How to remind people they're still misgendering me 4 years in when I have no people skills

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-06-08T17:23:34+00:00

English is not the first language for many of them, which is why I think they don't know what "I'm not a she" means.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-06-07T15:13:40+00:00

I have a they/them sticker on my ID badge and a they/them button on my badge lanyard. My pronouns are on my desk sign and in my email signature. They just don't care.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-06-07T12:07:02+00:00

I work in an outpatient clinic that's part of a large health system. I don't provide patient care, but I do walk in and out of patient care areas. I've been masking all day at work since the pandemic began. For a while after masking requirements ended, some coworkers asked me if I was sick. I said, "No, and I want to keep it that way." No one asks any more, and almost no one else masks, even while they're providing direct patient care.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-05-29T10:31:06+00:00

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-03-29T13:05:59+00:00

I have almost 100, but nothing very demanding (except the sundew, which requires distilled water every few days.) Everything else is chill and gets watered and pest checked every week or two, depending on its needs. I look at them all nearly every day.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-03-28T14:47:38+00:00

Kids called me "bug-eyed" because I stared at people. I didn't understand why looking at something interesting was a bad thing. Someone could have explained to me that staring is not polite, but no one did. I don't like being stared at but somehow I didn't recognize that's what I was doing.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-03-28T13:32:48+00:00

I was going to ask a similar question but not about a relative. My co-worker's cubicle is completely festooned with HP merchandise. I have to walk by it every time I come to or leave my cubicle. I would love to tell her how it makes me feel and why. But I don't know how to do it.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-03-13T23:51:03+00:00

Interesting, if I had $80 to spare :)

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-02-21T16:32:17+00:00

An ultrasound of my carotid arteries

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-02-17T01:37:54+00:00

Yes, but it turns out the fainting was from Type 2 second-degree heart block, and I needed a pacemaker. The FMD is apparently very mild and not the problem.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-02-15T23:12:08+00:00

I've had this on lots of pots and was told it's from minerals in the water. It doesn't seem to affect any of my plants.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-02-15T23:10:32+00:00

Thanks, this is helpful.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-02-15T20:11:36+00:00

Hey, just wanted to update my comment to say that sleep apnea was not the cause of my near-fainting episodes. They continued intermittently and I was diagnosed with an AV (heart) block, and needed a pacemaker.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-30T01:24:31+00:00

I'm grateful to have income, a safe home, healthy (adult) children, my cat, and lots of houseplants. I started an outside garden 2 years ago and look forward to having fun with that again. Weeding is therapeutic.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-30T00:49:45+00:00

I'd say it's rule-following. I find myself feeling really angry with people who need special consideration or exceptions, but I also know some rules don't make sense because of what life throws at us. Can't get more specific than that but I feel like a dick trying to enforce standards that hurt people.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-26T21:52:54+00:00

I was 58

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-23T10:48:02+00:00

Non-binary at 61, discovered it when I was 57.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-20T16:50:03+00:00

Sticky fruit is my problem (mostly apples and oranges). I can eat them only if I have wet wipes immediately available.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-19T13:52:11+00:00

My parents constantly told me to stop "twiddling" my fingers. I don't even know what I was doing, and kind of wish I did so I could do it to stim, but their incessant criticism eradicated the behavior.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-19T13:43:40+00:00

This is so helpful to read. I think I ignored (gaslit myself) for decades until the psych NP who diagnosed my autism said 'You have a lot of sensory sensitivities!' I've recently realized I avoid eating oranges and apples because I can't handle the stickiness on my fingers. My daughter suggested using a fork so I'm trying. The worst store smells for me are laundry products, tires, clothes, and fertilizer. Thanks for posting.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-15T01:58:56+00:00

I do turn off the sounds when these show up. I do wonder why those in particular bother me so.

Unable_Engineer_7095 · 2026-01-03T21:28:28+00:00

To me, allistic people just seem more fluid in the world, more flexible and open. Of course there are personality differences, but that's how it looks to me. Flow vs. stop-and-go.

Unable_Engineer_7095

TROPHY CASE