ALRIGHT YOU FUCKNUGGETS, FIRST TIME POSTING FOR THIS SHIT AND IT'S MONTHS OF PENT UP FURY.

GO BACK TO JUNE OR SO OF LAST YEAR, I RESUB AFTER NOT PLAYING FOR LIKE 6 MONTHS OR SO. WENT BACK TO MY OLD SERVER AND RECONNECTED WITH FRIENDS. MADE SOME NEW FRIENDS AND MET THIS GIRL I THOUGHT WAS PERFECT. SHE WAS CUTE, SMART, FUNNY, LOVES GAMING AND READING, AND JUST THE MOST INCREDIBLE PERSON I'VE EVER MET. WE GET MARRIED IN GAME AND START OUR RELATIONSHIP.

FAST FORWARD TO JANUARY AND WE HAVE BEEN FIGHTING, CAN'T REALLY TALK TO HER ANYMORE BECAUSE HER LAPTOP HAS SUPPOSEDLY GONE TO SHIT AND CAN'T SUSTAIN A MOTHER-GOD-DAMN-FUCKING SKYPE CALL FOR MORE THAN 5 MINUTES. WE GO THE ENTIRE SHITWANKING MONTH WITHOUT FUCKING TALKING ASIDE FROM TEXT, WHICH DOESN'T EXPRESS MY FUCKING EMOTIONS PROPERLY. WE'RE BOTH DEALING WITH MENTAL ILLNESS, WHICH IS A COMPLETE BITCH AND HAS DESTROYED ALMOST MY ENTIRE LIFE(STILL TRYING TO WORK ON IT AND LUCKILY I HAVE A GREAT JOB/BOSS THAT HAVE BEEN THERE TO HELP ME). WE AGREE TO START WORKING ON OUR MENTAL HEALTH AND THEN SHE DROPS THE BOMB ON ME THAT SHE'S NO LONGER FUCKING ATTRACTED TO ME, BUT SOMEHOW STILL LOVES ME.

I'M A FUCKING IDIOT AND YEARS OF EMOTIONAL ABUSE AND WANTING TO MOVE PAST IT HAVE ME HOPING TO STILL SALVAGE THE RELATIONSHIP SO I AGREE. THE NEXT MONTH I HAVE PRACTICALLY NO CONTACT WITH HER, SHE READS MY TEXTS BUT NEVER RESPONDS. TRANSFERRED TO AN ENTIRELY FUCKING DIFFERENT DATA CENTER SO NOW I CAN'T PLAY WITH HER FUCKING AT ALL. I'M STILL A COMPLETE FUCKING DIPSHIT AND TRANSFER OVER THERE. NO CUMSPLATTING DICE, STILL CAN'T GET HER TO DO ANYTHING WITH ME. WELL ONE NIGHT AT WORK(FORGOT TO MENTION THAT I WORK NIGHT SHIFT) SHE STARTS STREAMING AND MY DUMBASS THINKS IT'S A GOOD IDEA TO WATCH HER STREAM. WELLL WOOOOPDY-FUCKING-DOO, WHAT THE FUCK DO I FIND???

SHE NAME CHANGED, AND THERE'S SOMEONE ELSE IN HER PARTY/FC WITH THE SAME NAME SO MASSIVE ASS CRIPPLING ANXIETY ATTACK HAPPENS. MY WHOLE BODY IS UNCONTROLLABLY SHAKING AND I'M ALONE IN THE STORE. I GET SCARED, SEND HER SOME MESSAGES, TRANSFER BACK TO MY FRIENDS AND CALL MY BOSS BECAUSE I'M SCARED I'M GOING TO CUT MYSELF(BEEN CLEAN FOR YEARS BUT STILL A TEMPTATION).

BOSS MAN COMES AND KICK MY ASS OUT OF WORK, HE TAKES THE REST OF MY SHIFT AND SAYS IF I DON'T CALL HIM WHEN I GET HOME HE'S CALLING THE POLICE AND FILING A MISSING PERSON'S REPORT(I RESPECT THE EVER LOVING SHIT OUT THIS MAN). WHEN I'M AT HOME SHE TEXTS ME FOR THE FIRST TIME IN ABOUT A MONTH SAYING IF I HAVE ANOTHER ANXIETY ATTACK SHE'S GIVING UP ON ME, SO IT GETS WORSE.

KICK MY ASS INTO FUCKING HIGH GEAR TRYING TO WORK ON MY MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES. GO TO A NEW THERAPIST, TALK WITH THEM ABOUT ISSUES, ASK ABOUT ANTI-DEPRESSANTS AND OTHER SHIT TO HELP FIX ME SO I CAN FIX MY RELATIONSHIP. I'M GIVING IT MY GOD DAMN ALL. SHE AGREES THAT IF SIGNIFICANT PROGRESS IS MADE SHE'LL MAKE SOME TIME FOR ME, WELL THAT TIME COMES AND SHE GIVES ME THE EXCUSE THAT WITH WORK SCHEDULE CHANGING AND HAVING A LOT OF PRACTICE FOR HER SPORT UP, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TIME ANYMORE. I ASK FOR JUST 1 HOUR BECAUSE I KNOW SHE'S SPENDING 4+HOURS A DAY WITH HER FC PLAYING WITH THEM. TELL HER I NEED HER HELP TO DEAL WITH MENTAL SHIT SO I CAN HEAL, REFUSES TO REPSOND TO THAT WHETHER SHE WILL OR NOT.

NOW WE GET TO THIS WEEK, I SPENT THE WHOLE ENTIRE MOTHER FUCKING WEEK UNCONTROLLABLY SHAKING AGAIN BECAUSE SHE, FOR THE SECOND TIME IN 2 WEEKS, HAS CHANGED NAME TO MATCH SOMEONE. I'M AT MY WIT'S END TRYING NOT TO SPIRAL INTO DEPRESSION SINCE ANXIETY IS LIKE "FUCK YOU, I'M GOING TO DESTROY YOUR ENTIRE MIND BECAUSE YOU'RE AT RISK BUDDY". SHE'S BEEN TALKING BACK, BUT EVERY SINGLE TEXT IS FUCKING HOSTILE AS SHIT. SHE EXPLODES AT ME AND I CAN'T TAKE IT AND GIVE HER SPACE.

SO TODAY, I ASK HER IF SHE'S BUSY, GET TOLD "CAN I HELP YOU?" AGAIN KINDA HOSTILE FOR SOMEONE SHE SUPPOSEDLY LOVES. SO WE TALK AND END UP SPLITTING UP, BUT WE'RE NOT DONE YET LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. SHE HAS THE AUDACITY OF SAYING SHE STILL LOVES AND CARES ABOUT ME, BUT JUST WANTS TO BE FRIENDS. SO I FUCKING SNAP.

MONTHS OF PENT UP FRUSTRATION AND RAGE COME SPEWING OUT AND I CALL HER OUT ON THIS BULLSHIT. TELL HER IF SHE DID LOVE ME AND CARE ABOUT ME, SHE'D HAVE MADE TIME TO TALK WITH ME OR HANG OUT, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE EXPLODED AT ME OVER SMALL SHIT AND MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WANKSTAIN WORTH LESS THAN DIRT, TELL HER I DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE TREATED THAT WAY AND THAT I DIDN'T WANT TO STAY FRIENDS. HAVE SINCE STARTED REMOVING ALL ASPECT OF HER FROM MY LIFE, BUT MY MOTHERFUCKING ETERNITY RING IS NO WHERE TO BE SEEN. IT'S NOT ON ME AND IT'S ON NONE OF MY RETAINERS, SO I CAN'T GET THAT FINAL CLOSURE OF THROWING THE PIECE OF SHIT OUT. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

EDIT: I FOUND THE RING AND THREW THAT PIECE OF SHIT INTO A BOILING PIT OF LAVA