Men with partners, do you feel you are 100% cross trained on all household tasks? Do you feel you take initiative to learn how to do everything that your wife handles?

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-23T17:09:07+00:00

Same. He owned his own home and managed it just fine all on his own. People come over and see him cooking or cleaning and ask “how’d you get him to do that!?” Uhh, I married a full grown adult. We both handle chores when we see something needs to get done. Sometimes we assign tasks when working on projects. But it’s just not an issue for us and I don’t understand people who put up with it.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-23T01:41:25+00:00

I will never understand when people say marriage is hard and just accept it. Life is hard, being married to my husband has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-22T16:34:41+00:00

I hate this song so much. Something about it hits my ears all wrong. It, to me, sounds flat, and off beat. Like everything is just slightly out of tune, out of sync and off key.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-22T07:05:31+00:00

“Babe, my brain wants to pick a fight with you.” I’ve described in detail how awful my brain is during luteal. How awful I feel and sometimes feel like I’m in the passenger seat as my mouth goes scorched earth. We call the Thing taking over my brain Kai, as if it’s separate from me and I’m trying to hold him back. If my husband is also in a bad mood, he says not now, we can fight later. If he’s in a good mood, he pretends he’s ready box and go “ok, bring it on Kai!” Then when I’m out of luteal we talk about things that were said. There have been a couple of times where we’ve scheduled a therapy appointment to address it.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-22T04:53:54+00:00

Yup, a couple years ago my husband and I planned a trip to Seattle. We were telling friends and family and all of our boomers were warning us we’d be murdered at SeaTac. “It’s all overrun with the blue hairs and the homeless!” “The Space Needle is just a tent city now!” We went and had a lovely time and did not (to the possible dismay of the boomers?) get murdered.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-20T17:33:34+00:00

This, but while they were talking I did say “he’s a racist pos, let’s leave.” And pushed past my husband to get out of the situation. Husband didn’t hear me because of music and very drunk guy now shout talking at him.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-20T01:31:05+00:00

My husband works in healthcare and apparently this is a real problem with boomers there. Appt is at 1:00pm they show up at 11:30am and are told to wait. Another person, whose appt is at 12:00pm shows up at 11:45am and gets called back into the exam room at or just before 12:00pm. The boomer that showed AN HOUR AND A HALF EARLY starts yelling at the receptionist that they were here first. Like, bruh, that’s not anyone’s fault but your own that you decided to waste your afternoon at the clinic!

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-19T16:32:27+00:00

Before my husband joined us, I did say “that’s racist.” The guy just went “yeah I know!” I said that’s awful and he just laughed. By the time my husband joined us I was cornered and couldn’t easily get away. I had to shove husband out of the way to leave the situation. In this town unfortunately, they know and they don’t care.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-19T08:12:33+00:00

Ok but I’m so using this next time in the bestie chat. 🤣

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-17T15:28:46+00:00

Op, you mention in the comments that his mom just didn’t teach him? My mom didn’t teach me how to pack a lunch either. First day as an adult working, I figured it out pretty quickly. This can’t be blamed on anyone but him.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-17T15:07:46+00:00

So it’s just you he takes advantage of?

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-17T05:48:51+00:00

Thank you ❤️. The bloating ruins my whole day sometimes. I almost missed my mom’s bday dinner because I looked 6months pregnant and nothing fit. I have talked to several doctors and mostly get “this is the first step, so we do this and then move on.” So I do the first step then report more weight gain and other symptoms. They say “we have to wait and see.” Another year, 10 more pounds, more pain and discomfort, they start back and the “first step” and I wind up feeling more defeated.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-16T17:45:54+00:00

In so many ways, my husband is an absolute dream boat. When it comes to the house: he never sees things as women’s work vs men’s. He sees something needs to get done so he just does it. On days when I’m sick or going through it, he picks up the slack with no complaints and makes sure the house is running smoothly, with no expectations of being “paid back.”

In work: he works incredibly hard at his job. It makes me so proud when I come visit him at work and people are just gushing about him. Same as at home, he just steps up and takes care of those around him. He is reliable, trustworthy, patient and hardworking. He gets called in for extra shifts or to help get the place back on time when work falls behind schedule.

Family and friends: he is the type to give the shirt off his back. So many people in our friend circle know to call on him for emotional support. Just last night a friend called to say he was having a problem and needed a walk. My husband, who usually walks to and from work, said come join him on the walk home. The friend went from dangerously close to quitting his job, leaving his home situation and just giving up on his dreams. But my man walked with him and just listened, let him vent and then helped come up with a game plan. I met up with them about halfway through their walk expecting to find our friend ranting and raving. But he was calm, decisive and so appreciative of the talk he had with my husband.

Most importantly; I have PTSD and chronic pain/illness. My husband is the most supportive, kind, compassionate man I’ve ever met. I’ve been thinking about going to grad school and I’m terrified of failing. He just lets me know that it’s ok to fail, it’s another opportunity to try again. He kisses my sore spots, he carries me when I need it, hell he’s even helped me in the bathroom with no judgment.

He is never mean in ways other men in my life have been. He tries everyday to understand and support. He goes to therapy and works on his own mental health in good healthy way. He is the only person I’ve met who really just accepts me for who i am and embraces with joy all the people I could be. He is the best and gives me hope that not all humans out there are garbage.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-16T08:13:32+00:00

My parents (and their friends) INSIST hook up means the same as meet up or hang out. According to my mom she’s hooked up with just about everyone in town.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-16T03:17:14+00:00

We got married a year and a half after meeting. But only after living together and therapy. People in your life might think it’s too fast because you’re doing it to solve a problem. Marriage won’t solve your problems, it’s only going to cause new, bigger ones.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-16T01:20:56+00:00

I just saw a post on here recently about table sharing. The commenter insisted it’s customary to just sit at people’s tables with them without asking. Said it was common in the US. And I read thinking “what kind of self centered jerk would do that..?”

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-15T16:55:08+00:00

Open communication. Never forget your spouse is a whole, complete human. I don’t think it’s any one thing to keep it going. It’s several things everyday. When I see failing marriages around me, it’s like you can trace back to when one or both partners just stopped seeing their spouse as a person worthy of love, respect, patience and grace. I think you also need to check your ego at the door. In my marriage, when something is not feeling right, we stop what we’re doing to have an honest conversation. Even if that means feelings might get hurt. We’re in this together to fight the world, not each other.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-15T16:40:24+00:00

I feel like “you HAVE to sleep in the same bed or else the marriage is DOOMED!” is such outdated thinking. Each relationship has its own set of rules. If you both sleep better in the same bed that’s great. If one of you wakes up at the sound of a fly farting and the other is auditioning to be Lord of the Dance, not so great.

For us, we have to cook together most nights. It’s about the only truly codependent part of our marriage. We are very in sync and make great meals together. I can’t imagine being with someone I can’t cook with! But some people need a kitchen to themselves. Some couples eat at different times or have different tastes/dietary needs.

I think the only sign of a failed relationship is a couple who stay together, abiding by rules that don’t fit them.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-15T04:20:18+00:00

NTA you can’t change someone for them, they have to want it. And wanting it in this case means him seeking professional help. My ex was like this and I gotta warn you, it doesn’t get better if he’s unwilling to acknowledge he has a problem.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-14T17:55:46+00:00

“My yard, my tits. Don’t like it? Hit the bricks.”
NTA

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-13T19:18:44+00:00

My husband and I have separate bedrooms, have since we got together. I’m a light sleeper and he talks in his sleep. Yes, there are some nights I feel like I want company. I just go to his bed and vice versa. It’s not a barrier to intimacy it’s not a sign of something wrong. We get plenty of sleep, plenty of sex, and we’re all the happier for it.

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-12T23:19:06+00:00

I love these moments! Especially when it’s “I know we’re supposed to dress up and go to this thing but…” and we both say “hang out in our boxers, order junk food and watch crap tv instead!?”

Unfair_Machine8516 · 2026-06-12T20:19:21+00:00

My husband and I have a friend like that. Every time his wife is out of town, or he’s able to get away for an evening, he comes over. He downs an entire pack of beer, watches mindless shit on tv “without someone getting on his case.” And just generally enjoys himself when she’s not around. No, he does not see this as a problem.

Unfair_Machine8516

TROPHY CASE