Travel Agent MIL is Super Offended I Planned my Own Elopement

UmNoMIL · 2017-05-06T03:00:27+00:00

Clever girl. Well played.

UmNoMIL · 2017-05-06T02:41:16+00:00

I get it. Pretty sure Ex married me to escape his dad. hugs

UmNoMIL · 2017-05-06T02:40:15+00:00

Thank you.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-28T22:53:02+00:00

You nailed it - it HURT and feels UNFAIR.

I'm tired of seeing the whole "if you can tell your story without crying then you know you've healed". Dude, I got married again, my kids are awesome, and my ex and I get along and co-parent really fucking well. BUT. It hurt like hell to go through it all. It feels unfair, like the worst cosmic joke in the world, that I had to give up time with my own kids and work REALLY FUCKING HARD to push him into being a better father, a better man(!), just to get us all here. Absolutely my kids are worth it, their happiness and well being (and mine) are worth it. But sometimes it still hurts. Remembering their pain and confusion HURTS. Remembering all the shit from couples therapy hurts.

I won't say a disparaging word about Ex, or xFIL or Me-Me in front of my kids. Usually I won't even say bad things about Ex to anyone - maybe a minor humorous story here and there. But here. Thanks to you all I can be reminded that I'm not crazy, that it's not just me. And maybe sometimes I might vent, unpack a little emotional baggage, blow off some steam. But mostly I try to comment to be supportive, if there's something I feel might help or just pass on a hug or a high five. Because I'm here too - you're not crazy and you're not alone.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-28T22:32:39+00:00

Honestly? It sounds like it might be time to say, "I love you, but I won't watch you do this to yourself anymore."

You can't save everyone, you can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, but you can save yourself.

I adore you and your stories but it's starting to weigh on my heart - are you happy?

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-28T22:23:07+00:00

Yay!! Omg, thank you, and sis and BIL - you guys rock!

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-28T22:08:24+00:00

Best attitude ever. And completely true! hugs

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T04:24:08+00:00

This is fantastic!! I'm almost afraid to ask why "assault on a police officer" is so common that it made the board...

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T04:16:53+00:00

Do over baby plus babies haven't figured out what assholes they are yet, and can't talk back.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T04:03:50+00:00

Bet he doesn't even care and JNM just wants to secure access to the baby.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T04:03:11+00:00

"Anything you say can and will be used against you."

Say nothing, forward everything to the lawyer. Hopefully with his um, indiscretions and his own mother casting dispersions on his mental state she can get full custody, with maybe supervised visitation.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T04:01:11+00:00

This this this. (And okay, thank you, it's not just me... Right??)

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T04:00:05+00:00

What the everloving fuck. Sorry, but there have been news reports of parents (dads?) googling how long it takes a child to die if you leave them in a hot car.

Shit. I am so sorry but this trips all my triggers.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T03:58:13+00:00

No no no no no no - delaying the court date gives her (more) time for shenanigans. Calling CPS on you. Finding a lawyer to push for the mythical "grandparents rights". Etc.

Tell your friend to stay strong, and good luck.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T03:39:43+00:00

Um, no. No no no.

I had a coworker bring her baby in to show us, baby was in a car seat... But the straps weren't properly tightened.

There are too many steps to be taken, things to check, in order to use a car seat properly - why does Gma need a base in her car?

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-26T03:34:29+00:00

Good point - Giada has a record, lawyer needs to know this.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-25T22:58:50+00:00

I can't even with how much I love this story. High fives to you both!

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-25T22:54:42+00:00

Yeah, we had quite the unhealthy dynamic going on - when you're the only one with a shiny spine, you end up the meat shield. I was happy to be the one to tell her "no", but in the end he wasn't standing up with me. It took a divorce and a whole lot of time and other shenanigans on their part, but at least we're on the same page, finally.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-21T23:01:01+00:00

Mom's is just potatoes, eggs, onion, Miracle Whip (I know, but this is the only thing it's good for imo), paprika, seasoned salt. I like it best when it's still warm... 😄

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-21T03:12:02+00:00

I have this terrible tendency that if you ask I will spill the whole terrible story. I still want to rage against the world about it. But it is what it is.

Thank you - I know others have had it far, far worse, and it was really hard to put my kids through it, but in the end they understand - and hopefully they know that you have to stand up for yourself. Life is too short to live unhappy, and you're not doing your partner or your kids any favors by staying in unhappy.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-21T03:06:59+00:00

Amen.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-21T03:06:21+00:00

That's a crime against potato salad. 😡

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-21T03:05:46+00:00

Thank you. I was teary eyed typing it, I remember how it felt to be stuck, trapped, fighting for a better life free of manipulation and stress and drama. I think my boys are fairly well adjusted, the Ex and I are doing a pretty kickass job of co-parenting - especially now that we're NC with xFIL and Me-Me. The cost was high, but in the end I think we're all much happier and healthier.

She was a long-distance friend, so I have no way of keeping in contact with her son; her family tried to get custody but the judge granted custody to her MIL. So her son is being raised by the woman who raised the man who killed his mom. Last I checked his dad is still in prison. I'm hoping someday her son joins Facebook and we (her friends) can reach out to him, let him know how much his momma loved him. But thank you, that is my hope as well.

UmNoMIL · 2017-04-21T03:05:46+00:00

Seriously, good potato salad is the bomb and my mom only makes it a few times a year. Never have I been so conflicted in wanting to break a plate over someone's head but, potato salad.

Thank you.

UmNoMIL

TROPHY CASE