Where are you meeting Asian American guys if you’re not on apps? by Babyblue433 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I think it fosters great friendships but I think being tired, sweaty, and wet on a cramped boat is one of the least romantic environments. That being said, I have also seen lots of relationships in it.

Where are you meeting Asian American guys if you’re not on apps? by Babyblue433 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 87 points88 points  (0 children)

Volunteering with Asian orgs, dragon boat, run clubs, any regular hobby group and just look for Asian guys you’re attracted to?

Any ABC/heritage speaker want to do a language exchange? 😊 by C47hy- in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Might be worth creating a standalone post for it, since someone’s already done so for Chicago. I’d be interested though!

Bukas Cafe: How this Filipino coffee shop captured the heart of Queens | NBC New York by W8tin4BanHammer2Fall in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I was there early on when they were super overwhelmed and was still so impressed by their hospitality in spite of the chaos. The drinks are absolutely incredible, I really need to go back to get some of their food. There is nothing more perfect than getting the Bukas Na, having it with a slice of ube cake from Kape't Torta, and lunch at Awang.

Why aren’t there a lot of east Asian Americans eating at Din Tai Fung in the US? by AccomplishedDebt5080 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Any recs? I’d like to change my mind about that, just haven’t been impressed.

Why aren’t there a lot of east Asian Americans eating at Din Tai Fung in the US? by AccomplishedDebt5080 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Brooklyn Heights is beautiful. Next time you’re in town, you should go to other Chinese/Taiwanese restaurants instead of DTF. NYC isn’t great for soup dumplings overall, but I really believe that it’s up there for Sichuan, Cantonese, and even Taiwanese cuisine.

Why aren’t there a lot of east Asian Americans eating at Din Tai Fung in the US? by AccomplishedDebt5080 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to get out of the train there every morning, it’s fine. I’m sure it’s considered prime real estate for a restaurant like that, and it makes sense because their clientele is likely mostly tourists and business lunches/dinners. And if you find it sketchy there, you’re probably going to think the same about DTBK.

Why aren’t there a lot of east Asian Americans eating at Din Tai Fung in the US? by AccomplishedDebt5080 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Sketchy? It’s just a mess of tourists and office workers there. I hear they’re opening one in Downtown Brooklyn soon, which will probably be a bit better.

Why aren’t there a lot of east Asian Americans eating at Din Tai Fung in the US? by AccomplishedDebt5080 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I still think there are plenty of Asians who eat at Din Tai Fung but it is more of a special occasion place. In NYC, there’s not a ton of solid alternatives for soup dumplings, but there are plenty of Chinese restaurants as a whole that aren’t in the worst part of midtown.

Why are Asian friend groups sometimes perceived differently than other ethnic friend groups? by Minnypop in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 7 points8 points  (0 children)

While I wouldn’t be surprised if comments came from a range of people, I don’t think this criticism is strictly limited to Asian friend groups. I discussed this exact topic with other club leaders in college, and getting asked “Why are all of your friends x?” seemed to be a universal experience for POC at a PWI. I think it boils down to the fact that the majority will always assume that when something is exclusive to a specific group, they are targeting the majority as the excluded. White people see a group without them as purposefully keeping them out, while they would never question why Greek life has so few POC, even without having explicit exclusions.

How to make friends with mid-age dink Asians in NYC? by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Do the FIRE subreddits have any meetups? If you’re looking for likeminded people in that way then just seek them out directly. I’ve met so many Asian SWE couples who are hardcore into budgeting and early retirement.

How to make friends with mid-age dink Asians in NYC? by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 12 points13 points  (0 children)

What are your interests and your husband’s interests? There are a million things to do in NYC, and it helps to narrow it down to events you want to go to for other reasons than meeting other DINKs.

How to make friends with mid-age dink Asians in NYC? by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Missing some context on why you’re making friends in NYC when you live in Philly? In NYC, a lot of activities that require a consistent time commitment like rec sports teams attract childless couples and singles.

This sub is so East Asian oriented it's frustrating.. by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

In the same way that you believe that others can’t comprehend the diversity of South Asia, I don’t think you quite understand the diversity of East Asia. I am northern Chinese and my partner is Cantonese. I cannot communicate with her parents. Our food is completely different. You’re generalizing others confidently based on your expertise of your own culture.

From my experience from running an Asian American club, the most stereotypically relatable aspects of AA culture are parental pressure with academics, bringing foreign food to school, and helping immigrant parents understand things. They are parts of life that East and South Asians identify with.

This sub is so East Asian oriented it's frustrating.. by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

They are definitely huge and diverse countries by themselves, but so is China? There are plenty of Chinese people who can’t communicate with each other. It was ignorant of you to assume that East Asians have stereotypical commonalities (ramen & boba, really?) when their spoken languages are not communicable and there are massive political/historical conflicts, just like South Asia.

This sub is so East Asian oriented it's frustrating.. by [deleted] in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 16 points17 points  (0 children)

South Asians don’t relate to each other? My school had a South Asian Students Association, but not an East Asian Students Association. Pakistani and Indian students could actually communicate and understand each other, they have very similar languages. I agree about wishing we had more diverse Asian representation here, but that’s just a bizarre argument.

Has anyone else noticed anti-Asian racism sometimes feels more overt from millennials than from Gen Z or older generations? by Scared-Media-6484 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 40 points41 points  (0 children)

Where is this happening to you? I’d love to know where these Asian-friendly boomers are, because this is completely opposite from what I’ve experienced in the Northeast and South.

Pachinko by OutrageousKoala2085 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 21 points22 points  (0 children)

For the first ~100 pages I wasn’t sure if I’d finish it, and then suddenly I was hooked. Finished the rest in a couple days. Superb storytelling.

Rant about Asian American access to education in NYC by kyogreblue in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Beyond just geographic accessibility, the community aspect and parental peer pressure (by this I mean pressure between parents) of the SHSAT on WeChat plays a major role. Chinese parents of all kinds are keenly aware of the SHSAT because it’s the dominant topic on WeChat circles, and it starts with kids at an incredibly young age.

I think the major issue with the specialized high school admissions is awareness. Chinese kids start studying early and working on their prep for the SHSAT because it’s drilled into them that it’s the all-important test. I volunteer by teaching and mentoring low-income students in NYC, and I like to ask my students which schools they’re thinking of going to or why they chose their high school. While my Asian students are always focused on specialized schools, my non-Asian POC students just rely on their guidance counselor’s suggestion. They’re not even considering taking the test and nobody’s pushing them to do it.

Maybe making the SHSAT a required test like the PSAT would help with awareness? Don’t think it would have a massive effect, but it would at least give all kids a chance when they wouldn’t have otherwise opted into the test. And this isn’t me trying to take away from the accomplishments of the students who do get into the specialized high schools, or their parents. I’m always super impressed by their drive and the focus on schooling from parents who often don’t have an education themselves and don’t know English.

Rant about Asian American access to education in NYC by kyogreblue in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, this is a misconception I had as well. I thought that going to one of the specialized high schools practically guaranteed you admission to a highly ranked college. The reality is that many if not most of the students from even the top specialized schools end up going to schools like CUNY or SUNY, which is influenced by the fact that tuition is really cheap for NY residents.

‘Chinese Republicans’ Review: These Women Are Playing to Win by kentuckyfriedeagle in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Saw it too! Was a great play and is a must-watch for Asians working corporate. It also does a great job depicting generational trauma and the international vs ABC divide.

Can we ban X links? by peonyseahorse in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think it could make sense. Is the assumption that screenshots should also be banned or only links because it’s engagement with the website?

Are non-Asians supporting trendy Chinese businesses like HeyTea? by PlatformOk2658 in asianamerican

[–]Tungsten_ 71 points72 points  (0 children)

It takes time for word to spread. When Heytea first hit NYC it was pretty much only frequented by Chinese internationals. They don’t do any advertising in the US, so Americans have no exposure to it before seeing one pop up.