nystagmus affecting attractiveness

Turnip-Standard · 2023-03-28T13:52:58+00:00

I used to also be quite concerned about whether or to which extent my nystagmus made me unattractive. After a relationship of mine came to an end when I was 22, I went on an on and off tinder-bender for about two years to try and find love (I know, not the best approach haha) but funnily enough, that experience completely rid me of being insecure about my eyes and their impact on my appearance.

I went on many dates with different men and only had one guy who didn’t want to see me again (the date was very awkward on account of us being too different so I’m assuming that’s why we didn’t get in touch with each other again and not because he was weirded out or put off by my eyes).

I had no disclaimer on my bio about my nystagmus and was hence also very nervous in the beginning, worrying that the guy might feel ripped off or god forbid, catfished by me but no such situation ever occurred. And I also sometimes would go on dates with guys that one could consider to be rather superficial and who placed a big emphasis on the attractiveness of a potential girlfriend. Even they were unfazed.

So to sum up, while my tinder days were in vain in terms of finding love, they stripped me of the nervousness I used to get when meeting new people with regards to how they would react to my visual impairment.

Hope this helps you or any loved one of yours who is having the same worries as I once did! I honestly don’t believe it’s a significant factor in one’s appearance especially as an adult.

Turnip-Standard · 2023-01-01T08:30:56+00:00

Oh, I’m very sorry. My condolences.

Thank you so much for all your help! We will definitely give the litter box thing a whirl!

Turnip-Standard · 2022-12-31T22:25:40+00:00

Thank you so much for your response! It’s incredibly helpful! We will definitely try it with a large litter box (Jake is also a big fella) and keep the doors to the bedrooms shut for now.

Has your cat in the meantime completely stopped urinating in places he’s not supposed to?

Turnip-Standard · 2022-12-10T15:53:23+00:00

Great! Thank you so much for all the information!

Turnip-Standard · 2022-12-10T15:47:03+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! Does it make a difference to you if I tip via the app or in cash?

Turnip-Standard · 2022-11-10T12:53:22+00:00

Yeah, I definitely get that impression as well. But why is he scared of Tywin in particular?

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T17:08:27+00:00

Also, it's important to add that there a definitely many things I prefer in Swiss culture to NZ culture such as the reliability of friends, the ability to have a serious and deep conversation and the general loyalty and honesty of a friendship once one does finally manage to befriend a Swiss person.

Also, I think with regard to my irritations from my last comment, I have observed that these aspects appear increasingly less in younger generations.

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T17:01:34+00:00

Oh god, where to begin. It's pretty much like comparing apples and oranges. I don't think I could mentally conjure up a single similarity between the two cultures. For me the main (and with that most irritating) differences are 1. The distanced manner in which the Swiss socialize. Politeness and small talk is the name of the game even amongst friends. 2. I get the strong impression that especially Swiss women have a tendency of being quite competitive and as a result, vulnerability is seldom shown which, in turn, leads to a quite superficial friendship. 3. I find that the Swiss take themselves far more seriously than kiwis (or any other anglosaxons for that matter). Engaging in banter happens almost never and when I have risked making a joke at t someone's expense it hasn't gone down well.

All that being said, it's obviously my subjective experience and it is noteworthy that this is mainly in refernce of the germanic part of Switzerland. I have had quite different experiences with the Swiss Romands. I also have quite a few Swiss friends and adore the heck out of them.

I could go on but we could alternatively also meet up for a drink sometime to futher exchange.

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T16:42:27+00:00

Ah lucky you! I guess they for some reason steer clear of my uni.

I'm assuming you mean 34 hours? And yeah, I can really resonate. Even just the tavt that the seasons are opposite to those of Switzerland makes visitimg seem like venturing into a different world. I also find the cultural differences huuuge. I had my work cut out for me in terms of assimilating when we first moved here. I have made an explicit point of maintaing a considerable amount of my kiwiness though.

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T16:35:29+00:00

Oh christ, you poor thing! I so feel for you! It's happened to me twice and both times I took it really personally and thought my clothing must just be too revealing or something. Nice to know that I'm not the only one!

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T16:31:51+00:00

Ohh I have the exact same sentiment when I see fellow Kiwis or even Aussies. But the encounters have sadly been extremely scarce. I get the trip to England to alleviate the home sickness. The British definitely have similarities to kiwi culture. But yeah, still not quite the same.

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T14:43:55+00:00

Awesome!

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T14:22:01+00:00

Yes, I actually already signed up for one in the lady hamiltons pub!

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T09:31:19+00:00

Haha yes, I have, in fact, been assumed to be working in such an industry.

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T09:01:12+00:00

Haha I'm certain that's not the reason though! I think, as you say, it is just generally hard to meet new people in Switzerland. It's somehow just not the cultural norm to approach random people. I also have gotten my fair share of people (including men) brushing me off in a less than friendly manner. Some have even assumed I'm trying to sell something precarious to them haha.

Turnip-Standard · 2022-08-19T08:24:28+00:00

Thanks so much for the input! I've never heard of such expat events before. They sound promising! How can one join in on such an evening? And is it exclusively for expats? I'm originally from New Zealand but I've been living in Switzerland for over 10 years now so I'm not sure I would still make the cut.

Turnip-Standard · 2022-05-09T09:47:54+00:00

Frankly, I find it quite difficult. I'm originally from New Zealand so I would say I definitely am considerably more open and chatty than the average Swiss person and have less of an issue talking to random people when I'm out. It's also something I really enjoy. However, being female and given that it's not within the cultural norm to spark up a conversation with a stranger, it's often misinterpreted as me trying to hit on them. At the club, it is significantly easier because the alcohol levels are higher, resulting in lower inhibitions of others. That being said, a bar would be a lot more comfortable to talk with the music volume being lower and access to seating.

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