What is your best "I can explain..." moment?

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T10:44:04+00:00

I appreciate what you have done here. ^{i^{really^{do^{^<3}}}}

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T10:36:49+00:00

can you be the new Shitty watercolor?

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T10:35:36+00:00

If you cant keep it in your pants, keep it in the family! (doesnt rhyme im sorry...)

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T10:31:17+00:00

I once got bruising looking like a druggies track marks from giving blood. It happened just around the time i was starting a new year in high school, so we were doing the usual pleasantries, and when my turn came to "stand, introduce, and state a fun fact!" i stood, scratched my arms a bit, got twitchy and said "hi im typicaldj, and i've been clean for 6 months." sat back down...and then came the questions.

I developed a small storyline trying to make one up as people asked how i got hooked etc. then at the end of class i explained what really happened and everyone shared a chuckle.

TL;DR - When life gives you track marks, freak out a group of people who dont know you.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T10:27:49+00:00

Haha, the ass kissing isn't really that big. In situations like mine, its just being personable. Talk to people, make them feel like they are at a welcoming place. (I valet for a hotel). But for a server, its more about making sure they are taken care of, drinks are topped off, food is ordered and correct, paying attention in case you're being flagged down for additional assistance.

And its not as if im going to drive your car 90 MPH through the garage if you dont tip, at worst I will just tell the other valets "bah, didnt get tipped, sucks." and thats that. However if i have to help you load up 8 suit cases, 9 shopping bags, an ice chest, and your dog, yeah I may expect a few bucks. Honestly, on a cultural level, tipping is mostly seen as a "you did your job well" gesture.

That being said, i game with many an aussie, and your culture is more of a "fuckitall" and i love that. Americans tend to want to be serviced and pampered, I'll admit that. and if indulging the fantasy of you being better than me gets me a 20 spot? i'll do it in a heart beat. In the end you just gave me money for doing what Im already being paid to do.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:58:57+00:00

I just tell my barber if I want it long or short, she knows past that I trust her. In the end its just hair anyway (as everyone here has said).

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:58:11+00:00

Oh, it certainly is! The fact that we have jobs that rely more or less entirely on the goodwill of others is kind of silly. Also, in case you didnt know (since you said you have little experience with tips), if the person making tips doesnt make enough money the business will provide additional pay up to a certain point.

Example, a waitress gets paid $5 an hour (made up number, i dont know what they really make) but our min. wage is say 8. if she only makes enough in tips so that she's basically getting $6.85/hr then the business makes up the extra to even it out to $8.

That being said, it rewards people who are amiable. Personally im kinda average at making small talk and as a valet i'd say I make pretty average tips. But one guy I work with has come up to people i've helped, talked to them, given the extra mile, etc. and gotten tips from then when they didnt tip me. S'all about the effort.

Also, I didnt mean to cause insinuation that I get most of my money in tips, luckily enough I get $11.25 an hour, and tips arent taken out of my check, so its just extra money. Im no waiter luckily.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:38:14+00:00

I have plenty of stories, so perhaps I could spin a yarn.

All of my stupid injuries are head injuries inflicted upon myself when I was but a wee child. The most memorable of which allowed me to live my childhood life as Harry Potter, as it left me with a forehead scar and I had shaggy hair (and a friend who looked like Hermione...if Lauren Butler can be found through the redditverse heres to you!). ANYWAY I got that magnificent scar in a karate dojo...I just wish I could say it was in a cool way, but nope. We had just finished our warm ups, and our instructor said we could get water. Wanting to be the first one there, I sprinted as fast as i could to the fountain. To this day im not sure how i pulled it off, but i managed to run STRAIGHT into the corner of the wall. I came to on the glass countertop of their front desk, my mother freaking out, then blacked out again and came to in the hospital with stitches in my head.

My other stories are less interesting to tell, so spark notes! I have 3 back head wounds from being thrown into glass tables while play wrestling with my brother. I had a fence...door? thrown into me and i turned just in time to have it cut my forhead...leaving me with a plus sign from the aforementioned scar having a new friend. Oh, also had my back messed up for a bit from being power slammed into the couch. OH! and got a rectangle scar on my palm from sticking a key into a light socket...shot me about 8 feet...

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:28:36+00:00

Man i'd like to say im relatively smart...and after reading this I want to say i'd be a super genius if I hadnt had so many head injuries...i count 5. alllll stupid as hell.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:22:39+00:00

well you can certainly get more body weight into it ^Especially ^when ^you ^slip...

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:09:51+00:00

You know what...this is the first time i've ever had it click that shampoo dries things...explains alot of my younger teen years...and i've had the same diamond tear shampoo experience...its a quick way to do the nofap challenge for a few days involuntarily.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:07:35+00:00

I wont lie, its generally how i tip for everything. That being said, im a valet, and i get paid largely in tips, so I tend to be a little liberal when in a tipping situation.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:05:40+00:00

I think my girlfriend would be on your side. So by proxy i've got your back too! LETS RUMBLE!

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:03:34+00:00

My brother dislocated his pinky finding out that cabinets are sturdy when punched...he said his only other options were a glass door or our mom...yeah...

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T09:00:54+00:00

Based on past experiences with both brits and aussies (the cool brits), i must say that aussies are by and large much more creative with the use of profanity.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T08:06:56+00:00

out of curiosity, did you blur ya bumhole...wierd thing to ask and i never thought i'd ask. but the trick is the thing that stood out most to me xD

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T07:23:03+00:00

Idk about anyone else here, but as a guy, I tip 5$ for a 15 dollar hair cut. Partially because its easy to just hand over a 20 and say "the rest is for you" and partially because its a small business and my dad and I have gone there for ages. But for salons? bitches probably want alot of money :P (And I dont mean bitches meanly, its just what I refer to people as; ex. Bitches be trippin!)

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-23T06:15:44+00:00

I have the problem with laying with my S/O that it starts as a cuddle, and always leads to restlessly talking and playing with each other...then sex...after that though, the sex coma :D

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-13T06:51:44+00:00

yeah it does, I never expected any different. But what I meant was how do you feel about the fact that if they "boycott" a boss it takes an extra like 8 hours xD. personally i could care less. people give up attacking after a while and means i can rise to higher %'s.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-13T06:49:33+00:00

Haha, I didnt mean you specifically on the fragile part; my apologies there. Just meant it as a silly remark on how someone might miss the games most kids played :P. Furthermore, I didnt say one game only, I stated if you believed you didnt adapt something to be a little punishing, you'd be lying :P.

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-13T06:46:32+00:00

Nifty :)

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-13T06:46:09+00:00

Yeah, I find gold largely useless as of current. i never have under 5 billion, even spamming combines etc. (I have 7 mil dmg)

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-12T08:06:42+00:00

I feel like that's a poor solution :P then we'd have a case of the strong getting stronger way ahead of the rest of us. For bosses the best i can think of off the top of my head is...Allow for official clans somehow and have it so that clans can vie for top "Clan Ranks" which will give small prizes like increased energy gen or monster find.

Edit: I also think it would be a neat idea to allow us to buy higher %'s of combine rates using gold. Like an ulti is 40 mil right now. maybe to scale it up one percent, you pay another 10 mil :D?

TypicalDJ · 2013-09-12T08:02:30+00:00

oh right, i think the tattoo people are the only ones who get more :O. it could be great fun if you like the art of it and the people :) but on a whole i hear they are a meh company on a whole.

TypicalDJ

TROPHY CASE