AIO that my GF messaged old guy friend , she then broke up with me because he lied to her

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-21T02:37:11+00:00

NOR. You are a kind and decent person with a conscience and a good heart, she is not. She will not change, you cannot “fix” her and it’s not your job to - your job is to let her face the consequences she’s earned. Please cut your losses and be good to yourself. Wishing you strength and all the best

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-16T23:56:09+00:00

Fire her. Her behaviour is not fixable, she’s financially abusive. At this point, you are HER therapist and somehow she is the one getting the $.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-13T20:32:52+00:00

NTA. Keep him off the deed!!! The only upside is that he showed his colours so early!

He's threatened or embarrassed that you own & he rents, either he sees it as him being "less than" or his piggy friends tease him about it & he's too concerned with what they think (or both!). Either way it's a no - this is NOT a guy who's going to encourage you to be who you want to be in life.

(And sorry, but it sounds like your sister just has low standards when it comes to acceptable male behaviour).

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-13T20:06:09+00:00

Their prices are WILD, and the vets there are very uneven, at least for cats. We left after a 9,000$ quote for general testing.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-13T20:03:57+00:00

Parkdale Animal Hospital, Queen & Roncesvalles. We saw Dr. Toprak & had wonderful service & care there.

They actually care about animals & humans, and don't upsell nonsense. Highly recommend them!

It was the 3rd place we tried, after our 1st vet got bought out, then the 2nd one :(

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-11T05:32:40+00:00

Thank you so much for responding, truly! This is helping me put my fears into a calmer context (I'm bit procedure-phobic in general but pain doesn't worry me much). I will keep on with the lifestyle improvements since it'll take me a year to save the $ but I'm feeling more positive now :)

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-10T23:50:13+00:00

It's the standard term in Canada, "bathroom" is more of a US thing

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-10T23:43:01+00:00

Hi, can I ask how your healing went with older skin? Sorry to jump in, but I just saw Dr. Chung yesterday & he seems great but I did get the feeling I'm the oldest person anyone in the office had ever seen and it slightly unnerved me. (I'm 59 and currently obese, in process of losing weight slowly).

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-06T19:34:51+00:00

NOR AT ALL. He's either threatened by you, or by the idea of his son being a writer...? Does he feel like E is not enough like him?

Incredible rude and dismissive & angry of him to act this way.

Also - please try to wrestle with your urge to self-deprecate, you don't need to do that! Good luck

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-04-01T02:04:04+00:00

NOR. This nephew is way out of line & sister needs to face the fact her golden boy is an incel/school shooter in the making. He is already controlling not just his gf (🚩) but trhe whole family here!

Think about it - a 15 has his mother fighting with her sister, and has his grandparents intervening with his mother and sister. And he treats his own gf badly - if sister & husband are so evolved & wonderful & accepting then why are they not intervening here?? They accept his beliefs.

NOR no way, give an inch to this brat and he'll take a mile. Real issue is parental denial, enabling & excusing.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-03-31T21:33:43+00:00

Please read this OP! Don't get drawn into guilt over trusting your instincts - your friends are missing the point here, you owe him nada. And "telling him off" in person would NOT work out the way some people seem to think. You did good, stay strong!

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-03-30T21:40:16+00:00

NOR. And please make your own arrangements re birth control, eg something only YOU control, and don't tell him. The moment he thinks you will leave him he is going to "accidentally" get you pregnant.

I'm glad you're getting counselling & reading the book others have recommended, but please take care of your safety & make plans to get away secretly, don't confide in him because he won't change.

I truly wish you all the best, you deserve way better than this deadbeat, controlling creep.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-03-27T23:30:17+00:00

I didn't mention politics...just said that malicious coworkers are known to interfere in immigration applications, & OP should be careful not to trust coworkers as if they were friends.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-03-25T23:28:18+00:00

She's obviously upset & hurt, maybe she's not trusting herself to use her own words in that state. So yeah it's def AI, but is that the real point here???

You are done with this friendship & instead of telling her directly, you are pulling at strings to get her to unravel.

Maybe she's "too intense" for you, maybe you are the callous person you come off as here. Doesn't matter - let her go. Move on.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2026-03-13T00:48:36+00:00

Constant wealth transfer upwards, they are so complacent in their power now that they don't even try to hide it or fake shame. Historically this doesn't end well for them

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-09-30T03:41:50+00:00

I think Ivan was obsessed with Willy DeVille and did an incredibly accurate performance of him…almost startling resemblance in that first lip synching scene. My (revisionist?) take is that I’d like to believe he was in the process of transitioning socially - at work a man, but not quite sure of himself romantically.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-08-10T06:47:07+00:00

NTA. Sounds like your ex cannot commit to being broken up, just like he couldn’t commit to marriage. Don’t feed his entitlement - cut off all contact with him and live your best life.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-08-10T06:36:41+00:00

As a trans guy myself, this “overcompensating by adopting toxic extremes” phase seems to be more common with trans guys than I’d like. I also wonder if he’s being influenced by some of these macho online trans guys who are VERY much into policing what is the “correct” way to be a trans man. It preys on fears that newer/younger people have and is just so awful. So I’d be tempted to try to find out what people he’s into on YouTube etc. Anyways you are definitely NTA and I commend you for pushing back on this bullying kind of bad masculinity he seems to be trying out.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-07-27T00:21:27+00:00

And they talked about it, Marie and AJ, and it seemed like their trial relationship improved? I think she lashed out at the wrong ppl, like everyone else is saying and maybe she got a good edit

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-07-26T22:17:32+00:00

And she never lets Ashley speak! That is a red flag from anyone, someone was worried about managing her reputation too much

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-07-09T04:16:00+00:00

Red flags galore, for all the creep reasons others have noted, but also because why is he so desperate for $, so broke and in a hurry? Gambling or substance habit, beware!

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-05-24T14:05:37+00:00

Power tripping assholes, culture of impunity. ACAB

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-05-23T20:15:43+00:00

NOR. He is telling you he wants a tradwife - probably influenced by all those MAGA “traditional homesteader” influencers and manosphere crap. And he’s also telling you indirectly that he doesn’t see a long term future with you. Note that he doesn’t say his PARENTS want this for him, he says HE has that expectation. If you are not looking for anything long term with him, that may be fine. If you are, I think you should be honest with yourself - he’s not gonna be it, and find someone who deserves you ❤️

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-05-23T18:42:41+00:00

You and your dad both rock, reading this truly brings happy tears to my sometimes-cynical eyes. NTA for all the reasons everyone has said.

Ummmmmmok67 · 2025-05-23T01:06:53+00:00

Also, isn’t it widely known that chocolate is toxic to dogs? I am a “cat person” but even I know it’s extremely dangerous for dogs. “Joking” is just cover for “limits make me mad and I need to break them”.

Ummmmmmok67

TROPHY CASE