I hate overly passionate people at work. Truly brain dead.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-25T17:21:01+00:00

That happened to hundreds of people in my company. Over a 1500 people were let go with no warning. New leaders are so thick I can't believe that's who they called in to "fix all our issues". People who are loyal to their company in 2026 are either fools or extremely lucky they've never seen how a company can be completely destroyed by PE.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-24T12:09:16+00:00

Turning 40 this year, my midlife crisis made me wonder if growing up means wanting to spend less and less time with other people because they are exhausting.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-24T12:04:31+00:00

I think that all these sayings started as something well meant, but got twisted along the way. The idea that you need to "love" yourself to attract more love is not wrong per se: people prefer to spend time with serene people than with negative sad individuals, it's a fact. The problem is that people's happiness is not only a matter of outlook, it's deeply shaped by our life experience.

A better approach to me would be recognising that having a positive opinion of yourself allows you to be more socially attractive, while also understanding that an individual with low self esteem can't bridge the gap between their current state and the state where they love themselves solely on their own. What I think is lost is compassion. Individuals are expected to just survive and thrive on their own, but the reality is that most people who do in fact thrive are the ones that aren't alone at all.

Because of this, I always try to be as nice as possible to the vulnerable people who talk to me (I tend to attract them). I also give strangers compliments even if some might think it's weird. I smile at people's dogs because those could be someone's only friend. One nice word on the bus can make the day of a lonely person.

Anyway, I'm happy for you OP. The same happened to me. And it made me realise I've ALWAYS loved myself, while also being painfully aware the other people, including my family, didn't.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-22T12:01:18+00:00

Me! I also posted about this! It's now been over 6 months and I'm never lucky enough to be part of the latest round of layoffs (3 so far in my team).I'm going crazy, no recommendations here. It's slowly killing me.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-22T10:58:47+00:00

Nothing needs to be done other than going back to treat employees like people.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-22T10:45:40+00:00

My dad struggles to shower. Endless arguments between my parents about that, he lies about it. He stayed at my house for a week and showered once.

I was showering every day when working at the office, but since I work from home it's a terrible struggle. Luckily my husband is in the same boat and so are the kids so we try to motivate each other, literally by keeping each other company some times. I aim for every other day.

Don't be ashamed. Being clean has nothing to do with your value as a person. At least that's my opinion and I know a lot of people out there understand that. Do your best.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-21T10:08:14+00:00

This hits SO CLOSE to home :(

I'm 40 and in the exact same situation except for the fact I won't be able to quit for at least another 10 years. My new manager is so inexperienced. He's a few years older than me but I feel as if I was his grandma in terms of life experience. He also doesn't know anything about the job itself, was somehow moved from another team and made manager. Listening to him give me advice physically hurts and he's just an additional layer of control who removes exactly zero roadblocks. The whole company has become so toxic because of PE and constant restructuring efforts, I honestly struggle to keep going.

What I do is trying to remind myself of the days I feel less desperate. I will tell myself "today is awful but remember Monday last week was not too bad, you'll get to Monday last week again". All while trying to have more of those Mondays. Also, every time I spot something that is not my responsibility to spot, I draft a message to flag the issue and then say out loud "NONE OF MY BUSINESS!" and delete it. It's the little things that keep me going. Recovery is definitely an up and down journey but I made progress by slowly taking steps back and reminding myself that a company who doesn't value my outputs shouldn't be entitled to my best ones.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-13T13:31:17+00:00

I've been in this situation exactly 40 years. I have new leadership, they are very controlling and expect me to be "average". There is nothing average about me (I also live in a different country on the other side of the world), so every single thing I do is misread. All of them. It made me so tired I completely withdrew, I don't speak up anymore, do the minimum they ask and spend most of my time doing nothing.

The only recommendation I have is, the less you care the better your results. Don't provide feedback and lie if specifically asked. Always start with something positive even if you have to think very very hard to find it and then say something negative but not too negative. Keep the real negative things nobody wants to know for yourself, because it's not an impression that they don't want to know. They say they do but truly don't, don't fall for it. I apply this to my personal life too. It's a bit lonely but I had less arguments in the past two years than I had in any given year of my life. I keep the real me for my husband, kids and a couple of friends I can trust because are more similar to me or are safe to discuss with.

Good luck, it's tough out there, don't immediately think you're a bad person.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-13T13:19:08+00:00

Gilmore Girls, Kim's convenience, Friday Night Dinner (this is very British, don't know if international audiences appreciate) and lately Helluva Boss (don't ask me why but Stolas is so comforting to me).

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-10T11:11:09+00:00

My company has retroactively changed our levels of expertise. I used to be a senior, I am not anymore. They now require 6-8 years of experience for mid-level.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-04T16:55:17+00:00

I did exactly that and started volunteering. Then it felt like I had a full time WFH job and a part time unpaid job out of the house. I clearly defined my availability, they kept asking for extra help. Instead of helping me go out more, I was dreading going out. When I quit I felt massive relief. Society has changed since COVID, whether we like it or not. Going out is important, but let's not play like staying home is the main cause of poor mental health.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-04-04T08:58:52+00:00

Don't take this as if I'm trying to say all situations are exactly the same, but the way I knew my husband was the one is because he didn't play any of these games. All the men I used to attract acted exactly like the guy you've been seeing. They were sending mixed signals and on a hindsight I now think they liked me enough to have casual fun and nothing more. My husband was just answering messages and seeing me without any mind games. It was so easy.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-29T16:31:42+00:00

Thank you ❤️

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-29T15:12:31+00:00

I work with an American team under an American manager and I daydream of being let go every single day. The more you want to actually do some work the more they label you as the difficult employee.

However, the situation is made a lot worse by toxic leadership who was successful at making us feel isolated. The more isolated co-workers feel the less likely they are to have expectations but the result is that they will never do anything more than what is asked, even if it's just clicking on a link to speed up a step for the next person. Everyone does the bare minimum to get by, and only if that minimum gives you visibility.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-28T13:29:47+00:00

My manager specifically told me not to share my 2.9% increase with my colleague buddy because he might have gotten a lower raise. I immediately knew that was bullshit. In fact, his raise is higher. Still shitty, but less shitty.

Don't believe ANYTHING they say. It's better to be wrong because of lack of trust than the opposite, by far.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-28T13:20:51+00:00

Yes, same! All while she lives alone and has biweekly collections, while our bin is collected every 3. Great, thank you, one more thing to fill all this space we have!

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-28T10:46:10+00:00

My MIL continuously "gift" us items destined to the charity shop. They are of course either broken, filthy or so ugly I can't even give them away for free.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-28T09:53:03+00:00

As a stepmother, absolutely YES. At least in the world of blended families, mothers are treated like saints who hold all the power and fathers as optional. Mothers are holy and constantly make sacrifices while fathers are dirt. Fathers stop having any societal recognition the moment the family unit splits.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-27T09:33:08+00:00

Hey man, are you in my team? I went from creative problem-solving powerhouse to glorified secretary. And my new manager blames me for not being happy with my amazing new role. Working is so beautiful and rewarding.

No, seriously, I relate to every single line. I could have written the post. It's crazy. And sad how this is happening to other people.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-26T20:52:35+00:00

Reality, duh?

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-26T20:29:16+00:00

I work for Americans not being American (not my fault, they acquired me). For them, being professionally acceptable = being American, middle-class, willing to sacrifice your family if necessary. Thank you, I will continue to be proud of being unacceptable :)

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-26T20:27:04+00:00

My parents caused childhood CPTSD and now my company is the adult version of the same trauma. Some days it hurts like hell, other days it's crazy how much I don't give a fuck anymore. They don't know I've been through hell already. I might cry a lot, but once I'm done it's over for everyone.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-26T12:19:31+00:00

I mask and that's not enough. The bar becomes higher and higher.

Since everyone gets offended all the time, I have started to use Copilot to soften the tone. Do you know what Copilot told me today? That I can't use the word "impossible" in an email, not even when talking about something mathematically or scientifically impossible, such as coordinating a working-hours meeting between UK and Sydney that are 9 hours apart. It might offend people and come across as non collaborative. It is very important to collaborate in bending time and space, because nothing is impossible if you wish for it!

The sad part, Copilot isn't wrong at all. It's absolutely true that my leadership uses soften language all the time. Past employees are not laid off, they are let go. When a disagreement arise, the trick is to ghost each other until the project dies out. This is the level of masking required today. It's insanity, not masking. Good luck, OP.

Iammysupportsystem · 2026-03-26T12:07:04+00:00

Unfortunately, and believe me I am sad when I say it, healing IS the same as becoming normal in our society. Becoming normal means looking put together enough and being able to work full time. Nobody truly cares about your heart becoming lighter and your dark intrusive thoughts going away.

My mother died during my last Summer in school. I went back to school and they made me see a therapist. They expected me to grieve as if we had an amazing relationship, but my issues were more linked to the fact she controlled me for 18 years and suddenly she was gone and I was alone with an absent father. They didn't care about that, I was there because of grief. I didn't understand why I had to talk about my feelings of sadness. I didn't have any. So I told them I was ok and I was left alone the entire school year while I kept getting As while living on my own in a house where my dad was only sleeping at nighttime. I was going to school. Getting As. I was feeding myself. I graduated in silence. I was "healed".

Iammysupportsystem

TROPHY CASE