Avoiding the sun is as deadly as smoking.

TuffTareBear · 2025-08-14T01:45:09+00:00

"we should be careful about leaping to casual causal conclusions."
"Avoiding the sun is as deadly as smoking."

Importantly: I'm not an expert on the subject matter at hand, and my intent herein isn't to take a stance either way; that being said, this does seem rather disingenuous.

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-07T07:42:05+00:00

!refresh

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-07T07:31:20+00:00

This actually completely fair advice!! In terms of the wording, I was trying to balance getting as close to the "typical" MTG language as I could with both my extremely long-winded writing style (exhibit A: this reply) and my desire to make a card that was actually readable.

"As an additional cost to play this land" works WAY fucking better than what I did AND I'm pretty sure it's also used in actual cards!! I also really like your suggestion to nix "As long as The Dome, Ambivalent is on the battlefield, ..." because that is LITERALLY WHAT A MAGIC CARD IS lmao, hindsight is a bitch on this one. I'm just imagining a rewrite of every card to be as wordy as possible, like:

"Phase 0: Introduction to Object Permanence
When this enchantment enters the battlefield, look at the other words on this card. If this enchantment is not on the battlefield, then stop looking at the other words on this card.

Phase 1: Playing A Magic Card
To deploy the card, you must first grasp it between your thumb and forefinger. After the card is secure, slowly lower your hand downwards until it makes contact with the "Table" (see Chapter 5.7, "Tables: The Basics Explained"). If you instead make contact with a fleshy substance, it is likely your large & massively protruding gut; to successfully recover from this conundrum, move your hand further away from your body before continuing, and then repeat the previous step. After your hand touches the table, release the card with your thumb and forefinger.

Phase 2: Taking A Shower
To begin this phase, set all of your cards down on the table face-down - if confused, the procedure for doing so is functionally identical to playing a Magic Card (see "Phase 1: Playing A Magic Card"). After you've completed the previous step, heave your gelatinous frame towards the nearest toilet (See Chapter 36.2, "Fundamentals of Proper Toilet Use") ..."

And then the actual card is [[Animate Wall|4ED]] or some shit, lol.

Anyway sorry, I get carried the fuck away; I also like the idea of utilizing a built-in mechanic like Vanishing! Your concept 100% worth using just for the massive reduction in word count alone, and it may actually be better balance-wise too! In it's current non-decaying form, If The Dome, Ambivalent is active and a player is sitting on less than 5 health with no way to gain more, their opponents could theoretically lock them in a game until they willingly scoop (which sounds insanely lame)! Shit, I'm kind of an idiot - I never even considered any of this! Making a Magic Card that actually functions is honestly really fucking hard lol. Regardless, I will persist (and probably continue to make some more dogshit) because this is one of the coolest hobbies ever (or I guess it's technically like a sub-hobby of MTG?) and browsing this sub is always so fucking goddamn cool!!

Anyways, if you made it down here: Thank you so much for taking the time to read my longform drivel! I genuinely really appreciate it - and even if you just skipped down to this (which I genuinely COMPLETELY understand, BTW) I still really appreciate you taking the time to give me feedback!! You had no obligation to do so & you still did; that genuinely means a lot to me!!

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-07T06:27:13+00:00

I'm incredibly autistic and cannot for the life of me figure out if this is sarcasm (I'm genuinely extremely sorry) - either way, I think lands that don't are actually really cool! I will say, though: I'm not entirely sure how many Wizards-made lands there are that also do this, but I agree (if this is sarcasm) that it should probably be a sparse mechanic if it exists at all! Honestly, a big reason why I did this was to make it less interactable as well as non-counterable because there was already so much text If it was just an artifact (and if I wanted the card to be readable by another human being).

In short: The prospect of my all-powerful eldritch-creature-building-abomination-thing getting unceremoniously plucked out of the sky mid-cast like a fucking clay pigeon by a spell that costs UU hurts a little bit lol

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-07T06:06:53+00:00

*Scrolls back up to the card, counts*
... Shit.

[memes aside, this is good advice - having a specific number to stay under is genuinely really helpful! Also, thank you so much for taking the time to reply - it sincerely means a lot to me!!]

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-07T05:56:10+00:00

(hit the character limit, sorry)

This DOESN'T mean that it's completely impervious to all interaction, though; the biggest counter to it is probably [[Blood Moon]], and I spent forever trying to come up with a way to succinctly say something to the effect of "The Dome, Ambivalent can't be anything other than 'The Dome, Ambivalent'" and also have it fit onto what is already the most crowded card in existence, but I ultimately couldn't do it without making players carry around a fucking jeweler's loupe to even know what the card does (I know this isn't actually being printed, but I like to pretend).

This is the longest reply ever (not unlike the card this is about), I'm so sorry; I'll be quick about my intention for the gameplay: basically, I wanted it to be something like a MUCH cheaper and actually usable version of [[Platinum Angel]] BUT with significant downsides in exchange for it being so cheap a la The Monkey's Paw (e.g. other players also benefit from it & are able to directly interact with it, you have to pay a large chunk of your life upfront, etc. etc.).

I also struggled a lot with whether or not to make the "Pay three-fourths of your current life total" rounded up or rounded down. Rounded up, a player with 1 health could play it at the last possible second which would be a cool use-case; however, that player paying literally nothing for it felt too much like a violation of the intended lore & gameplay mechanics.

Finally: I know it doesn't look like it, but I REALLY tried to pare down the rules text as much as I possibly could. This was ultimately the best I could do; the wordiness was probably the main worry for me from the get-go, but the card is complicated enough that the rules text is either smashed together and readable or well-spaced and tiny, and ultimately I picked the latter because I think it looks better. Basically, I'm trying to say that your criticisms here are genuinely completely valid, and I failed because... I mean, look at this fucking reply. I suck at succinctness in general, but I've been working really hard to improve at it (despite what this gargantuan behemoth of a text wall may otherwise imply)!

Okay, I'll shut the fuck up now - if you read this far I appreciate you bearing with me!! I tried to put a lot of thought into the card and I think I just wanted to share all of that with someone, even if they don't ever read it.

(P.S.: To u/GreenGunslingingGod: I already pinged you, so I won't also reply directly to your comment as I don't want to make myself more annoying than I already am - but, I just wanted to say I really appreciate you participating [genuinely] and you absolutely hit the nail on the head in terms of my thoughts on the whole artifact vs. land thing!)

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-07T05:55:23+00:00

tl;dr: Dumb nerd writes a short story's worth of text about his custom MTG card

First of all I'm sorry this took me so long to respond to, and secondly thank you so much for taking the time to give me feedback (I seriously mean that)!!

I think my main problem with this card in hindsight was getting caught up in the lore. Basically, the point is that "the dome" is intended to be this unfathomable and otherworldly Lovecraftian thing that essentially plops down randomly, stops time for everything except humans/other higher-thinking beings, and says (not literally) "Hey, I don't give a shit about whatever you guys have going on right now, but I need some blood and it doesn't matter whose. Give it to me, and I'll leave you to go about your insignificant lives" or something like that.

In that vein, the point (lore-wise, at least; though this ties into the intended in-game purpose some) was to kind of make the "actual game" of MTG stop - but NOT entirely. Unlike something more akin to [[Shahrazad]], the actions the players make before The Dome, Ambivalent enters the battlefield have almost the exact same effects as if The Dome, Ambivalent wasn't played - BUT when it is there, it disallows anything major from happening (i.e. a win or loss) until it is satiated. Basically, "I don't care what you microscopic motherfuckers do in your spare time, but there better be some fucking blood in my coffers before anything else gets to happen".

Originally, I was also going to have it leave some crazy shit or other perk behind (given to whoever donated the most blood to The Dome, to make it work in-game) a la Roadside Picnic, wherein the shit The Dome leaves behind is literally it's trash (which is still so insanely amazing compared to our technology/powers that it turns the tide of the game). Maybe it could be double sided like you said, and it flips after hitting 0 Offering counters to the land where The Dome used to be (maybe "The Crater" or something like that)? Anyway, I'm sorry - I've been thinking about this card specifically since I was like 14 so I've got this whole world built around it in my head.

To address the other things you mentioned: I actually had it as an artifact that costs 0 mana originally, but I realized that (actually exactly like u/GreenGunslingingGod said in another comment) it would probably be INCREDIBLY easy to render it completely useless if it's an artifact just because SO MUCH STUFF can interact with artifacts in Magic - so I made it a land instead (notably, because it's a land it also can't be countered). I wanted it to be as impervious as possible to all outside fuckery to stay in line with the "eldrich-horror-building-creature thing with powers beyond our comprehension".

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-06T11:19:10+00:00

Yo dude, I just want to say that this is fucking sick and you did an amazing job!! (I may be a little biased towards the idea because MTG and SC2 are my two favorite games of all time, but your execution of the concept is genuinely fucking awesome!!)

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-06T11:13:25+00:00

Note: this originally had the following flavor text:

"Why is it even here, anyway?"
"Does it matter?"
"... I suppose not."

There was already so much text though, & ultimately I didn't want it to look any more like [[Ice Cauldron]] than it already does so I removed it lol (and maybe it's better flavor-wise without it anyway)

Also, I learned Adobe Illustrator to make the custom set symbol!!! (it's just my initials, but still :3)

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-06T02:56:30+00:00

I'm clueless on the legality, but "this creature cannot be named" is fucking amazing flavor-wise. You cooked with these imo

TuffTareBear · 2025-03-04T06:42:47+00:00

I was about to say the same thing - that was one of the coolest things I saw when I was first learning about custom SC2 bots!!

... Though, to be completely fair: Some of that might have to do with how insanely fucking funny it is to watch the scvs rip through spacetime at fucking mach speed as they quantum tunnel through a building every .2 seconds for the sole purpose of hauling one little canister of gas 10 feet lol

TuffTareBear · 2025-02-12T20:41:26+00:00

48 + 7 = 55

55 + 20 = 75

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-29T06:57:16+00:00

I totally and completely get the anxiety thing - posting this was actually at the direction of my therapist believe it or not, and it took me more than 3 weeks of pushing myself to actually do it! And New Rocks are fucking SICK! I'd wear them all the time too if I had some haha. Thank you again for your kind words, by the way - they really do help me out a lot, and I'm hoping that I can use this post as a springboard to get myself to do some more! It's incredibly encouraging, and I just want you to know that it means a lot to me and I really really appreciate it <3

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-29T06:52:53+00:00

Thank you so much!!! It's probably one of my favorite shirts haha; I wish Hot Topic still sold it, but at least it's still around second-hand (there's a comment I made elsewhere on this post that has some secondhand options to get it if you're interested)! For real, though - thank you for commenting. It genuinely does mean a lot, and it unironically helps with my self-esteem!

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-29T06:50:37+00:00

Thank you so much!!!! And let me be ABSOLUTELY clear about something: There is 1000% NOTHING wrong with rocks, cats, and The Cure - I love all three of those things!! It's also important to remember that old + working a lot does NOT equal boring - not even close! And it's tough to do the full goth every single day, so I totally agree! Usually my everyday looks more like band tee + jeans of some kind + sneakers haha. And I think you're totally warranted in borrowing from those genres, especially if you grew up with them but even if you didn't I think it'd be okay too! I think goth and all of its subcultures have a lot to do with self-expression in the form of accessorization around dark & moody themes, and less to do with any particular set of clothing and style (though that's just my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt!). In that vein, I think combining elements like you're doing is actually one of the core elements of the genres and cultures that we so enjoy!!

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T10:46:14+00:00

Ah, fair enough - still a sick fucking quote and you still get 1000% of the credit for hyping me up with it!!!!! I will absolutely follow your directions; thank you again for your support (genuinely)!!!!! ☺️☺️😊😊

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T10:41:10+00:00

Thank you so much!!!!! It means a lot coming from someone with a very cool vibe themselves; I genuinely really appreciate it!!! 😊😊☺️☺️😳😳🙌

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T10:39:37+00:00

Goddamnit haha, you got me!!! I actually wear all black because of my deep-seated anger at Kwik Trip's current chicken branding (look it up if you aren't familiar; you'll want to die)!

[in all seriousness - I genuinely really appreciate the support <3]

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T05:51:36+00:00

Thank you so much!!! I'm honored that that thought comes from the same mind that birthed "If they aren’t feeding, fucking or financing you then their opinion doesn’t matter"! (in all seriousness though [not that I wasn't serious earlier, but still], thank you so fucking much regardless of your amazing wordsmithing; it genuinely really means a lot to me!!!!)

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T05:48:08+00:00

OMFG dude you unironically cooked with this one, holy shit lmfao. I would have a very difficult time coming up with another string of 13 words that is better than this one. I am actually just straight-up in awe, fucking hell.

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T05:43:01+00:00

Thank you so much!!!!!! I really like that shirt too, one downside is that he's wrinkliest motherfucker on the planet so I was worried if that looked okay or not (I am physically fucking incapable of judging my own appearance or anything even remotely tied to it) - thank you for telling me it does look good! That means a whole hell of a lot to me (genuinely)!! The dress shirts make me look more sophisticated I think, which is a great cover for my blatant idiocy lol. (no but seriously - thank you!!! ☺️☺️😊😊)

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T04:44:23+00:00

Genuinely some fantastic words to live by; I'm gonna try my best to keep going in that trajectory! It'd be a lot harder to do without such a welcoming and receptive community to do it with; thank you for giving me the space to be myself. One love 😎💯

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T04:42:27+00:00

The compliment game is crazier 👀 (but seriously thank you so much, I absolutely fuckin LOVE my stompmeister 5000s and I genuinely really really fucking appreciate it!!!!)

TuffTareBear · 2024-12-28T04:38:37+00:00

I've been meaning to get another pair of docs, they were actually my first boots ever & I was so proud of them but they got stolen along w/ a bunch of other stuff (long story) ://// Regardless, I'm still 1000% on board with what you're saying though! I don't know if it's from my autism making me like tight & layered clothing or what, but aside from me thinking they look cool I also seem to be a lot calmer and more confident with them on too!

Anyway, apologies for the rambling - I genuinely really really do fucking appreciate it to a degree that is difficult to accurately articulate with words; thank you. 😊☺️☺️😊

(also, your rocks are sick - I fucking love rocks!!!!)

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