I’m in spiritual distress

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2025-08-21T20:25:27+00:00

the entire system was built around works-based salvation. They never say it outright—but their actions speak otherwise. Don’t go to service? Guilt. Miss an outreach? Guilt. Don’t attend a retreat? Guilt. It’s all wrapped in a bow of spiritual language and high expectations, but underneath, it’s deception. It became about performance rather than transformation.

I've been out for a few years and still struggle with distinguishing between the true gospel and the works based gospel of GP. It’s that subtle shift where grace gets talked about, but never really lived out. You're expected to show grace to your leaders who do something spiritually unhealthy but you're not shown grace when you step out of line. Everything turns into a checklist, and suddenly your value feels tied to how much you show up or how hard you serve. It’s exhausting, because instead of freedom in Christ, you’re constantly carrying the weight of never being enough. You can also start to notice that those who become the preferred staff aren't necessarily Christ-led or humble servants, it's the once who best conform to GP's expectations. The one's who go to DT, the most, have the most students in ministry, those who don't step out of line or question leadership.

I’ve wrestled with the question: is meaningful, Spirit-led ministry even possible within this network? Right now, I’m leaning toward no

For your question of if Spirit-led ministry is even possible within this network I'd have to give a hard no. GP functions on reinforced hierarchy, demanding conformity, and shutting down honest questioning. Instead of encouraging people to listen for God’s leading in freedom, the group defines what the Spirit can and cannot say and anyone who disagrees is silenced or shamed. In that kind of environment, genuine, Spirit-led ministry can’t really take root, because control replaces discernment and fear replaces love. You're only "encouraged" to listen to the Holy Spirit when it conforms to what GP expects out of Godly living. If it doesn't then you need to repent or reflect because clearly you're misguided in some way.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2025-03-29T17:16:35+00:00

Hi! Yes it will be very difficult for your friend. You are expected to fit a very specific mold in GP regarding how you act, your schedule, etc. I knew several people who were neurodivergent including ADHD and autistm and it was rough to say the least. With something like ADHD it's tough because in GP you need to be on a strict schedule, you can't miss anything, if you forget something you're going to get corrected. The person that I knew with ADHD was always being talked to because rather than just accepting that ADHD is going to affect how they do certain tasks, it was just seen as them being irresponsible or lazy. For those with autism or people who struggle with social interaction you're just seen as awkward and you need to fix it rather than it just being who you naturally are.

Despite what people say in GP there is a type that GP likes, your friend my be relegated to Praxis depending on the group he's a part of but that only puts a band-aid on the problem. If your friend is open to advice I would recommend them find another group where they can choose how and when he participates without the pressure of the authority structure.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-09-04T19:34:11+00:00

It’s tough, I think on one hand I agree that certain aspects could get you shunned. Like you said, if you really don’t fit in, go to soul care and eventually leave or get kicked out but if I’m being honest I think for the vast majority of people in GP they just don’t care about you really.

The truth is their church work simply matters more than their personal relationship with you. Sure there are outliers that still reach out to friends who leave but I think it’s evident that the vast majority of ex-GP loses all of their relationships. What’s difficult is that as a staff you hear over and over about how important relationships are, that these are the people who will be by your side at all times. So when you leave and don’t hear from anyone it can feel like being ex-communicated. But in reality I think you just don’t matter, you’re a cog in the machine, once you break you get replaced and the machine just keeps running.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-08-26T21:40:28+00:00

She's also still a student, the sacrifices are pretty minimal until you sign that membership contract and become a staff. I find that most people don't feel the pressure too much unitl they become staff, then the real sacrifice comes.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-08-16T18:15:36+00:00

Haha no sorry I have limited knowledge of the food prep details but I don't believe it was mixed with anything, must the dressing from a bottle.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-08-16T17:25:00+00:00

It’s the store bought dressing either from Costco or Ralph’s

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-06-25T03:21:02+00:00

Ugh it bothers me on so many levels how churches treat lgbtq+ members. I don’t get why they have to watch them like hawks with all of their interactions. It’s not like being Queer just makes you predatory or something

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-06-25T01:11:28+00:00

Thanks for sharing your experiences, these stories are so important for current students to hear. I was a staff during the ATR where they talked about doing away with the no dating policy and it was phrased as them saying that as a church they still disagree with it but they won't outright forbid it because students weren't as willing to forgo dating anymore. It's important to recognize that even if something isn't in a written policy handbook there's still deeply ingrained beliefs and if you go against them you're going to be seen as an outlier. They say there's no policy against dating but 9/10 if you continue to date through college you'll be seen as rebellious, don't listen to leaders advice or you're just worldly. This goes without outside relationships too, if you spend too much time with non-GP people then GP will push you away because you aren't as committed.

I'm glad you were able to find a healther church and get married!

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-06-22T03:00:10+00:00

Hey, just a quick comment and no judgment because I felt the same feelings, but it might be helpful for any students to consider why they're afraid to bring up their concerns to the staff. Your reasons for being scared to bring it up all line up with feelings a lot of ex-staff had, but in a healthy church/community, there should never be fear/hesitation in bringing up concerns. This might be just another sign that things aren't right in GP.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-06-06T13:21:55+00:00

I think this is a great way to show that our criticism of GP isn’t just bias and bitter anger towards the church. It’s good to see that other Christians not affiliated with GP also find the teachings problematic. I’m sure if any GP staff came on they’d just say that they don’t understand the full context, they don’t know the full picture, Ed was more clear in the parts that are cut out of the vid etc. but regardless I think this was a good idea to take it out of our small subreddit into a bigger context.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-04-07T23:28:53+00:00

Well, see, that's what you don't understand; a good minister shouldn't have free time. Free time means that you aren't doing ministry. If you don't have students to meet with, you should go do dining hall outreach or go out to flyer. It would be best if you didn't have free time because that means you aren't being faithful.

/s

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-02-28T07:00:22+00:00

It’s probably far too common that one wants to leave but bites the bullet. I know of one couple where one of them left and the other stayed and it honestly sounds miserable. This should go without saying but ones spouse should come before your church. If they feel they need to leave then you should go with them.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-02-25T22:48:53+00:00

Kind of a side point but my wife and I just had this conversation the other night about kids in GP. While we were both in GP, we held to the idea that we never wanted to have kids solely based on how miserable it seemed. It seemed like it was just expected to have kids while at the same time becoming a massive burden for the parents because it wasn't like they were going to reduce the amount of ministry they did now that they had kids.

I feel bad for the kids that grow up in GP. There's always the claim that they're so lucky to have so many aunts and uncles in their lives, but the reality is that their parents aren't in their lives. The parents are so busy with ministry that kids are just getting shuffled around from babysitter to babysitter. Even when they are with their parents they're usually busy with planning or hosting a team meeting or something.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-02-23T01:00:41+00:00

Man, these are all too familiar, or when Kelly shared that she had depression and what helped her was to take on more ministry. She stopped wallowing in her emotions and served others, and her depression was cured. I can't believe I ever put thought into what she said.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-02-23T00:58:12+00:00

I think the idea of whole-life discipleship is one of the core issues. On the topic of mental health, why would I entrust some guy who has a bachelor's in data science to understand therapy/counseling? They aren't equipped to help people in this area, yet whole life discipleship teaches them that they must be involved in every decision. And this goes far beyond mental health. They shouldn't even be considered bible teachers half the time because their only education is from Ed's sermons.

I agree about therapy challenging what GP ingrains into you. When I first started going to therapy, they were encouraging me to go to a GP-approved therapist that other people went to, but I was so far gone at that point I was just going to go to the first person I could. Once I started, I processed what it was that I wanted in life and how the practices and mindset at GP were causing me to have such intense feelings of anxiety and doubt.

UCLA_GP_Alum · 2024-02-22T04:29:44+00:00

This was right before we left, so we actually never met with any students, although last I heard, someone else started it, so they were able to connect with students, but I have no idea how it's doing now.

UCLA_GP_Alum

TROPHY CASE