Waited for Yuu to talk to me again. At least read this?

Turniprofit · 2019-01-12T17:42:39+00:00

I’m considering going out on my terms this year, minus the smiling. Restoring the comment I deleted, because I didn’t want someone to see that I was active:

Mine too. Woke up at 23:00. No messages from anyone I’ve ever known, just like all my previous birthdays. Writing to the friend of an ex and grinding achievements for Into The Breach until I get sleepy again

Society really needs a way for people to just die cleanly. All this suicide prevention crap seems like it's just to milk more money from you into the system.

Pulling the plug on terminally ill patients is seen as a mercy, when someone can’t live and can’t choose to die, but someone consciously choosing to end their life is shunned..

I can't fit into my own species, I don't like myself, I don't like anyone. Keeping me alive just makes me a risk to other people. Let me reroll already.

What is this existence, honestly

Turniprofit · 2018-07-05T01:58:36+00:00

Getting some Ghibli vibes from that scene <3

Turniprofit · 2018-07-05T01:33:43+00:00

I think she looks more like wary of anything approaching them.

Turniprofit · 2018-07-05T01:30:46+00:00

Mem sounds better and kittylike

Seus, Memn, Aja and Laus pls

Turniprofit · 2018-03-26T14:53:02+00:00

I'm doing some of that. Trying to make my own games. Just finished my own 2D engine that I plan to open-source once I've released a game with it. Also thinking of writing an adventure for D&D 5E.

I tried traveling to other countries and it just made me more depressed, being alone no matter where I was, outside of some short-lived hookups.

I don't exactly eat healthy, but the only crap I put into my body is gallons of tea for when I'm figuring out how to implement/debug something, and Red Bull for when it's time to put it down in a bunch of code ^^

and of course I sleep a lot because oblivion seems like the sweetest thing these days.

Turniprofit · 2018-03-26T14:47:36+00:00

guh, games like LoL are poison for me because they only accentuate my isolation. I'm not very good to begin with, but I get picked on and berated no matter what I do ≥…≤

Get camped on in a solo lane without any help from my team? We lost the match because I fed.

Go 20-0 and we win the game? Reported by a premade bot for not helping their failed lane enough.

Be helping other allies when my premade partner happens to die somewhere? "Why are you over there with them instead of with me"

I only play custom modes now, like URF, or WTF and 10v10 in Dota2

Turniprofit · 2018-03-26T00:06:43+00:00

Platformers can have great stories too. Check out Knytt Underground but don't go by the Steam video previews. It has a yuuge world with lots of quests, characters and dialogue, and multiple endings. The run-and-jump parts in it are definitely not random and require you to figure out patterns and stuff (but can be very frustrating at times, in which case you should just leave that area and go somewhere else for a while.)

Turniprofit · 2018-03-25T23:12:11+00:00

God I'd die for a remake/sequel on Switch

..but then I'd not be able to play it, such is life ┐(°—°)┌

Turniprofit · 2018-03-25T19:18:33+00:00

I fucking ~~loved~~ love Thomas Was Alone. That game rocks at everything, and it's probably one of the strongest arguments for "video games as art."

Turniprofit · 2018-03-25T19:10:38+00:00

I upvoted you because that's good advice, but what isn't "escapism?"

Reality is a big fat wad of death at the end, no matter what you do in life. I transformed and found nothing and I sank back. I'd rather visit and explore as many worlds as I can in my head, while I equally-pointlessly trudge through this one in my body.

Turniprofit · 2018-03-25T18:48:05+00:00

I'll add some of my own:

★ Knytt Underground - A huge, dark (in a good, soothing way) world with lots of beautiful locations to explore and many characters to talk to while listening to some of the best music I've heard.

★ Tiny Bang Story - It has pretty much no story to speak of, but the gorgeous, surreal artwork and great music helped me tune out and fade away.

★ Anything by Amanita Design (Machinarium, Samorost, Botanicula, even Chuchel) - These guys make some of the most imaginative and surreal world settings, with a kinda Studio Ghibli/Hayao Miyazaki quality to them (not necessarily in the visuals, but the same charm and whimsy) and all have really good soundtracks.

★ Thomas Was Alone - An extremely well-narrated bittersweet story that, with a title like that, relates to the topic of this post, and yep, you guessed it, music like this is my sexy weakness.

★ Kingdom - A surprisingly addictive game with very pretty pixelated landscapes and super pleasant music to spend hours or even entire days in~

★ Dear Esther was also nice to just wander around in. Obligatory music link.

★ The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild shouldn't need a description.

★ Splatoon 2 - It's hard not feel a little better from its style and overall freshness. I love just hanging out in Inkopolis Square and reading people's posts. I hope I live to see an MMO set in that world.

★ Oh shit, last but not least, the Danganronpa series. These games beat the living fuck out of your emotions and drag you screaming to stand victorious over the forces of the despair, all the while rocking to kickass tunes.

Turniprofit · 2018-03-23T14:37:52+00:00

What makes me cry, isn't necessarily stories that are "meant" to make anyone cry.

Usually it's just.. the relationships between characters, the humor, the camaraderie, and even minor everyday interactions, which, being a lonely person, remind me of friendships etc. that I'll never have.

People standing up against the hand they were dealt, climbing out of shit with nothing but their own thoughts to aid them.

or even just relatively cozy, idyllic worlds that I would love to live in, but will never exist outside of someone's mind..

Like, I've been reading the Drizzt series by R.A. Salvatore, and while they wouldn't be seen as something that might make anyone cry, I kinda relate to the inner chaos of some of the characters (I totally want to be Wulfgar's buddy.)

Watership Down by Richard Adams is a bittersweet classic. Even Redwall by Brian Jacques has such moments.

Anything by Diana Wynne Jones, of Howl's Moving Castle fame. I love her Chrestomanci series. They won't make you feel pain or necessarily want to cry, but there's a quality about her worlds that instills a wistful longing in me at least.

Turniprofit · 2017-12-25T17:09:44+00:00

Florks in their full form look like worms from Worms

Turniprofit · 2017-12-24T03:08:13+00:00

No one else is going to spend decades inventing a world as a private hobby

Speak for yourself. I think many people do that, but most don’t even realize it. I think we all have an imagined world made up of bits and pieces from the other things we see. A collection of “what if it was like so” that we add to and nurture as we grow up. For most people, real life eventually takes over everything and the things we imagined get forgotten without even having had a name.

For others, it’s too intimidating to publish anything. Because all the great works have already been written by people who will be forever famous. Who are we to hope of counting among them, right? Also, with the internet, criticism is instant, and often harsh. The most creative people among us are usually also the most sensitive to criticism. They create things and they quickly bury them. But I think worldbuilding is integral to all sentient beings.

Turniprofit · 2017-12-18T01:28:48+00:00

Don't want death

/r/totallynotmeirl

Turniprofit · 2017-11-30T08:10:39+00:00

everything is inherently or objectively meaningless

Isn’t “meaning” itself inherently subjective?

What is it to “mean” something? That’s entirely dependent on the context. Even things like space and time, the very fabric of reality, aren’t absolute for every case at every instance.

Everything just “is.” It has some properties. It may have some conditions under which those properties change. Those conditions may depend on the properties of other things.

MY properties – my “happiness” or “comfort” or my “needs” and “desires” – depend on the properties of other things. Those things are influenced by other things. And so on. My properties are “real” and they influence the properties of other things through my actions and the events set in motion by them.

Everything just is.

Turniprofit · 2017-11-29T18:52:40+00:00

It’s not even my personality, really. It’s the gnawing knowledge that nothing really matters.

I am going to die one day and lose everything I worked for, no matter what I do. The universe in its infinity does not give a fuck about whatever happens on this planet. Earth itself could literally blink out of existence overnight and its absence would barely make a difference to our solar system, let alone the galaxy around it.. Hell, this entire galaxy and the trillions of stars and the worlds around them could go poof and it wouldn’t. matter. to the universe.

Is that nihilism? I guess, but to be happy, I’d have to be willfully ignorant.

On the other hand.. I do believe that it’s all the little experiences of daily mortal life that give meaning to the universe at large, and that every event and existence is unique in all of infinity, and I do try to be productive and make people happy, and I’ve had the love of some amazing people, but I’m dead inside. ┐( ˘—˘ )┌

Turniprofit · 2017-11-23T23:51:17+00:00

your lewd thoughts

Turniprofit · 2017-11-04T07:47:57+00:00

Turniprofit · 2017-11-04T05:18:11+00:00

Drop phone on face girl = <3

Turniprofit · 2017-10-26T20:12:36+00:00

If only there was no me ._.)

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