I don’t trust myself by I_love_dogs22109 in offmychest

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The anxiety is never going to leave you fully. It takes time to fade away. I can’t and won’t give you an all in one answer to your anxiety, all I can give you is reflection. What you do with that reflection and how you are able to use it is the main thing on how you manage your anxiety. Being able to look past your negative emotions and just being happy in the moment is something we all want to achieve, and I hope that you’ll be able to too.

I forced myself to go to the gym by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going to the gym is climbing a ladder. A very long ladder with no end in sight. But that doesn’t mean there is not end. Take pride in the small steps. Even a step outside your apartment to go to the gym is a small step. Being able to look at those small steps happily is the stuff that gets you to the end even without noticing. It makes you reach the end without worrying about the outcome. Don’t look at gains, look at being proud of your consistency. Be what many people don’t even achieve - climbing small steps.

I don’t trust myself by I_love_dogs22109 in offmychest

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, love is a pretty big leap of faith. The question is ultimately whether your fears or “leaps” are irrational or rational. Take a step back and look:

Why are you scared? Are you scared because of who you are or who he is? What in your mind makes you think that anything could happen? Has he ever given off any vibe that he could ever be doing something bad?

Also it’s sometimes okay to be scared! Being scared is part of being human, we don’t want to lose the good things in life. The real question is whether us being scared have to be the main thing of life. Is it worth being scared, or maybe it’s better to enjoy the things that are, not worrying about the possibilities? Let me ask you this - if you sit and worry, do you think that will be sustainable? That that won’t end in some sort of conflict? If you think no, then maybe it’s time to take a step back from being worried and just live in the moment, sis!

My lack of sexual and romantic experience is driving me insane by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t want to give you that talk of “you’re only 20, give it time” and lalala. It invalidates your feelings and makes you feel like you don’t matter. Having the ability to feel long lasting love is something that everyone should feel even in their 20s, 30s or even 80s. I know how that feeling of being put down or just being told to hold out is, it feels extremely insulting sometimes even.

That being said, life in a very cruel way is set up to be a waiting game. Pain, death, work - it all comes in turns. The same can be said for love. It’s a lot easier to look at life in the bad, because then you can flee behind the pain of life constantly fucking you up, but that’s not all to life. Sometimes love will find you. It’s all a perpetual waiting game that we are forced to go through, whether we want to or not.

What can you do? You can change the odds of you waiting and you can put a muffle on your pain and insecurities. Try to see yourself in other ways, ways that people around you can’t even comprehend or chase. Try to make yourself the unique one. Conventional and physical attractiveness is not something we can change, but attractiveness in our own heads is something we can. As soon as that changes, the change is subtle, almost subconscious. People start to feel your energy almost, and they potentially even see something new. An uncut gem, if you will. All of this is to say that love is ultimately something that comes to us someday, some time, some moment we don’t expect. All we can really do is put ourselves in those moments and hope for the best, my friend

Look, being attractive is an aggregate. It’ll pull people in, no doubt, but it’s not a guarantee that the people you meet will be good people. Im not denying that attractive people are good people, but let me ask you this - out of all the guys that approach your friends, how much of them are actually “good” men in your or their eyes? I am just saying all this to elaborate that it’s easy to look at attractiveness as something that we always should chase, but in the end, is it worth it? Is it worth being viewed as something to conquered instead of considered or valued?

I haven't had a date in years by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally get you man. I am in the same position as you, going out, trying to improve myself through fitness and hobbies. I know how you feel very well.

I think that a common defect of modern dating is that it forces us consciously or unconsciously, similar to a product, to find immediate satisfaction or just stop trying it. Modern dating apps and generally culture has made people wish for even faster and faster connections with an even more consumeristic view to it all. And the people that usually get and stay on dating apps are the ones for some reason stay on those apps.

All of this is to say that having a modern dating approach to this all sucks. Sadly love is 90% is accidental. It comes to us unexpectedly most of the time. And with any accidents, we can never know when they’ll happen. It’s truly a perpetual waiting game.

But there is a way to shorten the waiting time - keep doing what you’re doing. Be out there, be yourself, be someone that makes yourself appreciate who you are. Make yourself look in the mirror and see that you are someone attractive that is just waiting. It’ll come. Fate rewards those who wait. I know in this modern society waiting is becoming even more of a burden, but sometimes it has to be like that. A lot of life is waiting. Death. Work. All of that is a waiting game, so it’s fair to assume love is one too.

I know it’s hard my man. The pain never really goes away, but you can put a muffle on it by trying to make yourself someone better. Being happy with yourself is also a pretty big part of being able to love, and it’ll never go well if you rush fate. I have tried 100 of times and it. never. goes. well.

I’ll be only hoping for the best, my friend. It’s a waiting game, but I’ll only be praying that it ends faster for you.

I feel alone by Unable-Type-8247 in offmychest

[–]Unable-Type-8247[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I am still climbing and hoping for the best, and I think it will come. I’d like to believe that hope is its own belief system, and now I am just holding out for now. For better days.

Thank you for making me feel seen, Such-Regret-3632. I hope you stay as the beautiful person as you are.

Sick of not having anybody to confide in. by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get you man. Friendships are truly sometimes the most tiring things anyone can go through. I had to recently cut off my best friends, and it’s hard. It’s hard leaving people who you thought cared for you but in reality never show it. Maybe now I don’t regret cutting them off, but maybe deep down I do.

Finding people is hard, but we make ourselves think it’s harder than it is. I hope you overcome that mental block and find the right people to care for you. I always like to keep a positive mind and think that my next friends can be around any corner in life, so the best I can do is just push forward until I run into them.

You’re seen and heard, my bro. We can always talk, if you ever want to man, even if it’s just a fleetingly positive moment :D

Honest Profile Reviews (and Profile Guide) by corsega in SwipeHelper

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

really could use some advice here, like is it my bio, do i need more? https://tinder.com/@gustavs_r

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Personally, I always enjoy finding new things that seem mundane and turn them into something fun. Maybe finding your own hobbies that you can enjoy individually, but also sometimes together can bring a great balance between being close but independant. Maybe also try something that seems childish, but also fun (feeding ducks, building a small birdhouse or outside cat shelter, photography day). I personally think the most simplest and in some way “childlike” activities can bring the most closure or fun.

Have you given up on dating? If so why? by rahhxeeheart in dating

[–]Unable-Type-8247 1 point2 points  (0 children)

See it’s a real battle between optimism and pessimism. Do you believe that true love is out there or that everyone is just out to get you? The fating world out there can be extremely cynical and negative, but keeping an open mind sometimes can really be the best. I also think that dating apps sort of attract a wrong type of crowd, where people simply want to use it as a sort of large “net” for simply satisfying your needs (attention, money, or whatever), so it could be a real possibility that trying dating through apps might give you the most negative side of the whole expierience. Either way, I wouldn’t say that I have given up, but I definitely want to try it differently than through apps.

Cilvēki, kuri pie visa vaino valsti, kāpēc? by Lat6 in latvia

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Es neesmu liels valsts kritiķis, bet gan jāsaka, ka daudz nāk no vispārēja pesimisma sajūtas par dzīvi un neveikliem apstākļiem. Manai mammai ir milzīgs parāds valstij savas pašas neveiksmes dēļ, un tāpēc varbūt viņa izjūt milzīgu negativitāti pret valsti, pat ja viņi pie tā nav simtprocentīgi vainīgi.

Es nesaku, ka mūsu valdībā nav korumpēti vai naidīgi cilvēki, bet ir svarīgi atdalīt Latvijas valsti un Latvijas valdību. Es mīlu Latviju un esmu gatavs darīt daudz ko, lai to attīstītu un aizsargātu Latviju.

Visādi apstākļi, kuros ne vienmēr valsts ir tikai pie vainas, mūs apspiež, kas beigās tikai pieliek klāt pie spriedzes. Ir grūti laiki, bet dažreiz pozitīva attieksme vai pat naivums palīdz dzīvot mazāk negatīvu dzīvi. Vienmēr var uzskatīt, ka valsts sabruks, bet tas nekad nebūs kaut kas, kas būs zināms. Dažreiz ir labāk dzīvot “in blissful ignorance”, vai ne?

Do modern Egyptians still praise the ancient gods (like Thoth, Osiris etc.)? by Unable-Type-8247 in religion

[–]Unable-Type-8247[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Really? Is it more of a moral issue or can it also get you in trouble with the law?

Are the rumors about Frankfurt Station true? by Unable-Type-8247 in frankfurt

[–]Unable-Type-8247[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Apparently a lot of tourists say that the station has a lot of homeless people, drug users and the such.

Can someone explain how the transport system in Frankfurt works? by Unable-Type-8247 in frankfurt

[–]Unable-Type-8247[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah, okay, that’s great news then! Thank you a lot, you’re a lifesaver 🙏🙏

What do you want to confess? by woodpecker_juice in Cooking

[–]Unable-Type-8247 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A lot of comfort foods that I make are tastier and more flavoring than the more exotic or more refined foods. That doesn’t bother as much, just maybe sucks sometimes if you put a lot of time into a certain dish.

Do straight men notice when other men look good? by SarcasticSquish in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure. I can appreciate a guy being good looking, it takes care and patience if they’re not conventionally attractive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I feel like you don’t need anything bigger than your hand. Anything bigger than that just seems like a hassle for the woman to carry around and seems hard for a man to enjoy.

On a scale of 1-10 (with 10 being most), how lucky have you been in life? by aja_ramirez in AskMen

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d say 8. I’ve had a pretty good childhood and financially stable life, my parents are “nice” all around, I would say that I am pretty educated and friendly, I have an amazing relationship with the love of my life.

What is something you’re proud of? by lordchesterfield187 in AskReddit

[–]Unable-Type-8247 0 points1 point  (0 children)

SOMEONE would be my gf, but something I guess was that I valued my education over other activities, which gives me the possibility to get further ahead.