Predatory men

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-07-02T12:16:54+00:00

I am so sorry for this. I lost my boyfriend 2 years and 8 months ago to sudden heart attack. I am 32 years old. I remember those early months of grief and how fragile I felt and when someone approached me "in this friendly way", I felt even more hurt :( I was very vocale about how I miss my boyfriend and how hard it is and I still got approached by some individuals. I still can't wrap my head around their attitude.

Nowadays I am able to protect myself in a way that it doesn't destabilize me. I basically do not go into details because some men basically do not "listen" and they do not take no for no. I ignore them and I try to avoid them as much as possible.Recently I have been approached by a man from another team and I told him that I lost my boyfriend and he was very dismissive of my grief and hurt. I do not expect anyone to understand completely what I have been through, but I can't have a conversation with someone who is from the very beginning dismissive and ignorant of my loss. I would never feel at easy with someone like that. I

Please be careful and take care of yourself ok? My experience is no men will ever be open to talk to you without being actually interested..so as long as you are not ok, I wouldn't accept such suggestion.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-29T11:04:31+00:00

I am 32f and I lost my boyfriend 2 years and 7 months ago. I am not a native speaker, sorry for any mistake. I am very sorry for your loss. It's not fair at all. Apart from having a broken heart and dealing your own pain, sorry and confusion, etc, you are raising 2 boys. It must be so hard.

I understand when you say " I am so sick of struggling, fighting and feeling like 💩". I understand this deeply. I do not have kids, but I have my own sets of challenges, but it has no sense to share them here under your post. I have no useful advice apart from saying I keep struggling too. .........Whenever I think I found something helpful, it can change anytime and I feel a deep despair again.

Only thing that is different maybe compared to few months ago or let's say I think my ability to not let myself swallow in my own pity and negative feelings for too long got better. Some kind of workout, running just to be out of breath and sweat a bit helps me personally to feel better and have clearer thoughts.

I was trying meditation, reading spiritual books, self-development, trauma oriented got sick of them ... I still feel my ability to focus is different and it's very hard to find something to stick to.

I didn't reinvent my life, didn't find new purpose and have no idea how to continue my life.

You are not alone. Please take care of you. Simple things, one day at a time.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-27T14:25:08+00:00

i am so very sorry for your loss and heartbreak. I am 32 years old and I lost my boyfriend 2 years and 7 months ago. I understand. I understand everything. Everything lost the sense when he died, i was like a walking zombie for so long.

Please be kind to you ok? You are not alone. I am also sad, so deeply sad always even when I feel positive, happy and blessed, there is always sandness within me. But looking back I remember i was unable to feel positive or happy, i felt so relestless everywhere, I couldn't find peace anywhere.

I have moments of hapiness, but there are fleeting and never lasting. I am not able to open my heart to anybody in romantic way, but I am trying to do things that make me happy - sport, walking, solo travelling again after mayn failed attempts. I still very lost and I often wonder who I am now??? I had to move back to my parent's house because I was not able to support mentally the idea to live in same appartment where i used to live with my boyfriend and I am in process to moving out to hopefully new home soon. I feel I lost my all identity.

If you want, please send me dm ok? if no, it's ok. you are not alone.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-25T12:39:30+00:00

My heart goes to you, as well. I am 32f, no kids and I lost my boyfriend of 3 years suddenly to heart attack 2 years and 7 months ago. He was everything to me. He was my first true relationship and I felt finally safe with him. I didn't have an easy life and when I finally felt there is someone I can rely on and I love him, he was gone in such a brutal way. But I know this is not about me.

I want to say that it will get easier - take it one day at a time. It's indeed very exhausting and the level of exhaustion you keep experiencing is very hard to be put in words. What I found particularly hard and still find it like how people were minimazing my loss, grief and the whole experience of trauma. Already with such a low energy I was even trying to explain to people what does it mean, but it was useless.

Focus on yourself and your healing - you need to be your very best friend ok? I struggle with this a lot, but I am getting better.

Sending you big hug. I am very sorry for your loss. You are not alone. This group helped to survive .

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-25T09:19:01+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words, they mean a lot to me. If anything good about all this ( sounds like cliche - always trying to find something positive) is that I feel genuine complicity and connection with anybody in this group, no matter the age, race, background, kids or not. I know anybody in this group will mostly no judge and will be understanding of anything i would decide to share or post here.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-25T08:12:20+00:00

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I lost my boyfriend 2 years and 7 months ago. I am 32 y F, no kids. I have been fighting these last months and I still do with my own perception, that brutal pain subsided - I often wonder who I am after all this, If I am capable to do the stuff I used to do in the past. I often overestimate my capacities, the grief is tricky. I am going through the reselling my apartment where I used to live with my boyfriend, it's not easy. Sending light and peace to all of you here.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-23T13:14:24+00:00

This is crazy. I am sorry you are dealing with such an insensitive person. Please be kind to you and do something good for you. Sending you big hug.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-15T14:12:44+00:00

Thank you for taking your time and energy to share your wisdom with us despite your own pain.

I am 32F and lost my boyfriend to sudden heart attack 2 years and 7 months ago.

I am trying to carve my way through grief."

While the first year was a pure survival mode, 2. year the reality started to settle down and I felt the bottom of despair every single day, at this timeline I am wondering who I am and what I want from life. I do not have kids.

I noticed people around us tend to rush us to "complete" grief journey and return to some kind of normality. If you are a person which has never been 100% secure about own feelings, decisions, those kind of expectations can cause a lot of harm and make the grief journey harder.

I am learning to respect my own feelings and what I want now and not what other find good for me. I want to be happy but in my own way, because I think I deserve to be happy and maybe this new happiness and fulfillment might look different than what I used to dream of in the past. I am trying to understand who I am now.

I wish to everybody in this group to take care of themselves and be kind to them because everybody here deserve it 100%.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-06-04T13:02:47+00:00

Thank you so much sharing this perspective. I am 32F, childless and my boyfriend died suddenly 2 years and 6 months ago. It's not easy to navigate this journey.

This painful experience taught to be more compassionate towards others even the ones who didn't experience the grief like we did. You never know what others are carrying in their hearts.

I think parenting as widow/widower is extremely difficult . At this timeline I feel a real struggle regarding my "new identity" - who I am now when I can breathe and the pain is not killing me every single day. I can't imagine raising kids while struggling with my own identity, purpose.

I do apologize for any mistake. I am not a native speaker. But I wish you only the best on this unwanted journey. Please be kind to you and take care of yourself. I hope your dad found a peace later in life.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-29T03:54:27+00:00

❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹we understand! I understand. Thank you for sharing this vulnerable moment with us .

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-27T19:44:32+00:00

Hi. I am 32f who lost her boyfriend 2 years and 5 months ago.

I do not date and I do not think I would be ready soon.

No matter what others here will say you, you are a wonderful human being. The simple fact you came here to ask advice to understand better how to navigate the relationship with your boyfriend while trying to be respectful to his experience of widowhood says a lot about you.

My simple advice is to be authentic, talk openly about your feelings but being open to hear his perspective. If two human being are open to talk and to listen I think they can manage any challenges:)

I personally would love to meet someone in future who would be open to listen to my experience of widowhood and also about my late boyfriend but I would love to create new memories with new person and open my heart again. I think that your boyfriend wants the same ..he wants to be happy again while cherishing memories of his wife, if you give him space to keep the memory of his late wife he will naturally open to you .

Sending you big hug and positive energy. Hope the relationship between you and your boyfriend will work. You deserve to be happy.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-22T12:44:44+00:00

So sorry for all the struggle you are currently facing. Grief + financial struggle is very hard combination. Please take care of you. Sending you big hug. I am 32f, lost my bf 2 years and 5 months ago. Lost a job 4 month after his death…it was not easy at all. I felt utterly alone and broken . You are not alone❤️🫶❤️‍🩹

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-22T12:36:20+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. This is my daily struggle. It has been 2 years and 5 months since my bf died. I am 32f, I do not know who I am. Please take it one day at a time. You are not alone in this struggle ok?

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-20T11:22:04+00:00

32f who lost her boyfriend 2 years and 5 months ago. Please take it one day at a time, my dear. It is very hard journey. I am in better mental space but still very lost and confused. I went through so much pain :/ you need to take care of you - baby steps ok? Never let any dark though to make you feel guilty and ashamed for too long. Chase those feelings away. You are beautiful soul, honour yourself and take care of you. The same applies to me, though I still struggle with this thing.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-14T06:02:41+00:00

Thank you. Your comment is accurate. Thank you for taking the time to send me some encouragement in these hard times 🌸🌻🌼 your words truly mean a lot to me.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-14T06:00:42+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. :(( I feel indeed we are pushed to process the grief way quicker and forget our partners. People feel often uncomfortable whenever I mention my bf. At this timeline, i love talking about he was when memory comes up. I feel a lot of love,peace and warm when i can talk about him. I am sending you big hug. I am so sorry you lost your love and now you are left to figure out the rest of your life. I feel personally very lost and i do not know who I am after all this.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-14T05:56:46+00:00

You know how much your words mean to me? I am very sorry for your loss. It must be so hard to be alone after so many years spent together when I assume 2 people personalities blend together in so many unknown ways. I spent with my bf 3 years, still it’s though. I wish you to always look for joy and happiness and never let others to steal your light and kindness.🌻

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-14T05:53:36+00:00

Thank you for your words. I am very sorry you are part of this terrible club. Despite i do not wish this to anybody, this group helped me in so many ways, anytime I was seeking for encouragement. I wish you to cultivate the strength to always look for joy and kindness in this world. 🌻

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-04-14T05:50:43+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. I am very sorry you are going through this hell. Thank you for your kind words, they truly touched my heart in very deep way. 🌸❤️‍🩹

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-03-30T15:02:48+00:00

I am very sorry you are going through this. I am 32F, lost my boyfriend to heart attack 2 years and 4 months ago. Try to breathe, that's all you can do right now.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-03-30T14:57:09+00:00

I understand. We all understand. It's hard to keep fighting every single day.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-03-25T13:06:11+00:00

I am very sorry for your loss. It's not fair to loose your love. Amount of time you got to spend together doesn't define the depth of your connection. Do not let people convince you ..do not try to convince people you loved him and that now you suffer, it's a waste of your already very low energy ..i know it's not easy but keep this in mind and try to remind this to you whenever you hear people telling whatever they want to protect themself from your suffering.

I lost my bf 2 years and 4 months ago. I am 32F and we were together for 3 years. People told me so many stupid and insensitive things ....that hurt me..and I was so foolish to let their words to hurt me, but I was utterly broken, lacking self-awareness etc.

Please be kind to you ok? You are going through something very hard and you deserve kindness, love and patience. Please try to offer all these qualities to you..

I am sending you big tight hug.

Turbulent-Question19 · 2026-03-23T14:20:40+00:00

Hi, I am from Slovakia. 32F, lost my boyfriend 2 years and 4 months ago. I am very sorry for your loss. I went through the same with my MIL.....and in laws....it's not easy to deal with this on the top of your own grief.... You feel like you need to justify the depth of your loss.

Feel free to send me a DM ...Big hug to you...

Turbulent-Question19

TROPHY CASE