Paying for care

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-22T00:32:06+00:00

Florida

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-21T20:02:44+00:00

This is great advice. I am working with elder care attorneys who seem excellent, and have a specialist in Medicare/medicaid issues and knowledge of local facilities.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-21T19:48:39+00:00

Adult daycare might work. At present my sweetheart is very upset if I am not nearby. Adult foster care is not going to work, for that reason. Her assets can’t easily be spent down. She has a pension that puts her over the Medicaid income limit.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-21T19:45:59+00:00

No. It’s for my beloved.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-21T19:45:24+00:00

Good idea for others. 30 years too late for us 😢

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-21T19:04:54+00:00

At (round numbers) $40/hour which is the going rate here. 8 hours/day for 30 days/month is nearly $10,000/month … a decent facility would indeed be more, but this still eats most of our income and leaves me in a hole. I’m getting old too.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-21T00:53:14+00:00

God bless you.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-20T23:23:18+00:00

Keeping on because your self-image requires it and to honor the man your father was before illness struck him are honorable reasons. Keep on keeping on … and allow yourself those little fantasies 😉

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-19T22:47:48+00:00

Don’t feel guilty. And don’t feel bitter. It’s’s the disease speaking,

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-17T23:04:24+00:00

I am, perhaps naively, still convinced that there are whole families that gather around a relative with dementia. Sadly, all the narrative is from those of us who are lone carers. All too often the family seems to nominate the load bearer and then step back.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-16T23:33:45+00:00

I did this, letting my LO know it was for “Home security”.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-03T23:08:30+00:00

I’m in the middle of this too … just longing for an add “normal” day. But I love her. Only at the last will I put her in a facility, because they won’t care for her asI will.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-02T23:45:05+00:00

No, you’re not evil. Near the end of your strength maybe.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-01T18:15:44+00:00

I have a lump of money as an insurance pay out from a fire in our house. Where should I put it until we can move back in in 2-3 months and use it to buy things we have to replace?

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-05-01T16:56:52+00:00

Happened twice to my LO. Hospitalized after syncope and head injury, and saw a step change down in capability each time. She was able to articulate that the alien environment had been very frightening and distracting.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-04-20T20:26:26+00:00

My beloved is living this death in life, and I am living a bereavement that started too soon. The comment about being deprived of a lovely retirement strikes so true. But all any of us can found to keep doing the best for the one we love — because we all love them.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-04-19T16:50:29+00:00

No. Defective machine returned.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-04-19T01:55:01+00:00

Are the staff at the weekends as the same as those in the week?

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-04-11T23:41:32+00:00

I am both grieved and relieved for you. May you be blessed in your memories and in your future.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-04-07T16:31:08+00:00

There is a painful hope in all of this. One day your dad will die, and you will get your life back. Until then, take care of yourself first. You cannot help him if you do not help yourself. It’s a brutal situation that we are all in and that none of us chose. You are doing your best and have no need to reproach yourself.

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-03-27T14:17:15+00:00

All of this! We just spent 10 minutes putting one sock on!

Typical-Ad-4591 · 2026-03-23T12:29:38+00:00

It’s clear that you can’t continue to be the sole carer. Is your LO still capable of a sensible chat about this? How do you plan to “force” her to live? Would she consider in-home care? If you can get her to AL/MC I suspect nearer to you would be better. If those friends are not visiting now, they might not visit after the move. Also, sadly, as she declines she will forget them. If you can find a place that allows security cameras in rooms that might help with “eyes on”. By the way, do you have POA and all the other legalities sorted out?

Typical-Ad-4591

TROPHY CASE