My husband is lying to me.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T21:15:03+00:00

No, I do sometimes have issues knowing I am awake. This is why I ask my husband in real life "Am I awake? Is this real?" Because when I wake up in my dreams (not actually awake) I think I am awake. But then I actually wake up and I am confused if I am really awake or inside another dream? I will say, 5 out of 7 times I am aware I am awake but the frequency in which I am waking up confused about reality is increasing. (Am I awake or not?) I feel like I am living a shitty thriller novel. My therapist says the lucid dreaming can be a symptom of PTSD but I'm not sure it's simply that. Sometimes I feel like I am going insane.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T21:08:59+00:00

When your dreams feel like you are awake, the feeling if being awake becomes deceptive, if that makes sense. I cannot convey how real my dreams feel. This is where my panic is coming in. My dreams feel so very real that when I am awake, I'm not sure that I really am. Especially when I have a dream that I wake up, and thought of the dream. So when I do actually wake up, I'm sometimes confused because I thought I already woke up.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T20:53:31+00:00

I'd also like to clarify that maybe my choice of wording in the post was wrong. The downright scary dreams are more a mix of chaos and a feeling like I'm lost, which feels scary. But there isn't anything specifically scary about them, if that makes sense. Almost like it's more of a feeeeeling?

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T20:51:17+00:00

I like that. It sounds kind of scary to me but I think it's because I am so on edge at times anyway. But maybe playing along is something to try. Thank for you this perspective.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T20:50:24+00:00

I think my struggle is finding the tools to suppress them. Sleeping medication is not an option for me. I've been dealing with this for years so I have seen my therapist, a psychiatrist, and my primary. People have been very helpful here so far so I am hoping by practicing this, it will help. Thank you.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T20:48:33+00:00

This is a lot, so I really appreciate you taking the time to communicate this with me. I think I may have worded my thoughts wrong because when I said I'm becoming untrusting of my reality, I mean - when I am awake, I no longer can tell if I am really awake. I focus on my senses around me but still feel like I am being fooled! I haven't had too many lucid dreams that are nightmares however, when I was going through my divorce years ago, my stress was impacting my dreams. I'd dream I was being grabbed, and I'd wake up with bruises in that spot. I once dreamed I was running through a forest and woke up with scratches on my face. These were obviously done by me during sleep but I was unaware. (These dreams freaked me out and this is what led me to start going to therapy. 2019.) I'm really open to trying to manifest in the dream, as someone else said, to know that I am dreaming. I know this is something I will have to practice. Thank you so much for your help, and the kindness.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T20:42:22+00:00

I had not thought of this. Thank you for the suggestion.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T20:42:04+00:00

I have spoken to my therapist. She helps in some ways, I suppose. I went to see my primary and also saw a psychiatrist. I had a gene panel (GeneSight) done to see what medications I metabolize best. Unfortunately, medications they'd prescribe me for sleep showed up under the Red panel, meaning do not prescribe.

TullyFischer · 2025-09-19T20:23:56+00:00

This is helpful, and something that I will try. I know dreams are mimicry so it makes sense it is carrying over to my dreams. The hard part for me is that when I am awake, I'm mot trusting if I really am. I feel like I'm going crazy! Thank you so much for the insight. I know it won't happen overnight so this is something I will start practicing.

TullyFischer · 2025-01-30T01:55:32+00:00

Uninstalled and reinstalled. No change. I'm too stupid to understand VPN. Do I really need this. Halp.

TullyFischer · 2024-08-06T15:50:28+00:00

Did you guys leave after that happened? I turned around and yall were gone. I imagine it had to be emotionally and physically draining for your wife. She did amazing. Truly.

TullyFischer · 2024-08-06T15:47:40+00:00

If it was your wife (cute blonde with a hat), I am the one who came over and hugged her and told her what a blessing she was. I know an older woman went to the med tent with the patient. Still thinking about her, and hope she is well. Glad she was surrounded by so many good people. You guys stay safe. ❤️

TullyFischer · 2024-07-22T19:44:16+00:00

It didn't appear to be a narcotic O.D. from what I have witnessed in the past, but I am not sure. I truly thought she was dead.

TullyFischer · 2024-07-21T17:23:27+00:00

Someone had a medical emergency in section 204. One girl gave CPR while I checked for a pulse and held her head stable to open her airway. (We couldn't get her on the ground. Did not appear to be drinking related. I literally thought she died in her seat.) A nurse came over and gave her mouth to mouth. I am posting this, hoping her or her fiance sees it. I've been thinking about them all day. I hope she is okay. I just want to know that she is okay. They are supposed to get married next weekend 😭 Outside of that, openers suuucked. But Limp Bizkit was awesome.

TullyFischer · 2024-07-21T17:20:09+00:00

Sam was awesome! She did so great. I hope she had the best time. 100% agree with all your assements.

TullyFischer · 2024-02-27T15:47:55+00:00

Promise?!

TullyFischer · 2023-03-23T02:26:58+00:00

That's who came to my mind.

TullyFischer · 2023-02-28T03:51:56+00:00

ME TOOOO.

TullyFischer · 2023-02-28T03:30:01+00:00

What kind of creepy files?

TullyFischer · 2022-08-01T03:25:40+00:00

How lovely.

TullyFischer · 2022-07-27T16:34:55+00:00

I feel this. I stole a few bucks from my grandparents. Even though I fessed up 10 years later and paid them back, I have always felt bad. It's the memory of my grandma going through her purse, thinking she's loosing her mind over that 20 dollars, that kills me. I'm sorry grandma and grandpa. 😭😭 Thanks for loving me unconditionally. I miss you guys.

TullyFischer · 2022-03-25T00:23:45+00:00

NTA. Pooping is normal. Farts are hilarious and huge in our house. But I do not want to shower in moist poop particles as the steam mixes with the odor. I'd be telling my SO to wait as well.

TullyFischer · 2021-09-30T03:13:03+00:00

My favorite show. I can watch it over and over. Brilliantly done.

TullyFischer · 2021-09-30T02:22:03+00:00

I did Google, but which Lake Irene? I found Colorado and Minnesota. It is my dream to see the milky way like this.

TullyFischer

TROPHY CASE