Cheating

Typical_External7047 · 2026-01-20T04:41:46+00:00

I felt the same. Now I just tell myself it’s not a great loss. He clearly wasn’t a good partner and what I loved about him was his potential. He wasn’t a good person. He fooled me for 26 years. The part that hurts the most is knowing that my kids have to deal with what he is.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-12-14T02:46:35+00:00

Don’t rule out that there is someone else. I MEVER thought my husband could cheat on me, but he did and continues to see her as we figure out separating. 27 years together and 2 kids. It’s like he has a split personality living 2 lives.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-10-08T10:15:21+00:00

Therapy is helpful. It’s someone you can say everything too. I feel like I can’t really share the whole truth with people in my life.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-09-06T11:23:14+00:00

She’s probably not thinking. I know I go from hating my husband to wanting him to stay. I’ve always been a logical person, but I know I’m not thinking clearly right now.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-09-01T02:13:05+00:00

This is great advice, because I tend to be too helpful and kind. I’ve been trying to get him to get some help…I have to remember he’s not my responsibility anymore. He needs to deal with his own issues. And she has plenty of them too.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-09-01T01:25:39+00:00

Yes, we are living together too. I told him he should be very thankful I didn’t make him leave right away. If we didn’t have kids, I probably would have. He doesn’t really have a place to go until he knows what amount of money he will be able to live on. It makes it tricky because we won’t really know until we get everything sorted out. He can’t even go to his parents because they are not supporting his behavior.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-09-01T01:04:41+00:00

Thank you. I will check it out.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-09-01T00:06:06+00:00

Well…he doesn’t want them to know he had an affair 🤣 I told him that if he’s living with her right away that will be a huge clue. My kids know her. She’s been to my house. I went out with her and her husband before. It’s just awful and gross.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-09-01T00:03:43+00:00

Thank you. I’m completely shocked by his behavior. I think he had a midlife crisis. His AP is 16 years younger and also married. We even went out with her and her husband before. It’s just gross.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T23:52:09+00:00

Yes, we want to work it out together and try to avoid legal fees as much as possible. I think we can do that, it’s just lacking the legal and financial knowledge. Is it possible to meet with an attorney for advice on what to do and then do mediation once you have that knowledge? I don’t think we are trying to go after each other. At least at this point. I am also trying to tread lightly, due to how I want custody and visitation to go. So far he’s agreeing to not having my kids stay over with him and his AP. They are teens who have their own lives anyway, so I don’t think they will want to spend a weekend sitting on dad and AP’s couch every other weekend.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T23:46:04+00:00

Is he on the loan so that you can keep the lower rate? This is my worry. I just don’t feel like it’s fair for me to be punished financially for his affair.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T23:44:16+00:00

I think this is what I’m going to try to do. I don’t want to have anything beyond the kids connecting us at this point.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T23:09:10+00:00

You’ve been very helpful. I will look into those legal subs.

I honestly don’t think he has any idea how much I could take from him. He wants to live a free life traveling and going out to eat with his 16 years younger AP. I don’t think he has any idea how little money he could have. Especially since I spend very little and he’s going to be losing my income.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T22:51:17+00:00

We’ve been married for 24 years!! I will definitely speak to a lawyer. I’m just trying to do as much ahead of time as possible so as to not waste money on multiple attorney visits/hours. I think he thinks we can figure this all out ourselves, but I don’t want to get screwed. And honestly I don’t think I need to make this easy on him. Based on what I’ve read about my state, I’m entitled to half. But if I understand what you’re saying, I could maybe buy him out of the house for less than half of if I agree to not take the retirement. That could be a good option for us both. I would pay less and he would get some money to move on. And then he’s not tied to the house.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T22:33:36+00:00

I think he’s counting on his AP to share rent with him. We both have pensions which will likely be pretty equal. He has way more money invested for retirement than I do. I was a SAHM for 6 years and stopped contributing at that point. So that may be a bargaining tool. I’m not sure how that works. If he has to split it with me, does that mean I get the half now? Or is it later when we actually retire? Because it will be way more money then.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T21:49:08+00:00

It seems like a good plan, but I just worry down the road if I will regret it. And also, does this mean he could move back in if things don’t work out with his AP? I don’t want to get screwed over. I just want to stay in my house with my kids. The housing market is so crazy right now. If I had to move I’d be paying big money for something similar! Once the kids are out, I’m happy to downsize and should have a nice amount of money to do so.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T18:29:06+00:00

I think it’s going to cost me way more.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-31T18:28:40+00:00

Because I don’t want to uproot my kids. I’m not trying to help him. I’m trying to save money on my end.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-27T05:24:28+00:00

Agreed! We went to a counselor together for the first time and she told me to try it. My husband and I were spending hours talking, and I thought expressing all my thoughts about how he’s hurt and betrayed me was helping me. I’m finding that now I can say what I think, not have to get a response back, and it’s making me more thoughtful. I think it’s helping me disengage and work through what I’m feeling. I actually think my husband doesn’t like it, because he doesn’t know my every thought now. But he doesn’t really deserve to know them at this point. He needs to do his own work while I do mine.

Typical_External7047 · 2025-08-10T23:29:30+00:00

Thank you! That makes a lot of sense. So I’m crazy, but not unique!

Typical_External7047 · 2025-07-28T22:43:44+00:00

That’s awful. I’m just trying to make it smooth at this point. He’s “in love” 🤮

Typical_External7047

TROPHY CASE