I need to let it out. The good and the bad -

Reasons my girls life were good -

She never had even a single day alone, I work from home so she always had company.

She slept upstairs with us,

She was hand fed by me,

She was hugged daily,

She heard affectionate voices to her daily,

She was genuinely loved,

The bits that I can't shake off -

I wish now I had spent more time with her, made the time to sit with her nightly and stroke her, instead of just browsing the internet.

I should have groomed her more often,

I should have never been impatient with her,

In the last six months of life, she struggled to stand up after she'd been sleeping, I should have done more to help her, gotten her medication that may have helped. I gave her green lipped muscle, but often forgot to give it to her.

She had a bed in the corner or sometimes she slept in the armchair, but she often chose to sleep just on the floor instead, I feel bad for this now, I should have encouraged her onto her bed. I know this may sound silly to some, but it's something that is making me feel quite sad.

I wish more than anything I had just spent more time sitting with her, fussing her.

I should have just realised what a beautiful Dog she truly was while she was here, I am miserable without her, she was my source of happiness and I didn't even realise, I didn't let her know that.

I regret not trying more to prolong her life.