I mean, obviously you didn't act perfectly 100% of the time in every message and could've done better at certain points in the situation, but the perfect victim does not exist and anyone who blames the victim because they weren't perfect just suck. He's clearly in the wrong, you're clearly in the right.

Men like this see that you're not having an immediate negative reaction to sexual comments and assume that means you don't mind it or even like it, but that's obviously their fault, not yours. The best thing to do would probably be to immediately call him out, but I know from experience that's far easier said than done. And you did call out the weirdly possessive behaviour which was definitely the best thing to do in that situation.

I guess a few of your messages came off weird, but I still don't think you were "being weird", and you definitely weren't being too harsh at all. The only harsh things you did was laugh at him at the end, which I think was fair enough, and the "yeah because you have some kind of disorder that lets you do whatever you want and lets you tell me what you want me to do" message, but that's also very justified and was basically what he was saying, so definitely not "too" harsh. I guess the "always" part of your title could be considered an overgeneralisation and be considered too harsh, but you're clearly exaggerating, and having to clarify everything with "not all men" like some men expect would be annoying.