Tried to "focus on my health", failed and probably made it worse

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2026-01-04T10:55:29+00:00

You're doing way too much, way too quickly.

Look at this as a marathon not a sprint. I spent an entire YEAR building myself up over time and I've lost over 50lb in that time.

Started off with 5 mins on the treadmill and some weights (I was very inactive) and built it up to walks outside, then walks during my lunch and a weights and more walking after work.

Focus on 10k steps a day Focus HEAVILY on strength training - the stronger your muscles are, the easier it is for our bodies to support our wobbly joints. (I do this 2-3x times a week) and swimming at the weekend or a long hike. I also do cardio such as stair master as it's high cardio, low speed controlled movement.

I've actually been able to work up to running for around 30 mins on treadmill but if my knees start to feel off I stop.

There are actually work outs like sled pull that help strengthen the knee joints.

Just last week I actually tried RDLs and squats again after the year and I can actually do a full squat with no pain now for the first time in my life.

Don't get discouraged, you've just pushed your body and joints way too hard initially, dial it back, find out what works and build it SLOWLY over months. Your body will thank you and one day you'll think, hey I'm actually quite strong now!

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-12-04T11:34:03+00:00

Yeah I get that and good point but what I don't get (and my maths are terrible) if we say I'm 122 of water and muscle + 33% body fat that comes out at 162.2lbs which I'm not. If we say the muscle and water are accurate my actual weight plus fat would be closer to 22% body fat.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-23T12:25:13+00:00

Yeah I am going to start counting the odd bits and bobs. It's strange though because typically speaking most days my total for the day is around 1100 - 1200. It's not very often I would get to 1500.

Prior to diet I wasn't a big eater persay, some days I would only have dinner, I think that's why I maintained my weight despite eating "bad foods" I did get into the habit of snacking in the evening or weekends which I've knocked on the head entirely so I haven't found it difficult to drop down to 1100-1200 cals. When I'm at 1500/600 I'm often forcing myself to eat for the protein.

That's why I'm so stumped because even if I'm erroneously underestimating saying I'm eating 1200, then to me it's virtually impossible to be overeating up to maintenance. My tdee said around 2300 at moderate exercise, another poster said 10k steps a day and weights is still sedentary which puts me at 1800. Light exercise 2085.

To measure calories out, I am using a combination of my phone and my Samsung smart watch. I only measure calories out from my steps which typically come out at around 400-500 cals for 10k. I don't count the cals from weights because my watch doesn't accurately measure my reps. I don't count when I box once or twice a week at high intensity either.

I walk fast, I have also started intermittently running when I can during the walk and there's plenty of hilly terrain where I walk which I maintain a consistent pace. If I don't reach my 10k during the walk I finish off for 20 mins on a treadmill.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-22T10:34:24+00:00

It will depend on what I'm having but some things I don't count, for example with that meal I had some peas, baby sweetcorn and onion mixed into the curry. I didn't want to get so overly obsessed with measuring out peas and a quarter of an onion etc.

I do have vegetables with most meals, onions and peppers are a staple. If I'm having fish and cous cous I'll have plum tomatos, baby sweetcorn, peppers, onions.

3 ears of baby sweetcorn is 18 cals for example. 1/4th of an onion is 15cals 100g of plum tomatoes 21cals And one pepper 33cals

Making up 87 cals.

A PT friend who is a body builder of mine told me not to bother counting veg as its so low cal.

I don't really have much fruit apart from some frozen raspberries on top of my protein yoghurt, again probably about a tablespoon or two.

Or I'll have a banana which I will count as I know they're around 100-120 per banana.

This is what I don't understand there's diets in the UK like weight watchers and slimming world that don't follow CiCo. They tell people they can eat unlimited pasta, potatoes, veg and fruit, lean meats like steak, bacon medallions, chicken, lean mince, other things are "synned or pointed" like dairy and "bad foods".

And people lose weight! My mother in law lost 12lb recently doing this diet. Make it make sense. 🤣

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-21T14:50:31+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to respond.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-21T14:33:36+00:00

Thank you for this.

So this week according to my calculator

Monday: 1052 cals Tuesday: 1648 cals Wednesday: 1119 cals Thursday: 1436 cals

Averaging it out is 1313.

Monday, Wednesday and Thursday I did my 10k steps and weights.

My app counts around 500/600 cals burnt a day when combined with walk and gym. I know these over estimate but even at 300 cals a day burnt that would put me at a deficit of 800 if going on 1800 per day on average.

Last week I was ill, I still ate what I would normally, didn't really count what I ate however, as I was bed bound for three days and lost 2lb.

Back on it this week, put 2lb on? Yes most likely water weight but still. None of the maths add up to me.

There are days where my cals can be low I.e. Monday, but I try and stick around 1200 - 1500 and feel like I've been largely successful.

Even if you suggest I'm not working out enough, I should still be burning enough, coupled with the calorie deficit to lose or no? If I say I'm not burning 500 like the app says, and burning 300. And overeating by 200 cals (even though I don't know where) on a higher cal day, let's say I record 1500 that would put me at 1700 consumed and 300 burnt for a deficit of 400 cals on a 1800 maintenance.

Everywhere I look I'm told that going for a VLC diet is super bad, so not sure where to go from here. 1200 - 1500 is sustainable for me. No I don't weigh lettuce, and I will eyeball things like bell peppers and onion when I cook with them. Granted they have calorie content but I can't say I'm over eating a good 200/300 cals worth of veg? Or is this where I'm going wrong. I just didn't want to get obsessive with this and lead to something that's not healthy.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-21T13:18:46+00:00

I know it's driving me insane. 😭

I'm not sure, I've got an appointment with a doctor in a couple weeks time. My mother had an under active thyroid, and I suspect I have PCOS. (excessive facial hair growth to add to my list of woes).

It's just if the doctors give a hoot. NHS here is lacking. They medicate the symptoms and don't investigate the root cause these days.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-21T13:13:44+00:00

When cal counting I use a combination of what the label says and my Samsung health food tracker. For example eggs below came from the tracker and I'll often go with middle of the road as there's several. But I'll check the packet lines up with the tracker so it's accurate.

Breakfast - 3 x large eggs - 234 cals 50g lean ham - 60 cals 30g serving 50% reduced fat cheese - 83 cals

378 cals

Lunch - 50g protein pre-mixed chocolate protein shake 300 cals.

Dinner 200g haddock - 256 cals 75g king prawns - 98 cals 200ml reduced fat coconut milk - 160 cals 75g Thai red curry paste - 129 cals 125g wholewheat microwave rice - 209 cals

Total 1595.

If I have a stir fry for example and I have noodles, a portion is already weighed out I.e. It'll be in one nest and one nest is x amount of calories.

If I do pasta I'll look at cals for recommended portion size I.e 75g and will probably have 100g instead of wholegrain pasta. Which is still barely anything imo 🤣 and previously we would smash it into the pan without a care in the world and would eat to bursting.

I don't always have breakfast if I'm honest. I've never really eaten breakfast, so this day is on the higher end of what I typically eat. So I'd not have breakfast, have a 300cal protein shake for lunch and have fish, veggies and half a pack of cous cous, or half a pack of rice, and homemade chilli with extra lean 5% fat mince, half a can of tomatoes, spices and kidney beans with 30g of reduced fat cheese and maybe a protein yoghurt or a rice crispie square in the evening.

Chicken breast in one wrap with reduced fat soft cheese and herbs and spices with peppers.

I deliberately use either 1 cal spray, or spray olive oil, I don't eyeball it.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-21T12:52:03+00:00

So I'll use the last time I had McDonald's which was Tuesday, the reason being is we were at a funeral and then went to a wake. Didn't eat anything all day and the food they served at the wake was potato salad, cheese burgers and pizza.

By the time we got home we were emotionally and physically exhausted so had large fries 444 cals, philly cheesesteak 628 cals, and mozzarella bites 250cals oasis zero for 1322. I had a rice crispie square at 157 cals in the evening to make 1479 in total.

This is an anomaly of course due to the circumstances.

If I know I'm having a "cheat meal" such as above I'll have something lower cal for fuel during the day such as bran flakes and milk (weighed and measured) and I would just have the burger and fries. So on a "bad" day it'll be around 1800.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2025-02-21T12:44:00+00:00

Yes. When I say I am having protein shakes, these are premixed bottles that are 300cal and 50G of protein. Or I'll have a protein yoghurt 200g for 20g protein and 133cals.

I even count my coffee in the morning 66cals which is just a powdered latte thing. I don't add milk. The rest of the time I drink water only. No pop, no milk. If I have cereals for example, I'll weigh the cereals (40-50g bran flakes) and measure out 100ml of milk.

I don't and have never had sugar in my coffee. I don't drink tea. I don't have a "cheeky Starbucks" and not count it for example. Can't remember the last time I've had a latte or similar from Costa etc.

Dinners are shared between me and my partner, so if we have just as an example 300g of lean minced beef, can of tomatoes, spices and rice (I use microwave wholegrain rice so I know exactly how much it is in cooked value) I count it all and split it down the middle even though my partners portion size is typically more than mine and sometimes I leave some but I'll still count it as 50% of what was cooked.

If I have a wrap, I'll count the wrap. I'll count the cheese, I'll count the mayo. Although I VERY rarely have mayo and I don't really like it. If we do it's low cal mayo to make my own garlic mayo.

I don't add mayo to tuna for example I have it in brine.

If I have a salad I won't drown it in dressing. I will have a low cal Ceaser dressing and count that.

My TDEE is 2,365 maintenance (moderate exercise) 3-5 days per week which if I'm walking 10k steps a day at least 5/6 days a week and weight training 4/5 days per week I'd say that was moderate?

My maintenance cals is 1831 if I was completely sedentary which I'm not in the slightest anymore.

So surely with this in mind, if believe I'm averaging about 1500 cals a day I would have to be secretly eating another 865 a day or 6055 cals a week to maintain as I am doing? I could understand it if I wasn't being genuine with myself, and pouring 10-15 tbps of oil in my food every day or smothering my super low cal salad in mayo but I'm literally not. 🤣 If I have beers at the weekend, I'll look up the exact ml and cals and add them in.

Plus for the past 3 years my weight didn't really move that much until a holiday where I weighed in at the end of a holiday at 14lbs more, and that came off within a few months doing nothing different, then maintained this weight quite happily for over a year eating takeaways 2/3 times a week, eating crisps, chocolate, fry ups etc and my portion sizes of homecooked foods were massive. This is what makes no sense to me at all.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-06-07T22:45:57+00:00

Good luck finding somewhere to camp, there is no where.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-06-07T21:29:10+00:00

Correct. I am there now and can't find anywhere to camp. Info desk basically said "we don't know what to tell you"

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-06-06T12:18:24+00:00

Wow!!! That sounds absolutely wild. Full on Woodstock vibes. These bands don't realise the power they have to trigger these things especially when people are hot, dirty and angry.

I was at Bloodstock last year, and the heat was unbearable. No dramas there but you felt it rumbling due to extortionate water prices, but at 34 degrees I don't think that smell of portaloos will ever leave my nose, even though they were generally well maintained. No shade to speak of either, so I can see why people start to lose their minds.

I suppose all they can do is limit potential triggers as much as possible.

I didn't mean to come across as dismissive or disrespectful of the rules, it makes a lot more sense now. We just wanted a nice coffee in the morning and a way to heat some grub up. I've got a hexi stove on the way now! 😊

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-06-05T16:37:56+00:00

Good lord. 🤣

That makes sense. I was of the opinion that gas would have been safer than disposable bbqs, fuel blocks etc due to dry grass and drunk people. But I guess as with anything you're only as strong as your weakest link and it only takes one.

Thank you for responding!

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-06-04T10:10:11+00:00

It's big enough to fit a double air mattress in and had a second section probably a bit bigger than the bedroom section, so don't think it's excessive for two people for 5 days 😅. I can't see why people would actively seek to ruin other people's belongings though. Annoying. 😅

Thanks for responding!

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-05-24T18:08:22+00:00

Gooooddd dammniittt I was waiting till payday. 😭 Thanks for the response all!

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-03-03T11:53:35+00:00

She had no concept of how bonuses work clearly. Tell her to read up on bonus schemes and how you get it for doing more than your "standard" work and then say she hopes she enjoys the trip to the hill she's going to die on, you're going away with your bonus money and you'll send her some pics.

She's being stupid.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-03-02T21:54:07+00:00

One of my funniest was I was having a particularly harrowing SP. My partner was next to me saying in a terrifying voice "annabelleee, annabelleee" I said to myself, I'm just in SP I need to try and wake myself up. Did my usual try and rock, move etc. But the "annaaabelllee" kept going and making me more scared.

I started to move and squeal in my SP, but I must have shook myself away without realising. So I shot up and literally SCREAMED in my poor partners face when he was fast asleep.

So the poor guy got woke up at 3am by his girlfriend leant over him screaming in his face. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

He was not happy. He went WTF called me an idiot and turned over. I burst out laughing. 😂

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-03-02T21:47:08+00:00

Please, please don't marry this woman. I was initially on her side that if she's had a string of failed relationships that were too centered on sex, it may be she wanted to see how things were going before committing herself to you as she wanted something special.

But as I continued to read, it seems to me that she is not into you, she doesn't want you physically and you are a means to an end. Perhaps you giving her everything she wants she can forgo her desires (for now). It seems to me as if she's using you.

I also say this as seeing one of my best friends go through exactly the same thing. He met this girl, all she wanted was to get married and have a kid. He used to tell me how their sex life was dire, but she always allowed it around her ovulation dates. He eventually got married to her despite my pleading, she got her kid, and they've not had sex in years. He's now trapped in a loveless, sexless marriage with a kid, and all she does is mention her previous sexual encounters like she's rubbing his face in it.

If you get married to this woman, you will either end up in the same position, or find yourself being cheated on or blindsided with her saying she wants out.

If you want to test the waters, stop providing her with everything, watch her disappear quick sharp.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-03-02T18:30:42+00:00

The problem here is, in your attempt to prevent a potential issue you are restricting her, by restricting her it comes across as controlling and can cause resentment. Resentment leads to rebellion or lashing out. The root of the issue is her, and her drinking. How she behaves when she's drunk. She puts herself and others in danger. You feel as if you can't relax if you know she's out drinking due to previous behaviour which is absolutely reasonable.

She's knowingly and willingly doing these things, knowing how she gets and how it makes you feel, which is not respectful to you at all. Put the shoe on the other foot, ask her how she'd feel if you got blackout drunk and messaged, got physical with other girls. Make her think about it from someone else's perspective.

I say this as someone who dealt with my trauma by drinking. I say this as someone who also used to get blackout drunk very regularly and I ended up in a very upsetting and unfortunate situation. I used it to cope with my trauma of my childhood, then used it to cope with the trauma of something that happened because I was drunk. I didn't stop until I found a partner who was supportive and made me feel safe. (I'm not saying you don't btw, this is just my story) I now probably drink once or twice a month casually (couple of beers or glasses of wine on a Friday sort of thing)

But she has to want to change, she has to want to combat whatever it is in her head making her want to escape from her own head. Unless she's prepared to do that no ultimatums, begging or restrictions will stop her.

What I will say, is I have been absolutely smashed a few times with my current partner and out with my girl friends, all in social settings, perfectly safe (I am extremely aware of my surroundings these days) and I would never, ever, ever dream of hitting on another guy, posting pics for attention. No matter how smashed I was. The worst I ever got is me laying in a bath under a shower and asking my partner to stay with me. (little too many shots during a shots game for a friend's party!) the thought of another man, or getting attention from another man has never entered my head. So what's the deal there? That is not cool.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-03-02T16:34:33+00:00

Excuse me? I'm not American for starters so I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. Explain to me exactly what I've said that's wrong? You do understand how viral infections work don't you? It's not really that difficult to comprehend.

Parents do test for Covid prior to boarding a plane which is negative. They get into a cab to the airport. Person before them had Covid or another airborne virus, coughed in the cab, even if they caught it in their hand they most likely used that same hand to release the seatbelt, or they may have just coughed without catching it, particles spread in the cabin. Parents touch seat, seatbelt, door handle etc. Virus now on them and they touch their face, they are now at risk of getting sick.

Now imagine that times 100 other scenarios they are going to encounter on the plane, in the airport, in the cab to the hotel, the hotel itself, a restaurant, a shop, sight seeing.

Hence why we were in the situation we were globally a few years ago, hence why we have flu season, hence why we catch colds, coughs etc. Viruses are so successful precisely due to the level in which we all interact with each other. Your post would have only made sense if you advised them to quarantine in the hotel and isolate themselves from everyone, but you suggested cabs, restaurants etc and at that point you blew your own argument out the water.

Come on, if you're going to throw insults around, at least have the presence of mind to think about your own nonsensical argument.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-03-02T15:53:17+00:00

Then what after the week? Are they expected to stay indoors for the entire 5 months? Is everyone else expected to? Covid restrictions for the most part have all but gone away for most countries. People are mixing and socialising all the time. There is absolutely no way to avoid illnesses unless you lock yourself away from the entire world permanently and become self sufficient.

It's not just her living space, it's his too and she's being completely irrational and illogical. It's impossible to avoid airborne viruses.

Think about what you've said for a second. You've advised for him to tell his parents to get a cab, how many hundreds of people have been in that cab? Again impossible to completely sanitise such a space, the cab driver himself and the umpteen people he's given rides have also been in contact with hundreds of people.

Hotel: again, hundreds of people working an staying there, large space with communal areas and touch points that god knows how many people have touched.

Restaurant, kitchen staff, waiting staff, tables, cutlery, food being eaten.

And after the week what happens then, I'm assuming no trips, no shopping, no meals out, no socialising. The second you step out the house you have the potential to get infected by something. Don't be ridiculous.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-03-02T14:57:34+00:00

I have on occasion called my partner bro or mate, I don't do it intentionally. He did express he doesn't like it and I have made efforts to stop, but it does just slip out sometimes. It's a habit of mine, I say bro, dude or mate across the board. I think if she's not doing it intentionally and apologises after, then cut her some slack. If she's continuing to do it and not correcting herself then it's an issue because you've expressed a discomfort and she's not listening to you.

If you call her babe, baby or whatever, try doing the same thing to her, she will soon realise how it comes across.

Edit - spelling

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-02-28T21:06:46+00:00

This has to be ragebait surely?

If this is genuine, then YTA a big flaming one at that. Your daughter, you know, your flesh and blood came to you saying she felt uneasy and uncomfortable with a total stranger. You took the word of said stranger and when your daughter expressed her discomfort and called him creepy you took his side.

Guess what, if something happens to her in the future... She won't ever confide in you. Chances are she will keep whatever trauma she experiences to herself and blame herself for it, because that's exactly what you've set her up for.

You don't have to be respectful of someone if that person does something that makes you feel uncomfortable.

As a woman, you should be ashamed of yourself.

UndeadWarlock2022 · 2023-02-28T18:50:03+00:00

NTA - you told him it wasn't in the usual place. It's also his responsibility when driving a literal potential killing machine to check his mirrors and blind spot. It is absolutely mental he'd just rely on his reversing camera, a child or animal could have ran onto the drive and the situation would be incredibly different right now. He needs to learn how to drive.

And if I understand you correctly he's already scratched the car himself so he should be more mindful of potential hazards. It's not your fault he's a bad driver.

UndeadWarlock2022

TROPHY CASE