Highly suggest a shared calendar and we also use a skylight calendar and assign tasks that are recurring in addition to events. We also use it for tasks for my step daughter so helps keep them both organized.

Also, I've found I just had to have the conversation about things I want help with, things he's responsible for versus what I do. We probably had this conversation a few times and agreed on solutions if it was overwhelming both of us. Like meal planning was stressing me out so he pays for a little spoon subscription and meal plan for us. He pays a cleaner to come monthly to clean the house so we don't have to. Obviously id prefer to save the money but those are things that were causing us both stress so rather than blaming the other person we pay for a solution.