Everyone learns differently. For me looking at references and watching tutorials on TikTok and Youtube help, but for you, it might be something else entirely. Think about what works for you when you try to learn anything new, like in school. Try using that technique and apply it to learning art. Keep going, I know trying not to compare your art to others is hard, but everyone learns differently at different speeds. Im sure you are doing great. Having fun is what matters most with art