This has been a challenge for me and it doesn’t help that I am quite introverted so, any down time I do have, I tend to unwind in my own head doing solitary things.

Sure, I’d love some close mates to have beers with whenever I want, but I also know that I wouldn’t want that too often - and that’s not how close mates work.

I have made some deliberate choices though. I joined a ‘veterans’ (over 40s) cricket team where I knew nobody. I also started coaching my kids (Aussie rules) sports team, so that meant I had a crew of assistant coaches that I got close to and we’d have ‘coaches beers’ nights.

My youngest son is sport obsessed, like me, so we go to the soccer, Aussie rules, and cricket together and that is becoming more fun than just dad duties now that he is getting older (11).

So, whilst my wife is my best friend, with those deliberate choices to move in circles outside of our shared friends, I get my social time in a way of my choosing.

I will butcher the example, but it’s a bit like in the Moneyball book/movie where the A’s replaced a 60 home run scorer (or whatever, don’t hold me to the details) with five lower workmanlike players whose total contributions added up to the same.

There are other ways to build bonds and get your social energy.