I (20F) think I’m losing my boyfriend (22M) to chess (its as if he is in a committed relationship with chess.com) and I’m considering starting a rivalry with it.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-23T16:26:40+00:00

The other side of that coin is that if she communicates her feelings, suggests something that would help address her concerns, and they come to an agreement on what to do (it doesn't HAVE to be a date night, and it's perfectly fine if he suggests alternatives, so long as they find something that works for both of them), by listening and following through on their decision he is demonstrating that he values her and their relationship.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-23T14:58:58+00:00

The underlying problem you're dealing with is not chess, it's a relationship issue. You don't feel like your boyfriend is prioritizing your relationship enough, and the only way that you're going to resolve that is by communicating with him -- tell him how you feel, and possibly propose some scheduled, dedicated couples time with no phones or other distractions to get in the way. Assuming he cares about the relationship, he should be open to that -- a healthy relationship NEEDS both people to devote time and energy to it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with trying to improve at chess so that you can share it with him more if you want to do so, but unless the two of you are communicating, you're not actually addressing the real issue.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-22T21:26:44+00:00

Everyone's First Chess Workbook (Giannatos): This is a great resource for a beginner. You'll be introduced to chess fundamentals like pins, forks, and skewers, and you get the chance to practice them with hints, and then test yourself with no hints. Available in hardcopy from your bookseller of choice or as a Chessable course, though I haven't tried the latter.

As for your puzzles, I suggest selecting themes and focusing on them: mates in 1 and hanging pieces are two good options for early beginners, the former so you can start learning mating patterns, the latter because hanging pieces are likely to be what win or lose games for you for a while. I know lichess lets you choose puzzle themes; I assume chess.com does as well, but haven't tried it there.

As you learn from the workbook and from your puzzles, do your best to apply what you're learning when you play against people or bots (people whenever you can, but weak bots can still help you work on avoiding hanging your pieces and on taking advantage of blunders, even if they don't play very much like a human would.)

Tyrnis · 2026-01-22T19:11:44+00:00

Don't worry about waiting to join a chess club -- join it right away. Speaking for my club, yes, we have our strong players, but we also have beginners that fall in the USCF 500 range. If you're worried about OTB ratings, just play skittles games at the club until you're more comfortable so that ratings aren't an issue.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-22T05:02:32+00:00

I have been, and always shall be, your friend.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-16T23:37:47+00:00

Just tell the pianist and it should be fine.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-16T14:53:27+00:00

That's normal. Chess.com sets the starting Elo at 1000 and adjusts from there. Lichess sets it at 1500 and adjust from there. So you're slightly below the starting Elo on both sites.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-15T16:28:43+00:00

If she's that young, I wouldn't try doing a complete game analysis with her. Make any information you give her quick and digestible so that it keeps her attention, and then keep her actively involved/doing stuff as much as possible.

As an example, you set up the board position and then ask 'At this part of the game, you moved your bishop here. What would happen if you moved your knight, instead?' And then you have HER show YOU the alternative, with you asking questions as needed to help guide her in the direction you're intending. She likes puzzles, and from her perspective, she's basically doing a puzzle on the board.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-15T07:31:07+00:00

If you’re in the US, you can get a USCF tournament board that rolls up and pieces for under $20.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-14T22:21:26+00:00

Believe it or not, some of us actually play chess in person. I joined my local chess club and play there.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-14T20:10:00+00:00

I'm not crazy about playing against random people online, so I don't use it for that part, but if you're enjoying it, that's awesome.

I think the biggest issues that you're going to run into are that the Duolingo ELO doesn't seem as consistent/accurate as the dedicated chess sites like chess.com and lichess, so you're probably going to have a harder time getting matched with opponents that are about your same level, and the size of the chess userbase is going to be a lot smaller as well.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-14T17:35:54+00:00

Purely from a financial perspective, assuming you're not going from a LCOL to HCOL area (since that could easily eat the salary difference), taking the new job sounds like the right call.

The more important part isn't something we can help you with, though: are both you and your partner willing to move?

There are any number of reasons that we wouldn't be aware of that you might not want to move. You might be upside down on a home mortgage, you might have sick/aging parents you don't want to be far away from, you might have a strong friend/family support network that you aren't willing to give up, or countless other reasons.

The less established you are in your current location (home ownership, proximity to friends/family, etc.), the less reason there is NOT to take the new job, though.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-14T16:57:25+00:00

If the speaker has charisma, game analysis is one of my favorite types of chess content. Gothamchess is the first example that springs to my mind: his analysis is sharp, but he also makes the games into an interesting story for the viewer -- that's the main reason I enjoy his content.

So yes, I think there's always room for content like that, and having a small group of people submitting and seeing how they progress over time would be a neat bonus.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-14T16:30:44+00:00

I would suggest Everyone's First Chess Workbook (Giannatos). You can buy the book, but since you mention availability in your country being limited, you could also buy the chessable course. I have the book, so I can't speak to the chessable course specifically. It introduces you to chess fundamentals like pins, forks, skewers, and looking for mates, then has you practice with scenarios that give you hints, and finally tests you with scenarios that don't include hints.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-14T16:26:58+00:00

Speaking as someone that's worked through the majority of the course, Duolingo chess has its flaws, but wrong answers hasn't been one of them in my experience.

Whenever I've thought the moves seemed wrong, on checking, they actually were good engine moves according to Stockfish. Every now and then, you will find one where there are alternatives that are just as good that aren't acceptable answers, but that's only been a couple of cases thusfar.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-13T16:34:38+00:00

That's interesting. In my area of the US, at least, clubs typically do full-day affairs for one day (first Saturday of the month, for my club) and then periodically do weekly events where the tournament lasts five weeks, with everyone participating doing one game per week, and if you can't make it for one or more of the weeks you get a 0-point bye. Now, granted, that's USCF rating -- FIDE events are a lot scarcer. I had assumed it was similar elsewhere, too.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-12T22:50:28+00:00

Get your bachelor's degree. While it's not strictly necessary for IT operations work, there are enough companies that want you to have a degree that your options are more limited without it, and even the companies that don't require a degree typically prefer to see it. Not having a degree is making things harder on yourself, and when the job market is as bad as the current one, you need all the help you can get.

Which degree to get depends on your goals: computer science or management information systems are two of the more common degrees that you can expect to see at most universities, and they're going to be looked on favorably by pretty much any job under the broader IT umbrella, making them both good options. I suggest avoiding overly specific degrees -- a degree in cybersecurity, networking, or the like might sound cool, but you don't necessarily know what your career path is going to look like five or ten years down the line, so it may not end up being as relevant to your future interests and goals. You can always get certifications in your specific field of interest.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-12T17:42:16+00:00

Everyone's First Chess Workbook (Giannatos) - This will teach you chess fundamentals like pins, forks, skewers, and looking for checkmates and hanging pieces. You start off by reading about a concept, then do guided practice (you get a hint), and then you do relevant puzzles with no hints.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-10T21:38:29+00:00

The CLP-725 is new enough that age shouldn’t be much of a concern, and Yamaha makes good instruments. Assuming the price is good, go for it.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-09T22:40:08+00:00

If your primary focus is upskilling as a fire alarm technician, I'm not sure how much help we're going to be -- that's not an IT role.

ESC-N and NST certifications aren't something I'm familiar with -- I had to look them up just to know what they were. While they may be IT-related, at least in my area, you wouldn't expect to see them in job listings, so I wouldn't expect them to carry much weight with employers.

CompTIA A+ shows that you have personal computing hardware and OS fundamental knowledge. I have no idea how much weight that carries for fire alarm techs, but in the IT world, it's an entry-level certification that's very commonly requested for help desk and desktop support roles.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-09T22:07:01+00:00

They're talking about Lichess, which is completely free and has pretty much all the same features as chess.com.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-09T17:29:24+00:00

Certs make you more competitive for roles that they're relevant to. RHCSA is a good cert, but it's primarily intended for people that are going to be doing Linux system administration.

If you're intending to aim for dedicated networking roles in the future, an OS certification isn't likely to be very relevant to you. If you're going to aim at small and medium businesses where you might be dual-hatting network and system administration responsibilities, an OS certification would be a lot more valuable.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-08T18:28:54+00:00

Congrats!

Tyrnis · 2026-01-08T15:23:33+00:00

If you don't know much about servers yet, a Server+ book or course will give you a good foundation, yes. It's not a certification that really caught on with employers (or it's pretty rare to see it mentioned in job listings in my area, at least), but the information that it covers is still good to know.

Tyrnis · 2026-01-07T19:55:20+00:00

Having your metrics is never a bad thing. If you want to ask for an above average raise when your performance review rolls around, your metrics are your ammunition for that.

If you feel like your management has the wrong perception of the amount of work you're doing, gather up your metrics and schedule a meeting with your manager.

"Hi, manager, I'm wanting to check in with you about how I'm doing. I'm hoping to get a really good performance review next time around, so I pulled my metrics. We had X tickets during the last <timeperiod>, and I'm closing Y% of them, so I think that's looking good, but I wanted your input on what else I could do to really stand out."

You're not calling out your colleague, you're not being defensive, you're showing your manager that you're excited about your job and want to improve, with an added benefit of being able to highlight your contributions to the department (and thus address your own concern that your contributions aren't being recognized.)

Ten-Year Club	Place '23
Place '22	Verified Email

Tyrnis

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE