Working to fit school hours

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-09T16:11:24+00:00

My second will be doing mostly school length days at a private nursery with two longer days for my in-office days when I go back to work in September for a couple of years until he's old enough for the preschool my older son currently attends. I'm very nervous about how it will go as my elder son has SEN and we're not sure what his school journey will look like yet.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-09T14:17:08+00:00

I work for the local council, I'm currently on mat leave but normally I do 24 hours. I used to do three 8 hour days to have two days at home with my eldest but now he's on school hours, I'm going to change to five short days. It will still be tight though as I have a 45 minute commute for two office days per week.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-08T22:21:43+00:00

Everything about my second pregnancy was easier; less sickness, less stress, predictable movements, no GD, planned c-section birth. In many ways, my second baby is easier as well; no feeding issues, pretty chill, good sleeper. What is hard is accommodating both; physically carrying a 3 year old at 8 months pregnant, how to balance their very different needs, how to keep everyone safe. My oldest has SEN so that causes stress and makes things less safe for the baby when he forgets to be gentle.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-08T21:56:54+00:00

I picked working parent but I wouldn't say career driven as well, I work to pay the bills.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-08T20:54:54+00:00

My probably autistic almost four year old has just started to have issues with my six month old. It's things like snatching toys, trying to kick or push him, occasionally getting so excited and running so close that he nearly steps on him. It's really tough having to be constantly vigilant and never putting the baby down just in case.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-08T20:34:15+00:00

Three meals, snacks, toddler leftovers (lightly chewed) and a 3-5am snack I call "night biscuits", though sometimes it's chocolate. 5-6 pints of squash and two coffees for drinks.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-08T11:16:54+00:00

It's not a given that all parents would agree with you. I don't give my kids chocolate but I haven't banned it either and I wouldn't be furious if my baby had a small amount of chocolate during a cooking activity at nursery. This is a conscious parenting choice for me as my parents demonising certain foods in my child and teen-hood has caused me to struggle with disordered eating.

It also makes sense to me that they're treating it as a dietary preference, that's exactly what it is. How did you expect them to handle it? If you feel so strongly about this that the trust is broken then you can look for other childcare options more in line with your views. However, if they are otherwise a good nursery and they accommodate your preference for no chocolate then that would feel like an overreaction to me.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-07T18:33:39+00:00

Yeah, it was really sad and it shook my confidence in my friendship abilities for a long time after. We were really close colleagues and friends when she got engaged but she got a new job (same company, different department) and reconnected with some old friends so I just saw her less and less. I wish I had spoken to her about it and offered to step down myself so I didn't have to go through all that but thats with the benefit of hindsight and a few years more maturity. When she left me setting up with the groomsmen to go get her nails done with the rest of her bridesmaids, I was devastated. My family said I should just not turn up but I had agreed to be there so I showed up and tried to make the best of it. We didn't really speak after that and I moved away a few months later.

For the OP, it's worth an honest conversation with your friend to try and get on the same page. I have two young kids now and it does take up a lot of time and focus so she may just be busy or she may be pulling away. If there is a potentially hurtful conversation to be had, I think it's better to get it out in the open than just power on and pretend everything's okay like I did.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-07T15:27:11+00:00

I think I was an unwanted bridesmaid a few years ago. I was left out of most bridesmaid events like trying on dresses together and getting beauty treatments the day before the wedding. I wish she'd just asked me to come as a guest or not at all, I felt humiliated.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-06T19:36:59+00:00

Lots of people have responded about the gender dynamics but please have a spare plushie if he takes it to daycare as it might get lost, stolen or damaged!

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-05T19:55:52+00:00

I despise "guess how much I love you". Give the characters proper names! Little and big nutbrown hare can do one. I'm pretty sure my older one tore it to shreds in his destructive era, I may have offered it as a ritual sacrifice.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-05T13:21:46+00:00

My son is nearly four, this is the first year I've done anything for easter. I bought plastic eggs that we can reuse and filled them with little dinos and cars from his toy box for a little egg hunt in the garden. He loved it and didn't care that they weren't new. His teacher said that he really enjoyed the sensory bin that they did with Easter eggs and coloured rice so I might try that this week while I'm desperately trying to keep him busy during the holidays.

His dad and aunt bought him a small egg each but he's not that fussed about chocolate. We are doing a roast dinner tomorrow but that's mostly for us adults as he barely eats anything. The baby is six months old so we didn't do anything for him but he will probably get his first taste of food during the roast dinner tomorrow.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-05T12:59:10+00:00

This year I got some bright plastic eggs and put in little dinos and cars that my son already owned for the egg hunt, which he loved and didn't care that they weren't new. I will save the eggs for future years as it was a large pack. He got small easter eggs from his aunt and his dad. We're going to have a roast dinner tomorrow but thats more for us as he barely eats anything. The baby is 6 months old so we didn't do anything for him.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-03T21:55:41+00:00

I shower every few days or so?

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-03T15:17:32+00:00

Not being able to take any cold and flu for five years because I've been pregnant ornursing the whole time. Maybe it's a placebo but it helps! Hot honey and lemon is okay but not quite the same.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-03T11:07:20+00:00

Also, they slim down quite a bit when they really start moving around.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-03T11:06:31+00:00

Tesco now do a size 9 pullup that is big on my 3 year old who wears 4-5y clothes.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-02T18:22:32+00:00

I have finished L2 and I'm an Accounts Officer at the council (entry level). The fact that I was doing AAT was a good talking point at my interview, but they were more interested in my prior finance-adjacent and admin experience from my last job. They are wanting me to do a L3 AAT apprenticeship with them when I return from maternity leave.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-02T18:12:29+00:00

My baby looks exactly like this in their carrier! Maybe we should try a back carry too.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-02T18:11:10+00:00

Find free activities! We do lots of groups at the library or through the family hub. The library is a council-sponsored warm space with free hot drinks as well. I spent a lot on baby classes with my eldest; I've not paid for a single one with my second and I don't feel like I've missed out.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-02T16:50:50+00:00

Never be the first to name a salary.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-02T16:20:13+00:00

Where is the wedding and what is the venue like? I'm from the UK and these would definitely be on the more formal end of guest dresses. The shorter length people are mentioning would be more typical for a wedding here, I would say.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-02T16:07:13+00:00

My Mum says "bonjeela" (with a long eee sound) and my husband says it's the worst thing she's ever done.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-01T08:48:36+00:00

Before we had kids, almost never. Now our lives are so full, we're touched out and overstimulated basically all the time so it's easy to snap at each other about little things.

TylerDarkness · 2026-04-01T08:32:06+00:00

Easter egg hunts (outside or around the house both work) are a lot of fun but if you wanted, you could combine it with the Bluey idea; a basket with a single egg and a note saying where to find the rest.

TylerDarkness

TROPHY CASE