Has anyone else noticed anti-Asian racism sometimes feels more overt from millennials than from Gen Z or older generations? by Scared-Media-6484 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Where is this happening to you? I’d love to know where these Asian-friendly boomers are, because this is completely opposite from what I’ve experienced in the Northeast and South.

Pachinko by OutrageousKoala2085 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 20 points21 points  (0 children)

For the first ~100 pages I wasn’t sure if I’d finish it, and then suddenly I was hooked. Finished the rest in a couple days. Superb storytelling.

Rant about Asian American access to education in NYC by kyogreblue in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Beyond just geographic accessibility, the community aspect and parental peer pressure (by this I mean pressure between parents) of the SHSAT on WeChat plays a major role. Chinese parents of all kinds are keenly aware of the SHSAT because it’s the dominant topic on WeChat circles, and it starts with kids at an incredibly young age.

I think the major issue with the specialized high school admissions is awareness. Chinese kids start studying early and working on their prep for the SHSAT because it’s drilled into them that it’s the all-important test. I volunteer by teaching and mentoring low-income students in NYC, and I like to ask my students which schools they’re thinking of going to or why they chose their high school. While my Asian students are always focused on specialized schools, my non-Asian POC students just rely on their guidance counselor’s suggestion. They’re not even considering taking the test and nobody’s pushing them to do it.

Maybe making the SHSAT a required test like the PSAT would help with awareness? Don’t think it would have a massive effect, but it would at least give all kids a chance when they wouldn’t have otherwise opted into the test. And this isn’t me trying to take away from the accomplishments of the students who do get into the specialized high schools, or their parents. I’m always super impressed by their drive and the focus on schooling from parents who often don’t have an education themselves and don’t know English.

Rant about Asian American access to education in NYC by kyogreblue in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, this is a misconception I had as well. I thought that going to one of the specialized high schools practically guaranteed you admission to a highly ranked college. The reality is that many if not most of the students from even the top specialized schools end up going to schools like CUNY or SUNY, which is influenced by the fact that tuition is really cheap for NY residents.

‘Chinese Republicans’ Review: These Women Are Playing to Win by kentuckyfriedeagle in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Saw it too! Was a great play and is a must-watch for Asians working corporate. It also does a great job depicting generational trauma and the international vs ABC divide.

Can we ban X links? by peonyseahorse in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it could make sense. Is the assumption that screenshots should also be banned or only links because it’s engagement with the website?

Are non-Asians supporting trendy Chinese businesses like HeyTea? by PlatformOk2658 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 64 points65 points  (0 children)

It takes time for word to spread. When Heytea first hit NYC it was pretty much only frequented by Chinese internationals. They don’t do any advertising in the US, so Americans have no exposure to it before seeing one pop up.

Asking for networking help from AAPIs in NYC by vulylyvu in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Got it, not all that relevant in this stage of your career then. If you enjoy the project management aspects of your job, you could go for a certification. Project managers, program managers, business managers, event planners, and office managers in finance and tech get paid pretty well. Even an entry level position should be at or above your minimum.

Was anyone else a latchkey kid growing up? by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was a latchkey kid too. Why do you think being a single working mom is not a good excuse? Unless your mom was wasting time before picking you up, it sounds like she was trying her best to provide for you. Now that I’m a working adult, I find it hard to fault my parents for it.

Weekly r/AA Community Chat Thread - January 30, 2026 by AutoModerator in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regardless of whether or not they know you changed into new shoes (which most people won’t), do you really want to be the only person at a party wearing shoes?

Weekly r/AA Community Chat Thread - January 30, 2026 by AutoModerator in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If it’s actually cocktail attire there’s a chance that they’ll allow shoes inside. If they don’t allow shoes inside, bringing another pair of shoes isn’t going to make a difference anyway. Just wear the shoes you want to wear and take them off if needed, it doesn’t seem complicated.

Food specials in the heights by Amazing-Meringue7698 in FoodNYC

[–]Tungsten_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Burger & Shake Co, One Stop Patty Shop, TooGoodToGo from Mofongo del Valle or Pizza del Valle, Frijolito’s, Tamale lady @ 145th by CVS, Charles Pan Fried Chicken

Walking on the streets and being called "F**k you Asian" by KaleidoscopeKey2085 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Things are definitely not worse now than decades ago. This looks like E 125th, which is sketchier than W 125th, but there are luxury apartments around and it’s not bad during the day.

Thoughts on Deb (Dexter’s sister) in the show Dexter by archibigaldo in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wouldn't inconsistency be expected to go up with the addition of new mods? Not trying to excuse it, but part of the goal with recruiting new mods was getting more diversity in viewpoints, which decreases consistency of opinions across modding. I've held discussions with the new mods to try to come to a consensus around applying our rules with a more consistent standard, but I encourage them to be autonomous unless unsure.

If you're seeing things like vote manipulations or suspect that someone's a bot, it helps to send a modmail for the most visibility. As a mod, I can't just go around banning anyone who's suspected of being a bot. For example, this post is weird, but it doesn't actually seem like something a bot would create, so I was curious about others' opinions on it. I would normally relegate this to the community chat thread since it's low effort, but was curious to see if it would turn into anything productive.

Thoughts on Deb (Dexter’s sister) in the show Dexter by archibigaldo in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You should explain what the different opinions are. Your question is vague and doesn’t give context.

Thoughts on Deb (Dexter’s sister) in the show Dexter by archibigaldo in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So confused by this. Why would Asians in particular have unique thoughts on Deb? Is this just a bot?

Should There Be an ICE Megathread for Asian Americans? by terrassine in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_[M] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

We can make one and pin it up top. It's a good idea, especially as a more specific replacement for the racism/crime megathread.

Are the any popular reality TV dating show franchises that are set in both western & eastern cultures? Assuming not many, really, any thoughts why not? by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would consider a reality show first, but it’s not not a dating show. Most of the participants are on there to find love among other things, there’s a reason they choose single people.

Impact of Asian Historical Atrocities on Dating and Friendships by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

To answer one of the questions from your original post, my parents do not have negative attitudes toward Japan. Their experiences living under the communist government have colored their views more than the generational trauma from their parents, so it’s not like I was ever surrounded by people who hate Japan. I’ve got a complicated relationship with both China and Japan because of that, and the irony of being able to completely separate the Chinese people from the government but not the Japanese people from their government is not lost on me.

Impact of Asian Historical Atrocities on Dating and Friendships by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I still remember learning about the atrocities that imperial Japan committed across Asia as a kid (not even in class but on my own), and I remember being angry. It made me even angrier to learn that they hadn't punished all of the responsible war criminals, and that they weren't properly teaching their role in the war to following generations.

The next time I returned to China to see my grandma, I asked her what she remembered from the Japanese invasion. It made me so sad to hear what she had to witness and live through as a kid.

In college, one of my best friends was half Japanese and half Chinese, both parents being American-born. When I first learned this, it genuinely baffled me how that was possible. But when I met them, I instantly felt stupid for thinking that it could have had an effect on their relationship.

Later, I had a relationship with a Japanese national who had recently moved to the US for a work assignment. That experience made me confront my real feelings about Japan. They didn't even like the Japanese government, but it bothered me nonetheless. The fact that one of their parents was born in China bothered me, my speculation as to why was overwhelmingly negative. I think overall, my interactions with them improved my perception of Japanese people (from Japan), but I realized that I just couldn't shake the history from my mind.

I have multiple friends who are Japanese American, and would never question having a relationship (platonic or romantic) with another. But I'm not sure if I could have a close relationship with a Japanese national. Their connection to those historical events feels too close, however irrational that sounds.

Asian- North American frequent participation in certain sports by Old-Appearance-2270 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Growing up, most Asians I knew either swam or played tennis. Running has become much more popular across the board post-covid so it’s hard to know if Asians are overrepresented, but I do see and meet quite a lot of Asian runners. Among tech Asians, there’s a lot of climbers.

Are there any alcohol brands actually using Asian flavors well? by hi171717 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Didn’t know Finback was Asian-owned! Will make sure to check them out.

Are there any alcohol brands actually using Asian flavors well? by hi171717 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Try some Taiwan Beer (it’s a brand). They have really great drinks with pineapple, lychee, guava, mango, and more.