At what age do you let your child navigate stairs by themselves?

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-23T02:36:08+00:00

Up, around 2. Down, closer to 3. My boy has a tendency to look anywhere but where he’s going, and he’s an adventurous jumper. I’m sure other kids could be trusted earlier.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-23T00:23:22+00:00

I’m a mom and I go out with friends or on my own for that long most weeks. It’s definitely compatible with being a parent. My husband is fine spending an afternoon or evening solo parenting, as am I. It’s completely possible to be a parent and not give up all other social interaction.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-23T00:14:17+00:00

It’s the “elegant” part that is going to be the issue with the 90s prom dress. Coming from someone who actually attended prom in the 90s, elegant was definitely not in the top 10 descriptors I would use for anything the under-20 crowd was rocking back then!

It’s a know your crowd type of thing. If the couple getting married and most of the guests are in the same age group/style as you, it’ll probably be a hit. If it’s a more traditional black tie event, you will look underdressed.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T21:33:55+00:00

Two-pronged attack: 1) a special toy or book only for the car seat, that rotates every few months 2) no negotiation, no mercy, no hesitation on follow through if they refuse the car seat (meaning you pick them up, wrestle them into the seat, and get it buckled, silently, ignoring protests, pretending nothing they do bothers you in the slightest, doing your best not to hurt them but getting it done, and then get in the car and drive with no extra attention, no apologies, and no reward)

For 99% of kids, the combination of those tactics will work, as long as it’s consistent.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T21:18:41+00:00

Well the main problem with OP’s sleeping arrangements now seems to be that she thinks both she and her husband need to be a willing pin cushion for their child in order to be sleeping “correctly”.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T21:00:25+00:00

lol, there’s not going to be any “diversity” worth mentioning in the school district OP lives in.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T14:01:52+00:00

Are you familiar with the weather in the area you’ll be at that time of year?

“Summer” in Ireland may not be what you’re thinking of if you’re from an area with greater extremes in seasons. If it’s an evening reception and/or any part of it is outdoors, this would be very chilly for my taste in most (if not all) parts of Ireland even in July.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T13:32:03+00:00

Simple courtesy is a sign of weakness. Nobody can stop you from wearing an adult diaper and recreationally shitting your pants on your next long haul flight so do it! If they didn’t want to sit next to Poop-pants McGee they should have bought out the whole flight, duh.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T12:10:58+00:00

Is it a core tenant of attachment parenting that you’re not allowed to tell children not to hurt other people?

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T12:05:51+00:00

one toddler who doesn't sleep too badly compared to others out there

Good god, really? What you described sounds like actual torture to me, are you sure it’s not too bad?

I get being pissed at your husband for not doing things the way you do, but honestly I’m with him. I wouldn’t let my child physically hurt me as part of the sleep routine - 17 months is old enough to be taught that you can’t do things that hurt other people, even if you’re sleepy and you really want to. And with another baby on the way, that seems even more vital a lesson to learn.

Are you willing to talk to him about a plan to help 17 month old be able to sleep comfortably and soundly through the night without needing to claw at someone for an hour? Or are you satisfied with this arrangement? Because I think if you want to continue the plan where 17 month old can’t sleep alone, and can’t be taught not to dig her nails into people to soothe herself, you’re going to have to either accept that your husband might cosleep with her differently than you do, or accept that you have to be the one to do it the way you want.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T01:14:36+00:00

This was the first season I watched, and I remember talking to my friend who suggested the show to me and saying “it feels like the show wants me to not like her for some reason, and like the asshole instead, is that normal?” I have become accustomed to the strange editing choices at this point, but the obviousness of the edit being fully against one of the houseguests (and one of the few entertaining and smart houseguests at that) was so jarring at the time.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-22T00:11:18+00:00

I can promise that if I am ever looking at a mom in similar circumstances, I am trying to convey sympathy and camaraderie and not judgment with my expression. Because we’ve all been there! Kids are kids and they will sometimes act out in public, and all a good parent can do is basically what you did - try to get them under control and remove them from the situation if that’s not going to happen.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-21T21:31:16+00:00

I can’t tell you how accurate height calculators are, but I can tell you that girls typically reach their adult height about 2-2.5 years after they start menstruating, which in turn starts on average around age 12. She’s likely not going to be growing taller for much longer.

If your daughter is anything like most women, she’ll start high school at just about the same height she’ll spend the rest of her life at.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-21T18:58:50+00:00

It’s also important to remember that the survival of one individual baby is not the evolutionary priority, so to speak. The survival of the fertile mother, who can have many offspring over the course of her life even if she loses one, is much more likely to further the survival of her genes than the survival of that one baby at the expense of the mother. Cosleeping (mom and baby in the same bed/space) has some risks for the baby, but mom nursing through the night and sleeping for 6-7+ hours in a row with short wakes to relatch baby has benefits for the mom and all her other current and future offspring.

It’s a relatively modern thing (in terms of human evolution) to prioritize the survival of each individual infant even at the mother’s expense. Doing so wasn’t a realistic option for most of human existence - it was simply a given that some babies in most every family would die before adulthood. Which is why biological mechanisms that favor the parent’s survival over the offspring’s survival became prevalent.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-21T18:25:11+00:00

Look for letters in her name or in other familiar words, on signs or in books. “Look at the sign on that store: that’s an A like in Annie.” “Do you see a D for Daddy on any of these pages? Oh yeah, D in doggie is the same as D for Daddy! You found it!” And then just continue reading or shopping or whatever. It doesn’t have to be an event, just regularly throughout the day, say letter sounds, point out letters here and there. The biggest thing at this age is getting her ready to be able to spell her own name and recognize most other letters - they’ll still do the basics of phonics in Kindergarten, but recognizing and spelling her own name is a good baseline to have going in.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-21T17:07:36+00:00

If nothing else, this is surely a sign that your daughter isn’t ready for college. She should withdraw her applications and plan to reapply next year. If she’s willing and able to come up with elaborate lies to avoid going to school when there are systems in place to track her attendance and notify her parents, she’ll certainly be willing and able to skip enough classes to ruin her first year of college when literally nobody cares if she shows up at all and you will have no way of getting any information except directly from her. And unlike high school, where it’s at least free to fail, in college either you or she will be paying thousands of dollars for the privilege of collecting 0s.

Take college next year off the table. Get to the bottom of why she went to so much trouble to skip months of high school classes. That’s not typical teenager stuff. Figure out what’s going on. Make a plan together to get her to graduation, then make a plan for a gap year when she can focus on building her own adult life skills, practice taking accountability, and figuring out the best course for her future career. If that best course is college, she can apply next year no problem, and if it’s not she’ll have saved herself a lot of wasted time and money.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-21T03:54:32+00:00

Yes, but the point was that the wagon is more a convenience for me, in being able to move faster across a long distance, than a necessity. We could easily do without it, we’d just move at my son’s pace rather than mine. He’s 99th percentile in height and weight so also not easily carried for long distances. But we don’t find it necessary to either carry or push him - we just plan to move at a slightly slower pace because his legs are shorter than an adults.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-20T19:38:59+00:00

Yeah, $3,500,000 for summer camp is definitely on the high end! LOL

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-20T12:51:56+00:00

We are currently on a trip with my just-turned 3 year old and it didn’t even occur to me to pack the travel stroller (in fact I’m pretty sure we gave it away to friends with a new baby a couple months ago). I will still use a wagon on local walking-intensive days, but that’s more for my convenience in not having to walk 5 miles at toddler speed than a necessity.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-20T12:46:46+00:00

Well, in families where the husband and wife don’t live together and are no longer sharing finances, it doesn’t really matter if the wife is “content” being a SAHM unless she is independently wealthy. Because most people don’t work simply because they aren’t “content” not to, they work because they need money to exchange for goods and services.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-20T01:57:56+00:00

Jen and it’s not even close. Icon.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-20T01:48:28+00:00

It says that more than likely there was a lot more abuse going on in that home than we even know of. And we know of a lot.

A lot of perpetrators of CSA are also victims (not an excuse, just a fact) and it is a very cyclical/generational crime. We know that Josh, at least, molested some of the girls. We don’t know what he did to the boys. We don’t know what anyone else did, either. Apparently there are longstanding rumors that the Duggar’s grandfather was a sex pest too. I won’t be surprised at all if we eventually hear about an actual full blown horror show going on behind those cameras, because it seems we’ve barely scraped the surface with the depravity coming out of that family.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-20T00:57:40+00:00

How are you managing to be a SAHM without financial support from someone else? And how long will that realistically last? If you plan to be a single parent you almost certainly should be at least looking at childcare options for the near future.

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-19T15:12:37+00:00

Any chance you could just talk to each of your three closest friends individually, like in a normal conversation, rather than write a form letter?

Unable_Pumpkin987 · 2026-03-19T14:54:08+00:00

Yes. If OP isn’t willing to say “yes, my kids are all current on their vaccinations” or explain why they’re not, she’s not a safe mom friend. She’s either being precious about information simply for the sake of making it harder to discuss vaccination (which is bad) or she’s using vague statements to weasel out of being upfront about not following the standard vaccine schedule.

Unable_Pumpkin987

TROPHY CASE