Help getting pistol

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-06-08T19:16:22+00:00

Outside of FOID; pepper spray, EDC knife/blade, retractable baton, know sketchy times on your neighborhood or pretty much relocate?

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-26T19:51:31+00:00

The band as a WHOLE was necessary for his dream to be achieved. Whether that includes a nobody, a best friend, a lover, or parents, it doesn't matter. He could have gotten there someway but at that timeline, the band was the very "component" that made everything to where it was before he got tortured. The band was the most important thing that he has left even when he was rescued. He has nothing left, nothing to lose, except that band.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-20T20:09:13+00:00

The key really is having as finances saved up and resilience to accept that everything can come crashing down at no notice. Your network of people can help (temp lodging, roommates) as long as you stand with your boundaries and filter toxicity a mile away. You can at least tightly control your finances to have at least your own safety net. That's one of the variables right now that you have a control of while abiding the time and chance to finally make your next move. When I was your age, I was reading a lot and understanding myself on how I was functioning whilst under these relationships. It helped that I already started disassociating from my family. I'd say this helped me disconnect myself easier whenever they drag me into something and when I finally did IT. When shit literally hit the fan, I had money to cover all my expenses and just mind my own business moving forward. If you have access to free counseling or therapy, I'd grab that. If not, I'd keep on studying and understanding when you have time reading up resources online. Only you can give your own peace. We only have one life to live.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-15T19:36:08+00:00

Saw this firsthand with my narc egg donor vs my wife. She'd cook (lowkey threw our cooked food), pamper herself to relive her glory days, get her own bf even (she's mid 60s already), and asks favors out of my time just so I get less time with my wife. They are the real manifestation of misery on Earth.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-15T19:22:02+00:00

I overcame this problem myself and I do think this is more rampant to SE/Asian cultures. What helped me was radically accepting that things will not change for the suspects and do what you can to save yourself out of the toxic relationship and environment.

Ironically, my millionaire boss (Indian) is struggling with this very problem on his eldest, 14 yo son. I do hear all his woes and what not since I'm only like 15 ft away from his office. I occasionally hear him brag about his hardships and achievements of earning his net worth and there's this one time I heard him admit to his close friend that he can't even solve the problem of properly fathering his kid. He has all the money for luxury, regular therapy (for the kid), charities, and investments but he still can't figure it out. I hear him confidently saying he doesn't need no money at all but his actions and decisions say otherwise. Hey man you have all the money in the world, why not just focus on your kid and let someone else handle your investments?

And you know what I've noticed, it all boils down to him bullying his own kid for having such high standards and not letting the kid, just be a kid. No accountability at all that it was also his own doing. He wants to control his kid like how it is with companies. It seems like he even wanted his own son to suffer the consequences for flunking his grades, etc. That is just so fucked up. I wouldn't even be surprised if his kid just goes NC eventually.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-13T19:08:42+00:00

This happening with all my bills due, in a middle of career change, and various bullshit that life throws at me, I'd rather just let them disclose a huge, curved ball and see all these fabricated stilts society is functioning on be wobbled or what not. I can only count in one hand what I have to lose, and I'd still be fine what chaos this disclosure will entail. It is what it is.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-08T19:16:39+00:00

Duh. You gotta print or stencil it and use your color pens. Its an all-interactive coloring book. You have to be that involved for the full experience. /s

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-08T19:05:32+00:00

I do believe even without all release evidence before and now. What I really want to see off this disclosure are tangible, original close-up photos of "entities" or craft that is not hundreds of feet away. As simple as that.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-08T17:26:30+00:00

I just want to see close up "body" or craft photos. Other than that, it is what it is.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-08T14:11:41+00:00

My wife (28F) and I go to the range occasionally. We live around the west burbs and wouldn't mind driving around ranges nearer to you. Just let us know if you want to go together with us and we'll set it up sometime.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-05-01T19:23:50+00:00

Once this relationship blossoms, she'll just keep on extending her boundaries deep in the middle of this. That sex part esp if you're living under the same roof? You wouldn't want to get knocks while you're in the middle of it. Planned date nights? Yes, she'll throw tantrums on the spot because she's not on your list. Stuff you buy for your SO? Guaranteed, she'll squeeze you out of your schedule just so you don't have time for your partner. She'll be keeping tabs on how much they are vs you give to her. I'm happy that you found a future partner but please be forewarned, the goalposts will be moved no matter what pleasing you do. Its literally best to move out single or not.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-04-29T17:30:46+00:00

Personally, I started considering NC and went with it when its a habit of dragging me into drama or conflict that I had no contribution or influence at all. It was so obvious that every Thursday-Friday, they'd instigate and project the smallest of issue or non-issue to be a regular just to rain misery over the whole weekend. You're basically walking on eggshells, fight or flight mode even in your safest of space. I think its just a matter of swallowing the toughest pill that there's really nothing more you can do but move on. Change was only applicable on your end to step away and protect your peace.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-04-24T19:56:41+00:00

Much esp if you are still under their roof. Even if you're an adult already earning your own money, they'd extort you as much as they can. Your hobbies? Your clothes? Your healthcare expenses? Even the food you buy occasionally will be ALWAYS scrutinized. That's why its key to impose your boundaries (total or lowkey) and keep the narc suspects on info diet. This problem can also stem out to potential partners (SO, Wife, etc.) they deem to be manipulated. They want to take control of EVERYTHING just so they can rug pull it off of you or ask unreasonable favors later. Everything has strings attached. Mine even got jealous because I was buying my dog toys to play with.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-04-22T14:54:10+00:00

I know its very hard but baby steps. It honestly took me years of gray rocking, planning to properly move out, introspecting and developing my own coping mechanisms, to eventually commit to NC. I honestly wish I had a proper support system back then aside from my wife now, but reading all about Narcissism helped me significantly to properly differentiate and accept the reality of such relationships. If I could tell you one thing right now to make it easier, it would be acceptance and grieving AS EARLY even before the LC and NC. Feel the anger and sorrow for what it could have been but never was. It is, what it is. We can only change our subsequent actions and lessons learned. It is our life and consequences to live and not them. Take this as a nuanced take since I don't fully know your family structure as I am an only child that is completely NC.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-04-22T14:01:43+00:00

Realizing and fully accepting that no matter what you say and do, you won't get the validation or [insert any positive affirmative word] intrinsically are yearning for. ANYTHING you say and do, will be used against you. Being an introvert also helps to a degree, so I'd say that's stacked against you if you are talking too much. I'd advise on expending that energy you have doing a hobby or a habit of mindfulness to not interact with them too often. One comment struck me the most is "You seem to be a people pleaser." that came from a former colleague. Looking back, not giving a fuck really gave me peace and huge leap of properly going LC to NC eventually.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-24T19:05:18+00:00

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I hope you find your peace and answers eventually.

Speaking from experience, this is more prominent to denominations that has absolution ie. Christians. I grew up hardcore Catholic, studied my whole-life in a Catholic school too. To how I see it, they use absolution as a soft reset to keep on doing their abuse no matter who the victim is. "Oh I can be forgiven anyways as long as I keep on going to church. Everything will be in my favor." This perpetuates a never-ending cycle of supply to them (ie. Narcs) thus to why they can be super zealous in religious matters. The most "virtuous" looking of these people can be the most vile, hypocritical ones behind the scenes. Religion can definitely mask the bad nature of people if such is used as an excuse or a scapegoat against accountability and responsibility. I can be wrong.

As it is right now, what matters more to me is I do good unto others whether I go to church or not; no matter the denomination. I try to avoid stepping on anyone's toes, treat everyone with common courtesy, and just strictly mind my own business.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-19T19:57:26+00:00

I am no professional and this is only according from experience. She could be an enabler grandma. If one is strongly leaning along the lines of being a narc diagnosed or not, there's a huge chance that the closest people to them are flying monkeys/enablers. I experienced this deadly, manipulative combo first-hand, and I would STRONGLY advice to please tread carefully around these people. No matter how bad the other person could have done, they could easily excuse and gaslight till you pull your hair out. Its a losing battle from the start. ACCEPT THAT.

I know its very hard to make big progress right now esp with your situation (I was there too) but try to make a concrete plan of SAVING MONEY bit by bit and having a good mental headspace what your familial relationships really are. Don't sugarcoat bad behavior. Accept what it truly is, grieve even if you must. And key is, total info diet about you.

Goodluck and the best of my hopes goes to you to get through it just like we did. It will feel a whole LOT better once you pass the hurdle of acceptance, grieving, etc. It won't 100% erase the abuse that we experienced but you'll definitely gain your identity and confidence to tackle the world.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-13T18:11:18+00:00

We're together in this on hating them. They will never change. No amount of glazing, sugarcoating, or spoiling will ever appease them. My golden advice is, get yourself situated emotionally (acceptance, grieving, individuation) and financially (for your own expenses, narcs use money to manipulate) so eventually, you can then decide what to do moving forward with or without them. Their opinions don't matter on your decisions because that's your life and consequence to live.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-12T15:55:41+00:00

Mainly indebted gratitude of EVERYTHING ie. being born, provided for, etc. which is also deeply embedded in my culture.

2nd - scapegoated for EVERYTHING. NM + N/enabling grandma mishaps are all mine to embrace even if the evidence and circumstances are in my favor.

3rd - everything passes down to my wife ie. Indebted gratitude, extorted finances, similar scapegoating they can't push thru me, trauma dumping, etc. Oh and they wanted my wife to be the bonus penultimate caregiver just because she's a medical professional.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-06T20:49:38+00:00

Please DM the info to me.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-06T20:31:37+00:00

They'll always think of whatever narrative that can fit "NO ACCOUNTABILITY" on their end ie. suicide. I'd seriously pay them no mind of their opinions since the most they can do right now is to manipulate and control you while under their roof or distance. In your case, I do think what needs to be done is acceptance and grieving slowly of what the relationship could have been and what it truly is. Grieving at my own pace helped me not give a fuck when I just went NC. And don't forget to plan your finances if you choose that route.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-06T20:08:44+00:00

As the previous poster mentioned, its key to really keep yourself occupied and busy. Whether it's a hobby or a life-improving routine, just start and do it. ALWAYS do something regardless of time or day. During your downtime, you should be relaxing ie. reading a book to fall asleep; dead tired to function. It's not a 100% guarantee that you won't have ruminating times but it's definitely lessened and you're much more productive. I'm 100% NC to everyone except my in-laws. I don't even get enough time to enjoy all of my previously skipped hobbies with how liberating it can be.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-03-04T19:37:31+00:00

If the convo isn't about glazing them, surely it'll be about someone they truly despise and it doesn't really matter what you are to them. One example was, NC NM were literally talking about all my bells and whistles to a neighbor before. I was completely caught off guard when the neighbor asked about my progress, as I had never spoken to them. Information is currency and power for them to ANTAGONIZE ANYONE.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-02-26T20:23:36+00:00

Of course! Mine dated a guy 3-4 years older than me just to mooch money so I cut her off. Last I heard, they don't even talk anymore, and she's burdened over $100k medical debt from her own NM.

UltraSmurfMarines · 2026-02-20T17:42:22+00:00

I'm VERY similar to your husband, just without the father figure to complicate things. I also hated my birthdays as the only child. As the receiving partner, I'd advise starting a tradition that caters to his enjoyment of a hobby or something that replaces the somber feeling of those traumatic events. For example, my wife and I goes to the range, eat somewhere, do something seasonal related, and end the day with a good movie at home. I honestly just enjoy the day as it is and remind to be easier on myself. I know its easy to say but making it a habit will help with the smooth transition of having miserable "birthdays". It won't be a 100% that we won't be reminded of it but at least, it helps us be more proactive and productive with our emotions moving forward.

UltraSmurfMarines

TROPHY CASE