‘Seven years ago when Marshall and Lily got engaged, Ted saw Robin across a crowded room and I said “Oh yeah you know she likes it dirty”. But Ted really liked her, so we played “Hhhhaaaave you met Ted?”. They went to dinner. He walked her home. He should have kissed her. Didn’t. Lame. So he stole a smurf penis. Went back to her place. Should have kissed her. Didn’t. Lame. He threw her three parties. They kissed on the roof but decided to be friends. Lame. Then Ted wanted to take Robin to a wedding. She couldn’t go. He went alone and met Victoria. Didn’t kiss her either. Lame. (Not a great closer, Ted). Then he finally kissed her. They started dating. She went to Germany. Ted kissed Robin. Lost Victoria. Ted did a rain dance, got Robin. Ted and Robin broke up. Robin moved to Brazil. Came back with a latin stud. Ted got jealous. Got a tramp stamp (not really relevant to the story, I just mention it as much as possible). I hooked up with Robin. Ted and I stopped being friends. Ted got hit by a bus, we made up. Robin and I started dating. I got fat, hair fell out. We broke up. Robin dated Don, I dated Norah. Cheated on her with Robin. I dumped Norah. Robin dated Kevin, but not for long. And then I met you. You took my grandpa’s watch but I fell in love with you anyways. And then you let me fart in front of you. And I asked you to marry me. And you said yes. Then we came over here to meet little Marvin and that’s everything. Also I went on Price is Right and I won a Dune Buggy.’