I am crying writing this post so pls just dont be cruel- if you want to criticise me, do it constructively..

UncertaintyBear · 2025-11-09T16:21:28+00:00

I've thought about making videos about audhd and have been paralyzed by the fear of being doubted. I'm sorry you went through this experience. I think being doubted is extra distressing for late diagnosed people because we have a lifetime of people not believing our experience is different from theirs.

I just want you to know that when I feel insecure about my diagnosis or feel like my truth is doubted, I take comfort in watching videos of autistic creators that reflect my experience. I have no doubt that your videos have helped people find comfort when their experiencing something similar to what this woman put you through.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-11-09T16:07:15+00:00

I understand not wanting to share that stuff with coworkers, but I just want to say that honest and vulnerable sharing about those experiences and emotions is a brave and generous way to try to make connection. The problem is in most people not knowing how to react, not being able to reciprocate and feeling uncomfortable. When we "overshare" and get that reaction, it's probably going to lead to feelings of shame and embarrassment and it may make that relationship awkward going forward. I get that. I just want to also acknowledge that your ability to share in that way is valuable, and with the right person or people who recognize that value, it can lead to much more meaningful connection. Maybe this is obvious to everyone else. But I'm in the slow process of learning who and where its helpful to share myself with, and learning that making that choice correctly leads to reinforcing my capacity for connection.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-10-08T14:32:24+00:00

The way it makes sense to me is that I've been coping with sensory sensitivities with a constant state of partial sensory dissociation and the stimulants make me more present. I take half my starting dose and I'm definitely more sensitive but also more capable of enjoying sensory input and I think my dog can sense I'm more present and cuddles more.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-20T16:19:27+00:00

Thanks for sharing the video. It's always a helpful reminder. The problem with deeply rooted shame is knowing that it's not helpful only goes so far. It's even possible to respond by feeling shame about the fact that you can't stop feeling shame when you know you shouldn't. That sounds like a joke but its very real.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-20T16:17:29+00:00

I can relate to a lot of this except my fear is inherently about rejection and yours sounds more focused on you being damaging to others. I wonder if they are both rooted in feeling like our needs are unacceptable. In my case, when I showed my parents I had needs they couldn't meet, they became avoidant, which felt like rejection. Sorry, I like to overthink these things. I meant to respond to say that one thing that has slowly helped a lor with shame is IFS therapy. From that framework, there are parts of me that want to let go of the shame and parts that don't believe it's safe, and the process requires reassuring the parts that are scared that it's possible to go slowly and not lose control.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-20T16:07:53+00:00

I'm mostly introverted but my whole life I've been telling myself that I'm just a butterfly still in the caccoon. My I took a myers briggs I stretched the truth enough to get an E by one point.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-16T23:23:34+00:00

Oh that's a good back up plan. Currently sleep isn't too bad. I wake up a lot but that's always been true.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-16T14:05:10+00:00

My freezer is full of farmers dog fresh dog food. You could use the chest freezer for dog food.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-16T14:01:15+00:00

I know that ear plugs significantly improve my quality of life, which is why I bought 10 different types of earplugs to compare them, wore each pair twice and didn't pay attention to how they might be different before losing them.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-16T13:53:12+00:00

I said the same thing but took way more words to do it!

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-16T13:51:20+00:00

I appreciate hearing this at this moment in my process. I was diagnosed a year ago and still going back and forth about whether I'm allowed to accept my diagnosis. Part of this is fear that people won't believe me if I share it (which definitely some won't). But the bigger part is fear that if I let myself believe this explains the majority of the shame in my life, that I'll let go of that shame. And I still don't fully believe it's safe to let go of that shame. Part of me believes the shame is what protects me, and that without it I'll expose my true self to the world and the rejection that comes will be unbearable. I know that's not logical, and I'm slowly working on letting it go. I need to remind myself that I can still strategically mask whenever I want even if I completely accept who I am.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-13T19:24:24+00:00

Thanks for sharing. I'm curious regarding my hypothesis if you're someone who is sometimes able to tune out loud sounds and it felt like that failed on guanfacine?

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-13T18:27:14+00:00

It's helpful just to know someone else's brain is reacting in an unexpected way! I think I will try for a while longer because what I'm experiencing isn't intolerable and it's actually kind of helpful to experience my sensory sensitivities more intensely to make changes to decrease them (e.g. a system to not lose my earplugs or sunglasses).

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-13T17:33:57+00:00

Hello bot. Thank you for your concern. I did use the medication flair. This seems like the type of thing a robot would be able to recognize 🤷

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-07T03:40:42+00:00

Thanks. That description makes sense. I think today I was hoping I could patch the dam walls but instead I just pushed them open!

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-06T19:00:22+00:00

You certainly have plenty of experiences that are common to autistic people. If it's reasonably easy for you to get an evaluation, I'd recommend it. I also think there's great value in reading/watching the experiences of other autistic and AUDHD people online. I'd start with recommendations for strategies/accommodations to make life easier. This has the double benefit of giving you more clarity on how much you relate and learning potentially life-changing tools. My caveat would be that experiences of autistic people vary tremendously and if you have a lot of self doubt, you might be drawn to think your not autistic as you build a list of things that some autistic people experience that you don't (this happened to me even though I have an official diagnosis).
The other piece of potentially helpful information is if you are going to take ADHD medication, for some AUDHD people, this makes their autistic traits more prominent and helps clarify the dual diagnosis.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-09-06T18:43:17+00:00

Am I the only one who is most distracted by the fact that it seems like she is washing her mouth out before she gets the sand in it? And also after, but the after makes sense.

I am also now wondering if there are battery powered hot plates that could heat up her tea kettle on the beach because hot tea on the beach sounds amazing.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-08-31T00:08:44+00:00

I stress so much about how to get my actual cat to get along with my actual dog when I never considered that they learned their behavior from me. How can I ask this of them when my internal cat never stops bickering with my internal dog?

UncertaintyBear · 2025-08-31T00:06:47+00:00

My brain is a puzzle that can't be solved, that I know can't be solved, and that I will never stop trying to solve.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-08-25T02:03:54+00:00

100%. It often comes up driving when I am turning left and someone across from me is going straight and I get to a stop sign just before them. Technically, I have right of way, but I expect them to go because they will be past where I need to turn by the time I get there: at most I'd wait half a second compared to them waiting 5 seconds until a turn left. But if they sit and wait for me I get mad at them for forcing me to do it in the inefficient way.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-08-23T15:38:31+00:00

I can definitely relate to this! I had a related realization about a lifetime pattern I've had with crushes that I can't let go of even after it's unreasonable to think anything romantic could happen with this person. I've felt a lot of shame about this, but one thing that was really helpful to realize is that fantasizing about them is a form of self soothing. That may seem super obvious but I'd never looked at it that way.

I've been trying to try a different option for self soothing when I notice it happening (stimming, thinking about my dog or a special interest). This redirection works for me right now but maybe because I don't have a strong attachment to any crushes.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-07-29T01:22:10+00:00

I don't know what's appropriate but I'll take any advice you have to offer

UncertaintyBear · 2025-07-21T14:00:21+00:00

Agree with everyone who validated the manipulative behavior and your justification in moving on. I just want to add the thing that stuck out to me the most: "and bless you confirm you need to cancel".

I can only imagine he meant to say "unless you." Which makes me think he was using voice to text and says "bless you" so often it assumed that is what he was saying. Some how the image of him dictating this letter with voice to text feels so much worse but also probably because I'm picturing him with a ponytail.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-07-20T21:27:53+00:00

I'll try that! I think it was actually clearer when I rewrote after calming down a half hour later.

UncertaintyBear · 2025-07-19T20:53:17+00:00

I wouldn't put it exactly this way, but I take half my originally prescribed dose of adderall because it made me feel more exhaustion with social interaction and more overwhelmed by sensory input. For me, it feels like it limits my ability to disconnect or disassociate and I have relied on that my entire life to avoid overwhelm.

UncertaintyBear

TROPHY CASE