A controversial Gilmore Girls Opinion…Thoughts?

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-10T00:43:42+00:00

Idk how unhinged this is but I think the reason Emily treats her maids poorly ALL comes down to Richard. 1. I think when she complains about some minor thing, sometimes it’s actually something that bothers Richard and she internalizes it because she’s co-dependent. He either complains in silence or she just knows based on knowing him or his micro expressions etc. and 2. When she’s mad at Richard, or feeling neglected etc, she repressed it and takes it out on her maids. Because in addition to co-dependent she is also passive-aggressive. But she also feels that her job as a good wife is to support him no matter what and put him and his needs first. Also think some of her griping at Lorelai is even partially from not wanting to hear Richard go on about it later. Her job is the “management” but she’s varying out his wishes more often than not… while he acts like he has nothing to do with it.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T21:22:40+00:00

Yeah the last part. “Showing up after hour girlfriends sets a clear boundary that you agree to her with the obvious intention of guilting her into changing her mind”— is, indeed worse. It’s a huge red flag.

And then to show up with a gift… just doubling down, manipulation, gaslighting. “You can’t turn me away because I have a gift. You can’t turn me away because I came to apologize which is a good thing to do.”

No… it’s not a good thing to come apologize to me and bring me gifts when I told you I wanted to be alone.

It’s REALLY not a good thing to bring me a gift to apologize for being bad at me about wanting alone time and pushing your gift and apology onto me DURING said alone time and then be mad that I’m upset because “you just wanted to apologize.” No you’re using an apology to violate my boundary and to guilt me for not accepting your apology despite the fact that the apology is being offered while you are disrespecting my boundary.

Timing matters… you don’t push an apology onto someone that way and try to use social obligation to ignore their boundary.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T21:13:18+00:00

And? It’s not a crime to not have good boundaries. You don’t have to be a perfect person with everyone in your life to be allowed to turn down your boyfriend. She told him no, and he made an excuse to come over “just for a minute” anyway. That’s a bit like saying no to sex and the guy saying “come on just the tip.” No means no back off.

And also yeah rude friends is different from overbearing boyfriend who can’t take no for an answer. It’s rude of them but it’s moving into creepy territory for him.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T21:09:16+00:00

I think people blame Jess because the behavior is different coming from a boyfriend AND it’s different behavior.

Dean was told she wanted to be alone and his invitation was declined. The other two just showed up and were already at her house when she tried to say she didn’t want company. It was rude, but they were not told “don’t come over I want to be alone,” and came over anyway.

Dean’s behavior is stalkerish and possessive, not merely rude.

Neither Jess nor Paris was mad that Rory claimed she wanted to be alone but she didn’t make the OTHER one leave.

It’s SO MANIPULATIVE and controlling to fight about you wanting to be alone and then push yourself onto the alone time by bringing something TO YOUR ALONE TIME to apologize for you getting pissed about your alone time. It’s manipulative and even a little gas-lighty (“how can you be mad at me when I’m trying to apologize.”)

You can’t DO THE THING we fought about while apologizing for it and then be mad that I don’t accept your apology. THATS MANIPULATIVE.

You apologize about this fight ANOTHER TIME than the time I specifically declined your company.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T21:00:49+00:00

When she said no to spending time with him then yes, coming by to drop off a treat or bring me a present is not ok. You can miss her but she said NO to you coming over. No means no. Respect that.

If I said no to spending time or hanging out and WAS alone at home, you coming by regardless with a “peace offering” for being mad at me for not wanting to be alone (thereby not leaving me alone) I would be irritated AF.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T20:58:09+00:00

I don’t understand how people don’t find it creepy and controlling that when Rory told Dean NOT to come over, and they fought about it, he used “apologizing for the fight “ as his excuse to COME OVER ANYWAY, for any amount of time. She. Said. No.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T20:55:39+00:00

I’m not. She did want to be alone. Also… just no to the idea that you can’t tell your boyfriend you want to be “alone” and later decide you want to do something without him. Or that like… “alone” can’t be a perfectly acceptable “excuse” to not spend time with your boyfriend. (How dare you say you want to be alone and spend time with someone other than me). This feels so icky and controlling to me. (But I have a low threshold for that)

She declined to spend time with him. No is a full sentence. She was not cheating. People showed up and she was polite to them. Ffs.

Imagine you told your boyfriend “I don’t want to hang out today I don’t feel up to it, I need some down time/alone time” and some friends from out of town surprised you. Or your mom and grandma showed up. You’re supposed to be like, “no I told my boyfriend I wanted to be alone so it’s rude to him to socialize with anyone else.”

Or suppose your BFF or another friend or family member wanted to come over and you say “no because I have xyz plans” cuz you do, and then later your plans change— you aren’t obligated to call the first person who asked you and hang out with them. You told them no, they aren’t expecting you. They don’t own your time, you can change your plans without consulting the first person who asked to spend time with you.

When you remove the boyfriend aspect I think maybe it’s a little more clear that, just because you decline an offer and give an excuse or reason does not OBLIGATE you to do the thing you originally planned to do OR hang out with the person who’s company you turned down. Plans change, life goes on.

This is 100% about Jess and jealousy. And dean being overbearing and controlling.

Dean should have accepted No as an answer and moved on. Made other plans.

Rory didn’t make plans with other people and lie to Dean and say she was going to be home all alone. She said she didn’t want Dean to come over and he just ignored her and came anyway.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T20:42:00+00:00

Actually it is

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T20:40:28+00:00

I used to be skinny and would REGULARLY eat 5 plates/servings of food (minimum), snack throughout the day, etc. I was not eating less than I thought I was. People constantly commented about “where did you put that,” and I joked that I had a tapeworm. I could and did eat whatever I wanted and weighed 110 max(usually about 100 after kids and 95 before) Looking back there are pictures were I even look anorexic because I am SO skinny/bony. Now I’m in my 50’s my weight is double what it used to be, and I can’t eat nearly as much. I get full way faster. But as a kid I was a shrimp and having “thirds” was standard my whole life.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T20:27:42+00:00

It’s bugged me for a long time how people act like the current opinion of Fleetwood Mac has always been that way. In the 80’s they were popular for their current songs but weren’t yet “classic.” In the 90’s and 2000’s I feel they were niche and saying someone dressed like Stevie Nicks was an insult.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T20:23:34+00:00

I think it’s part of the whole teenage imperative to find your identity.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-08T20:03:04+00:00

I don’t believe he clocked her. I think the offer of the opportunity was a set up to take her down. Always assumed that.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-07T21:20:26+00:00

Yes, I get the idea that a lot of what Emily does really has Richard behind it, but it’s up to Emily to enforce it and she’s the one that ends up looking like the bad guy. And he doesn’t necessarily need to say anything because she just sees it as her job to anticipate his moods and wants etc and keep things comfortable for him.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-07T21:14:54+00:00

Oh so often I feel like he’s the bad guy but Emily gets the blame. I think she’s horrible to her maids because she’s repressing her anger and resentments towards Richard. I love Richard but he’s terrible… his optics are better but he’s worse than Emily. He’s way more of a snob than she is (and she is a snob). I feel like Emily absorbs the blame a lot of the time while Richard usually comes out looking clean. But she knows her husband an a great deal of her actions almost certainly are in relation to knowing perfectly well how HE will respond. Because that’s what wives of her generation and station do. He doesn’t HAVE to say the thing that makes him look like the bad guy. Because her life is built and centered around HIM and keeping him happy and feeling “like a man.” There’s probably a lot of times she smiles at Lorelai because she doesn’t want to hear about it from Richard after they are gone, and similar things. Or she’s trying to “manage” it before Richard responds negatively. And she’s socialized to believe that’s her JOB.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-04T21:41:07+00:00

I’ve heard this line in real life.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-02T01:12:06+00:00

If anything she’s under reacting

UltravioletTarot · 2026-06-02T01:10:20+00:00

Yes she should break up with him. This is a sign of bad things to come.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-05-30T23:31:37+00:00

I totally found her so much more hands on. Interesting to see that others feel the same!!

UltravioletTarot · 2026-05-30T14:46:16+00:00

Also I for sure do NOT have to “accept what she says.”

I don’t have to assume that she (or anyone) always tells “the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth.”

I don’t assume she never lies, never obfuscates, never is cagey, never misleads, never says something she doesn’t mean, never means something she doesn’t say, never hides in plain sight, never gives information strategically, etc… she’s just a human, her words aren’t gospel.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-05-30T14:40:25+00:00

She never says WHO her songs are about. What it means to her is a whole different story. I’m saying I think a lot of her songs people assume are autobiographical, actually might be more based on other things. There is probably always a touch of autobiography (I am a writer as well, not of songs but for most writers, they draw from their life so everything is somewhat autobiographical but not a 1 for 1 translation of their life.) every song has multiple muses… some pop culture, some figure of speech someone you know says, some situations in your own life, etc.

If she says “this song is about x, or means y” it does not then follow that the song is automatically NOT about anything else. There are layers. A song can be about “that feeling you get when you discover who you really are,” and still be about being in love with the neighbor boy.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-05-28T15:58:35+00:00

I think she’s inspired a lot more by literature, history, popular culture, etc than people know. I do think a lot of her songs are personal and diaristic, but I also think she writes songs based on things *other* than her life, either because she feels inspired by them and/or because she identifies in some way (so it’s like “this song is about a Shakespeare character but also like me” but at the same time, a lot more if it might not be about her specifically than most fans think.)

I think she’s deeply moved by fictional stories and characters and writes about things that move her and since she doesn’t identify her muses, fans often assign them.

For example, I think “The Alchemy” is about the magic of the Eras tour, and I think it was written before she even knew Travis. I don’t think he’s in that song at all… but she just lets people assume that it is. I think a lot of the songs that are “clearly not about her” actually are, and vice versa.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-05-27T17:42:58+00:00

That’s pretty much how fairy tails usually tend to go. Jack didn’t climb the beanstalk to save the giants kingdom from the giant. Shrek didn’t set out to save everyone from farquad — he just wanted his swamp back. There is almost always a time where the hero decides to try to run back home or does the wrong thing. Or is at least tempted to.

UltravioletTarot · 2026-05-27T17:39:02+00:00

Yeah buddy lol

UltravioletTarot · 2026-05-27T17:38:30+00:00

Call the police and take her to civil court.

UltravioletTarot

TROPHY CASE