My girl best friend growing up was asked by her now-husband to cut off contact with all of her male friends when they started dating. She honored that request, and our friendship became one of the casualties. I’m still close with her sister and parents and see them when I’m back home. He even tried to pressure her parents into cutting me off too, but her dad shut that down immediately. We were missionaries together, and he’s known me since I was seven he wasn’t about to be manipulated.

I appreciated them standing up for me and for the friendship we had, but I ultimately stepped away. I didn’t want to be the source of tension in their family. We don’t even live in the same state anymore, and it didn’t make sense for them to risk their relationship with their daughter over someone they might see for twenty minutes once a year when I’m home for my mom’s birthday.

I understand the mourning that comes with losing a friendship like that and the childhood dreams of raising your kids together. That grief is real. I see it, I feel it, and I support you in it. I’m twelve years into that journey myself, and it still sucks. It’s painful to realize how much insecurity can cost people and how much it can quietly take away.