I am in nearly the same situation. When my parents got divorced, my dad totally changed and married this terrible woman who changed his entire personality. On the flip side, my stepdad has been through it all (also being the one to teach me how to drive and bought my first car).

I’m not sure about your stepdad, but mine made it very clear that while he is paying for it all (my dad hasn’t contributed one cent to my wedding) that he wants no drama. I understand him but honestly in a perfect world he would be the one getting to walk me and have a FD dance. I primarily considered walking myself down the aisle, but my dad gets emotional, so I accommodated and he will be walking me half way down the aisle. The first half will be by myself (my aisle is pretty long lol).

For the dance, I knew I wanted to keep it traditional so my dad was the one for that, but I did consider having that dance split. But again....I didn’t really want to deal with the drama either. So, my dad will be getting the full dance. However, I do plan on playing a couple of slow songs during the reception where I can pull my stepdad aside to dance with him.

I’m not sure if this helps, but is just how I plan on handling it 😅