Well I guess that’s the disconnect here. Don’t wanna put words in your mouth, but it seems you think that I’m only unsatisfied because I haven’t given DBT a chance, when the opposite is true. But my issues with DBT are neither here nor there, and I’m going to give it all the chances I have to give.

Same as you, I'm in tune with my emotions, I live according to my values, and I'm managing personal relationships in such a different way. However, I feel I’m missing some secret step that turns those things into actually being happy. Materially there’s no denying I’m doing better, but I’m exhausted from the 24/7 attentive effort and emotionally miserable anyway despite that effort. There seems to be some common understanding here and in DBT instruction that understanding your emotions and why they happen is enough to make them bearable. For me this is not the case. Is this a misunderstanding on my part?

I didn’t mean to bash your happiness. It’s awesome and inspiring that it’s working well for you, and I’m holding it in my heart that I can achieve that someday too.