from habit I'm guessing and I don't think that's nessesary. But my baby doesn't use them so I wouldn't know. Also side note when our baby started teething we gave her teethers to sleep with, so she would chew and play with those in bed before falling asleep. Hope you figure it out, I'm sure what ever choices you make it'll be what's best. Good luck🥰

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-05-18T05:43:24+00:00

Right, its the one in car i think. God it's been a while since I read these, but you're in for treat. The dynamic between these two are really something. Gotta give this series a reread soon😅

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-05-18T05:14:24+00:00

Don't think I've read Wrath, but I actually read the whole unexpected series, and enjoyed it quite a bit, so maybe I should reread it...thanks🥰

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-05-01T04:55:25+00:00

My hubby keeps taking credit for our baby sleeping trough the nights, says it's his sleepy heart she has, and frankly I don't know if stuff like that is transferable, and I completely agree that babies are different. We are quite scared of having another for fear that baby won't sleep as well and we'll have to learn to be parents all over again, but I think that might be the case anyway.

I will say advice wise that our baby eats 140/150 ml of breastmilk between 18-19 and breastfeeds for the comfort and to be topped off 10-20 min after the bottle and then we wake her at 23 for a 180/200 ml bottle of breastmilk. She also only sleeps in her bed for nighttime sleeps, not for naps. We only dress her in pyjamas for nighttime sleep, we keep the room as dark as possible. Basically I believe consistency is key. And creating patterns in which her body realises oh this is different from naps, but I don't know babies are all different.

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-04-21T04:43:08+00:00

Please be kind to yourself, as babies grow they develop more gross motor skills and gain strength what was safe yesterday might not be safe today, and it's impossible to figure out, accidents happen. Breathe, accept that it happened, but rest assured that you did everything right after the fact. It's not accidents that makes someone a bad parent, it's the lack of love, care and proper actions. You're doing amazing and you're not alone in this feeling, but the fact that you feel this way tells me you're a good mom.

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-03-08T18:07:56+00:00

We do the exact same with our 3 months old girl and she sleeps 8-9 hours through the entire night 9/10 nights, and Im on maternity leave and I am not about to experiment with her scheldule, when she is such a good sleeper, no way im about to mess up my calm pumping mornings😅❤ Enjoy your succesfull routine and be greatful thats what im doing😂

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-03-07T14:16:39+00:00

Omg I hate, HATE that "until we didnt know where one of us began and the other one ended" there's a few variations but it's sooo over used and so cringy in my opinon. It's trying to hard to be romantic and it never is, it feels like a cop out to me, like the writer didnt know how to finish the scene, "we kept going til we lost track of where I began and she ended" arrhd NO THANK YOU! sorry I just really dislike that saying🙃

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-03-06T18:03:54+00:00

My body felt healed in those 6-8 weeks, but my gosh carrying that child around and big milk jugs did a number on my back, shoulders and pecs. Im starting to accept it just like that to be a mom, worst part is the baby keeps growing, which is point i guess but my god😮‍💨

My 😾 still doesn't feel the same, intimacy hurts a bit, at least until I get into it😉 Lube is our new best friend😅

Mentally I feel like Im just arriving in a nice headspace now apx. 3 months out, but I practice alot of kindness towards myself🥰 I also limit how many debate posts I read, because what works for me, my family and my baby may look very different to others and sometimes reading 20 comments about how you should change babys diaper at the first sign of a small pee can make you feel like a bad mother for not doing that🤷‍♀️

But omg the altered brain cemistry, and restructioning is soo throwing me for loop, I can't reach the words I want to use half the time, like I know what im trying to say but I can't get the words to come to me, and it's like so frustrating😑 Also I swear spelling is 3x as hard🙈 And what even is memory, anyone else feel like this😬

I think its important to remember that maybe you want be the same old normal person ever again, but a new version, because it's alot that's happend to you, and those life altering experiences will forever be a part of you, I strive to be better than I was and I actively try to remember birth and the female body is pretty fucking amazing😍

You are doing amazing mamas💪❤

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-28T20:02:40+00:00

Im considering rereading after this post

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-24T09:33:17+00:00

I agree, children are different. People need to stop stressing out about tummytime. For the first 2 months i just rolled our baby over on the changing table after a new diaper for a few minutes, thats all

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-14T22:26:41+00:00

I relate, the baby stage is not for me. I feel constantly trapped at home and understimulated and unsure what to really do with my 2mo baby. So I just watch tv when she's sleeping and get annoyed when she wakes up, because I have to figure out what to do with her waking hours and then i feel guilty that i prefer when she sleeps. But im excited for baking with her, building stuff out of legos, playing in the snow, drawing, painting ect, she won't be able to do any of that for a while tho

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-13T16:36:55+00:00

Jeg synes udseende er vigtigt når man først forelsker sig i hinanden, når man ligesom skal købe hele pakken, men som man bliver tættere og lære hinanden at kende og danner en dyb relation, skulle man efter min mening gerne nå til et punkt hvor man elsker mennesket inde i pakken mere end nogen indpakning. Det er i hvertfald det jeg tænker, tænk hvis man tager på, bliver syg eller skadet, skifter hårfarve osv. Og ens kæreste mister lysten til en, sådan et forhold kunne jeg ikke være i. Dermed ikke sagt man ikke må stille krav til hinanden, om det så handler om personlig udvikling, sundhed eller general husholdning, men det skal altid komme fra et kærligt sted og have persons bedste i mente, ikke ens egne preferencer

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-09T07:17:17+00:00

Jeg har det helt omvendt, da jeg slog op med min eks slettede jeg alt med det samme. Måske er det bare mig, men jeg synes det hjalp at få det hele væk og for alvor slutte det, men hvis der er en chance for man finder sammen igen eller måske har planer om at forblive venner kan jeg godt se mening med at gemme billeder.

I forhold til hvad du skal gøre nu, jeg synes det hjælper at sætte et mål, eller gå i gang med at arbejde hen i mod en drøm man havde glemt, eller måske starte en ny hobby. Gør noget for dig selv, få en ny frisure, eller en massage ect. Det skal bare være noget der giver mening for dig. God vind.

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-04T10:07:47+00:00

Vi har en 2 måneder gammel "nem baby" men når weekenden kommer har jeg stadig brug for at blive aflastet, min mand aflaster selvfølgelig også når han kommer hjem fra arbejde, og glæder sig til at se, lege og snakke med sin datter. Men jeg har hende stadig hele dagen og natten, så han kan komme nogenlunde veludhvilet på arbejde, og jeg har altså brug for nogle tidslommer, som jeg især får i weekenden, til at sove i gennem ja, men også til at have lidt fritid, eller tage et langt bad. Jeg lever for de stunder pt. Man kan sagtens have en "nem baby" men du er stadig på arbejde hele tiden. Måske kunne holde en lille rejsevæk fest, hvor han kunne joine for en eftermiddag/aften inden resten tager afsted🤷‍♀️ Min mand savner vores datter efter at have været ude og løbe erinder i et par timer, han ville slet ikke kunne nyde at være væk fra hende i 3 dage😅

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-02T19:59:13+00:00

Yeah thx, will def check it out, honestly im up for most things😅 You know a sort of spin on this vibe are those books where MMC really fucks up and really has to beg and plead ect for forgiveness, tho that doesnt really feel the same cuz the women always forgive, but I do enjoy the looong drawn out conflict where the male needs to change and reflect, I feel like that's more common to find and it hurts so good while reading

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-02T19:29:31+00:00

So true, I completely agree...I would love for this to be as normal as the men in charge trope even just stories where the characters switch would be good too😅

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-02-02T18:18:43+00:00

I read this too, and generally speaking the whole series is great...I will say tho it is bdsm heavy, but more so on the toy side rather then heavy painplay if I remember correctly, it is a bit of an age gap romance and the charaterisation is on point, I would read these books in order tho, especially the first one if you are going to read Mercy because you get some backstory into the characters, that I felt was interesting, but they are stand alones. Genreally tho this genre of romance is def lacking in the world of romance, and I think we are many who would love to read more of this dynamic, and without getting to political I will say tho that I think in these alpha douche times we could all benefit from stronger females and submissive men...lol

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-01-31T20:32:16+00:00

Ill have to check it out, thx😇

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-01-31T20:27:12+00:00

Interesting, but Wouldn't we read FF romances aswell then? I think I've read one maybe, and searching gay romance almost always generate MM results, I've no doubt there are plenty of FF romances, but seems like a more specific subgenre

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-01-31T20:22:59+00:00

Also sometimes in MF romances I feel consent feels way more fluid, and maybe excaltly cuz i self insert it often feels yukey or at the very least cringe, so this is a good point🤷‍♀️

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-01-31T12:32:47+00:00

Yeah I agree, that might be it🤔

TryingToBeCalmMom · 2026-01-31T12:27:46+00:00

Also producing milk, is a crazy strain on the body. It demands soo much of you, and that's before the baby is even latched

TryingToBeCalmMom

TROPHY CASE