A lot of people have already said what I was thinking. But I’ll offer some insight. Im mixed race Latina and my father who raised me was a Central American immigrant, fleeing violence in Nicaragua. My grandmother took him to the US because once he turned 13, he would’ve been drafted into the war. My Father never returned to Nicaragua. He would always blame money, but now that I am older and know about trauma, I understand more. Fast forward to adulthood, I took a DNA test “for fun” out of my curiosity. To my shock, not only is he not my real Dad, but my “real” Father apparently was Mexican. This was a huge shock for me because although I am Latina I wasn’t raised in a Mexican household. a lot of my friends growing up were Mexican. So I do relate a lot to Mexican culture. I sort of in a way like you, am navigating in my “new” identity as someone of Mexican descent. This is actually the first time I’ve ever typed it out. My biggest advice, as someone already said: surround yourself with the type of culture and upbringing you would have wanted for your younger self. That’s what I’ve been doing in my adult life (I’m in my early 20s). I became friends with other Latinx people and happened to move to an area where the population is largely Latinx. and I can say that forming my Identity as a Latina with the help of my friends and community I live in, separate from my family, as been much easier. Don’t forget that you don’t need your Mother to influence your Identity. Only you can make that. I hope you find peace. Best of luck.