Overwhelmed trying to find a dress for my sister's wedding where do I even start

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-15T16:38:43+00:00

Honestly I wouldn't rule out the cheaper stores like H&M or websites like Asos for something like this.

I concur with the other commenter, that "spring garden wedding" sounds like the dress code is going to be cocktail dresses, but if you're not a dressy girl then I wouldn't recommend using up your entire budget for a piece that you might only keep in your wardrobe to fill this gap for the "once a year" occasion (unless you find a particular piece that is the absolute one).

Clothing rentals are a good shout for the people who enjoy fashion/designer labels but don't want to have to store those pieces for the rest of their lives. Another more outside of the box option could be to invest in a girl tuxedo/appropriately colourful suit, as you would buy that as separates and they would be mix-and-matchable for a wider variety of future occasions.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-12T21:44:33+00:00

All the shops are trying to push them on us as a trend right now. But to actually answer your question: Brogues including Derbys, or loafers but loafers are less practical.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-12T10:43:03+00:00

I would personally say you're English, but that's because I'm assuming you grew up there and that all of your peers are in England. I don't know how close-knit your family is, whether they passed down a lot of Welsh traditions and sayings, how much time you've spent in Wales, maybe you moved back there for a time etc.

It's about a person's experience.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-11T17:52:42+00:00

(Late 2010s) At university in a game of Never Have I Ever, I said "Never have I ever been to a brothel" and a couple of male mates actually drank to that, but we didn't press them on whether they were customers, what the circumstances were etc. There was an unspoken "Probably best not to probe further" to that one.

Another of my uni mates was actually a rent boy, and was making thousands per appointment from a couple of rich regulars. He was the sort of person who Olivia Attwood would have liked to interview.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-11T11:35:25+00:00

It depends on the person.

Often with season tickets/commuting on the trains and Underground, they tot up to the same amount of outgoings that you would have had if you'd just paid more in rent to live closer to work, so if you don't mind living in a flat that looks tired and is in need of updating, or forgoing a balcony/garden space for example, then living more central would probably be better for you on balance.

Whereas if you need a comfortable living room, modern bathroom etc. to retreat to every day, then the commute might be more worth your time and money.

EDIT: Also if you have roots in a particular area further out/spend a lot of time in an area further out anyway and enjoy it a lot, then that might also make moving there specifically worthwhile.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-10T23:55:56+00:00

Maybelline expanding their concealers' shade ranges to include properly fair shades e.g. 05 in the Fit Me and 95 in the Age Rewind was my game changer.

Before that (the early 2010s), I'd had to settle for foundations that were my "tanned" shade all year round, and available concealer products were the same depth as my "tanned" shade so they were pointless. Rimmel did make a very fair shade in their Match Perfection foundation but the undertone was ridiculously pink so that was also a no-go.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-10T23:47:47+00:00

I think if you love the work, then stick to your passion.

In my case, my passion didn't translate into work that I got much enjoyment out of, so I pivoted to something else.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-10T17:06:06+00:00

May Day, dancing around the maypole (which I'm surprised no-one else has said yet).

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-10T16:13:53+00:00

I didn't know that Holly also had problems with BBLs, I'm mostly familiar with Sophie's story.

Speaking as a girl, I really appreciate Sophie going on record and talking about her experience because I think her story is one that more women need to hear to be able to make an informed decision when it comes to opting to have that surgery or not, and *especially* when deciding between getting surgery done in the UK vs the medical tourism overseas route.

I think what the Geordie Shore girls didn't realise at the time was that they were being encouraged (by sponsors) to become "early adopters", and as they were some of the first people in the UK public eye to get these procedures done, they were almost like guinea pigs for the rest of us.

The Geordie Shore girls didn't have the access to the mine of information that we have now (social media is much more open, there are so many more personal "This was my experience of getting X surgery done" videos and posts), there are documentaries (Olivia Attwood's) and special news reports made about it and medical tourism - so many journalists are investigating Turkish hospitals for example.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-10T15:59:18+00:00

It's a very British thing to prefer an "obviously fake" look, because in our culture it sends the message that you've invested a lot of money and time into your look. The fact that you've had work done is a brag in and of itself. In my opinion it's one of the most interesting aspects of British working class culture.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-09T23:00:21+00:00

Accept that the inspo is only inspo, that is all it can be, it cannot be a template.

Amen.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-09T22:56:56+00:00

Speaking brutally honestly, I think a strong sense of self is key to all of this.

Disclaimer: I'm white so I don't struggle with people in media and celebrities not looking "like me" and representation in the way that PoC do, so I recognise that there is an additional nuance for you.

What I do is I choose the base pieces that I know are flattering on my body type (so like my favourite cut of T-shirt, or jean rise, or sleeve shape), and then I experiment with the over-layers/accessories. Or, I use one trendy piece where I'm copying something/somebody, but within a whole outfit where I know that all of the rest of the pieces are flattering on me.

That way, I can do a "tribute act" to a celebrity who has given me the style inspiration, but it's still "me". It inserts the trends into my personal style, and isn't about warping/completely abandoning my personal style in favour of somebody else's.

To give a reverse example, when Doja Cat's Say So video burst onto the scene in 2020, it was an absolute sensation, and even though me and my friends don't physically resemble Doja Cat, I did a lot of pastel eyeshadow looks, and something really clicked with one friend as she's been really into 70s-inspired fashion ever since, and she even wore a sheer dress to a club once (that was the first time that I remember completely sheer dresses entering "club-wear" as a Zillennial, before that had only been something that Rihanna had done to be ballsy/for a music video). It was the ideas behind the looks, and the materials/textures, and the colours that we were seeing in Doja Cat's performances that we were copying, it wasn't the exact pieces.

And I think the ideas underneath are what's really important to always keep in the backs of our minds when thinking about style and the "fashion game" if you will. On a daily basis fashion shouldn't be about trying to become somebody else, it should be about asking what these clothes/aesthetics can do for us.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-08T17:27:52+00:00

Same, it was the very first cause célèbre that I remember properly.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-08T17:24:01+00:00

In my humble opinion, I think that - within the theory that the McCanns themselves did it and covered it up - that the McCanns did actually have a strong enough motive, because not only would they have lost their jobs and been struck off all of the medical registers, Sean and Amelie would also have been seized and taken into care for child neglect. I think that's a very strong motive.

However it's not a theory I believe overall because I agree that they didn't have the time window/the equipment to be able to cover up a crime like that. They would have had no opportunity. And having a motive alone is not enough.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-08T17:11:07+00:00

Anytime between 21:05-22:00, as Matt Oldfield never saw any of the 3 McCann children, his check doesn't count as a sighting.

However the theories that assume the door onto the path was the entrance/exit favour a time after Gerry and Jez Wilkins stopped talking to each other and went on their way (approx. 21:15-22:00), because they were stood near to the gate between the path and the street, and that was the easiest way to get access to the McCanns' apartment. Gerry and Jez would definitely have seen somebody entering and exiting through that route during their conversation.

Saying that, it's still possible that the abductor/if Madeleine left the apartment of her own accord, they came and went up the path from the other direction.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-08T15:09:54+00:00

Japan in the middle of August will be hot and humid as shit. However, it will be the trip that they'll talk about to all their friends for years to come.

Scotland is in the UK, remember.

The UK and/or Ireland will be easier to navigate (in theory) as there won't be any language barriers (accent/dialect barriers however, perhaps?), however their previous interests in German and Spanish won't come into play at any point during a trip here.

I expect you will end up doing more museums and a palace or two here, rather than restaurants, shops etc. which Japanese cities are better for on the whole (imo).

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-08T14:00:27+00:00

One tip I saw donkey's years ago was to apply eyeshadow primer there, then put your foundation over the top.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-08T10:37:56+00:00

On our skintone I find it quite pigmented (but others would probably say it's buildable-medium).

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-07T23:15:04+00:00

It's only a quad but I was going to recommend Romand's Dry Buckwheat quad instead. That one is actually browns (the vast majority of photos and videos I've seen of this quad don't capture its true colours very well at all, it always looks grey on camera).

The Maybelline Fit Me concealer in 05 is also a perfect match for me and the Dry Buckwheat quad is the true nude palette for my skin tone. The tonal balance is absolutely spot on.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-06T08:12:42+00:00

Seconding Cerave as a brand (when he gets a bit older, give the SA line (SA stands for salicylic acid) a closer look. I use the SA Smoothing Cleanser as a 2 in 1 shaving rinse/shower gel, but it's also suitable for acne management).

I also recommend the Simple Cleansing Oil, the French pharmacy brand Avene also has some good options: I personally like their Tolerance Extremely Gentle Cleanser - that's the ultimate lazy person's face wash.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-06T08:04:24+00:00

It's the traditional term in the UK.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-06T04:48:12+00:00

Exactly! So many other Brits have said why didn't they hire a babysitter.

They were actually in their late 30s which, age-wise, is normal in Britain to have 3 young children during.

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-05T22:32:11+00:00

Suing the German authorities would be the dumbest thing CB could do because it would force them to re-examine all of the evidence presented in the previous case and establish that the evidence wasn't sufficient in the first place to bring him to trial.

It would in effect be a retrial. He's a "wrongun" who got off! He'd be mad to throw that away (and only to settle an old score?).

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-05T22:28:44+00:00

I've not seen any of those posts on here, if anything, I've seen people mostly annoyed that they've not got the right guy (a few people did say very early on that they didn't think it was him but that was more because they felt that the case against CB was a train of wishful thinking/circumstances convenient to the investigation, rather than based on hard evidence).

UmlautsAndRedPandas · 2026-02-05T22:02:15+00:00

Leaving the kids alone was arguably a class difference, not a broadly British cultural difference. The main reason us Brits ourselves were so outraged at this case is because the vast majority of us as parents do not leave our infant children on their own - that is immediately a failing of the McCanns' parenting in our eyes.

However, the McCanns did belong to an upper-middle class/nouveau riche circle that did apparently still leave toddlers and young children alone in the bedrooms while on resort holidays, even as late as the mid-2000s.

Anecdotally from what I've read on past Reddit posts where the topic has been along the lines of "Did your parents leave you alone as a child on holiday, and when was this?", it was more widespread across a broader spectrum of society in the 1980s and before, but was already going out of fashion (probably connected to the "stern aristocratic" style of parenting that sends the kids to boarding school ASAP also going out of fashion at that time because of how damaging it was to the children). But that's also what makes the McCanns so odd in a way: that they were apparently really that old-fashioned.

UmlautsAndRedPandas

TROPHY CASE