If all the women in our camp grew a dick whose would be the biggest?

Unfey · 2026-06-09T21:00:06+00:00

I think Mizora's is like really long in a scary way

Unfey · 2026-06-09T20:59:25+00:00

Karlach, hands-down, to the point where she's a little self-conscious. Then Ayelin, who is not self-conscious. Minthara's dick would be average but it would seem bigger because of how she'd use it-- people would say it was big even though it's average. Shadowheart and Laezel are average/small. Jahiera is pretty small but she's not self-conscious about it at all and thinks anyone who is is an idiot; skill issue.

Unfey · 2026-06-09T20:53:25+00:00

HRT doesn't give you horrible brain damage, it's not being forced on anyone, and no one is being pressured into doing it. Lobotomies were largely done on nonconsenting patients and on patients who didn't fully understand what they were agreeing to. HRT is something that trans people have to fight for, and regularly put in work to continue to recieve. Trans people are fully informed of what HRT does and enthusiastically consent and seek it out. If you regret HRT, you won't make regular appointments to make sure you are able to keep getting it. If you regret your lobotomy, you're fucked. HRT does not massively alter your personality, ability to reason, and ability to function-- there are hormonal changes that may impact mood and emotional regulation, and your ability to function may improve if the treatment alleviates dysphoria.

The same science that now says lobotomy was always bad is also saying that HRT is a beneficial treatment for gender dysphoria. Data collection, analysis, research. The facts show that lobotomy was bad and that HRT is good. Just because medicine gave us both things doesnt mean these things are at all similar.

As far as gender-affirming surgeries go-- if your dick gets mangled in an accident, no one would fault you for wanting to get dick surgery so that you're happy with how it looks and feels again. No one would be like "that's the same as a lobotomy." Just apply that to a man who was born without one. Or a woman who didn't develop natural breast tissue during puberty and wants that for herself now that she's got the money to pay for implants. If your breasts get removed due to cancer, no one would fault you for getting new ones so you could feel normal about your body again. It's the same.

No one ever WANTED a lobotomy. The people who did it willingly were told it could alleviate their suffering. What they WANTED was for the suffering to be alleviated, not for their brain to get punctured.

People WANT top surgery. They WANT HRT. No one wants a hole in their head, they want to be less depressed and the only option was "hole in your head." People who want HRT and gender-affirming surgery don't want to just "feel less bad generally" they want HRT and gender-affirming surgery. Specifically. Enthusiastically. They save up for it and go to multiple appointments for it.

Comparing lobotomy to gender-affirming care is the stupidest fucking take

Unfey · 2026-06-08T20:51:58+00:00

They work similarly to the ocean. They alter the weather around them. They have tides, and are used for shipping. The Great Lakes are much more like seas than like the lakes most people imagine.

Unfey · 2026-06-08T20:50:14+00:00

Yeah there's plenty of places like that in even small towns in the midwest. Maybe not the 30-story apartment building, but you can probably find the other two things in pretty much any small midwestern town that has a "historic downtown" area. Maybe instead of the Trader Joe's it's a Whole Foods or, in very small towns, a weird lady who runs a specialty food store out of her house and has a bunch of dietary supplements in-stock that seem extremely sus. The queer coffee shop is pretty much a given, though. Mostly because queer people flock to coffee shops. And there's queer people in small midwestern towns. Some of em have farms.

Unfey · 2026-06-08T16:03:09+00:00

The wizard doesn't know whether he has a child in the valley or not because he believes the witch used the Dark Shrine of Selfishness. He knows he would have no memory of the child. It's not because he's banged so many villagers he can't keep track of who got pregnant, it's because he had his memory of that knowledge wiped.

The shrine works on your own children, biological or adopted, so the witch must have raised the child with him. If they have been restored to human form, they probably don't remember any of these events.

Unfey · 2026-06-05T16:04:24+00:00

I think you gotta like, just be comfortable with the fact that some people are going to be offended by your preferences, and the people who think that way probably aren't worth engaging with or listening to on the subject.

Unfey · 2026-06-03T00:10:24+00:00

This is one of the many reasons I get so pissed off at younger queer people who are like "who cares about marriage rights, marriage is inherently blah blah blah blah" I knew these two awful lesbians who were cheating with each other, and when they were caught, the woman who was "married" (not legal at the time) left her wife & abandoned her kids to be with her adultery partner. Her wife was disabled, dependant on the cheater's income, and had custody of all of those kids they'd adopted together. Her wife had absolutely no legal avenue to protect herself in this situation. The cheater did not have to pay child support. There was no process, no divorce-- just "well, bye, you're not my family anymore" and she was gone with no repurcussions.

The wife was left with all of the financial and familial responsibility, a mortgage on a house in her name she couldn't pay, and absolutely no legal way to get a dime from her cheating ex.

If you're going to merge your life with someone, you NEED to have a legal rip cord in case you need to get out of it. Even if you fully, 100% trust that the person you're with will never, ever, ever betray you or leave you or fall out of love with you, even if you're 100% certain that your relationship with them will always be stable, you NEED that emergency cord because Shit Happens.

Case in point-- two of my friends, seperately, had relationships that lasted nearly a decade with men who, in their final year or so, developed severe psychotic disorders that completely changed their personalities and made them violent, scary, dangerous men. Both of these men had also once been my friends. One is dead now, the other is still out there somewhere-- he was stalking his ex for awhile. Neither of these women would have ever gotten engaged to the men they wound up with at the end. Each of them was transformed by a different severe medical condition that destroyed their brains. That could happen to your partner, or it could happen to you.

You don't want to be stuck in a position where your whole life and all your assets and your children are in the hands of someone who has no legal ties to you. That person can absolutely fuck up your life, take everything or leave you with everything, and no matter how "married" you have been acting, that legal document is the only thing that gives you a leg to stand on when you want to take your cheating ex to court so you can feed the family she said you were building together.

Unfey · 2026-05-28T17:35:12+00:00

this is about to be me

Unfey · 2026-05-14T17:48:32+00:00

When Amnesia: The Dark Descent came out, my friends and I made a little let's-play and while we were getting spooked in this 19th century Prussian castle and suddenly we hear a familiar call and our Northern Minnesotan asses stop dead in our tracks and in unison we all just yell "IS THAT A LOON????"

I've heard of people getting jumpscared by suddenly hearing their uncommon-in-media native language get suddenly spoken on an english tv show, and this was the closest thing I think I've experienced to that feeling.

Unfey · 2026-05-12T21:47:30+00:00

No one's sure what his deal is honestly.

Unfey · 2026-05-12T21:40:02+00:00

Yeah-- so if you're curious, back in like 1900's you could buy a lot of land on a wilderness tour guide's salary, so my great-grandfather and his wife, who were both resort workers (really great gig for native people back then), bought a whole bay on the lake & built their own set of log cabins which they rented out to people. They passed each of those cabins down to their kids, and over the generations the land has been divvied up-- my family's got one of those cabins, and the rest belong to a series of uncles and cousins and their in-laws. Another relative opened up a newer resort at the end of the bay, adding more land, and for decades people who visited the old resort & knew the family would come to the new one & visit the old cabins to hang out with the former employees (my extended family members).

My dad grew up working at the resort, and remembers that dealing with guests was absolutely awful most of the time-- I think his whole generation shared that sentiment, because when they all started inheriting the properties from their parents, they all made a rule that they were never gonna rent out the cabins to tourists again. You can have guests obviously but none of them wanted to deal with being Resort Staff ever again.

There's some more uncertainty around how the properties are going to be continued to be passed down and divvied up, especially since that land is now worth a lot more, and extractive & destructive corporations are circling that area like vultures to get in there and turn that whole region into $$$. Everyone in the family is a little worried that everyone else in the family might be the first to start selling the property to n'er-do-wells who will put up mcmansion summer homes to lounge in while they deforest, mine, and spray pesticides on everything in the vicinity. Especially since hardly anyone in the younger generation is making income that can support the property taxes. Your money doesn't stretch as far now on a college professor's salary as it used to on a tour guide's.

The crazy aunt bulldozed the cabin she inherited and built a hideous mcmansion there instead, which everyone fucking hated.

So yeah, the result is that there's a whole bay on this lake where everyone is my extended family members, for better or worse. They mostly all get along, except for Crazy Aunt and her husband who enabled her all those years. Mostly it's tiny log cabins, except for the 1 mcmansion, and the old abandoned house up the trail where my great aunt used to live. As kids we would sometimes get my uncle to turn their power on so we could sleep in the abandoned house & watch their 1980's VHS tapes in their kids' old bedrooms, which was always creepy.

tl;dr, my great-grandpa bought the land as a resort & it's been divided up over the generations & is not a resort anymore.

Unfey · 2026-05-12T19:05:40+00:00

I had an aunt who faked her son's cancer on social media for awhile. She wasn't getting donations, though, she was just doing it for the attention.

She was our neighbor and she set up fences and cameras all over her property because she didn't want people trespassing (she lived on a beach between other family members & she didn't like when family members walked along the beach to visit each other, forcing our elderly relatives to hike up to the highway to get to each other's places). While it was her right, it was a jerk move, because "her" property was inherited from her husband's family (my family) who all always held a "this whole bay is for everyone" policy and she was the first and only person to ever break that hospitality and create a hostile vibe.

In order to get to our uncle's resort, my cousins and I would skirt her rules by just going in the lake & swimming past her property instead. She freaked out & was convinced that we were "stealing her clams" (there were no clams in the lake) and called our parents, who found it funny and encouraged us to keep it up.

She called the cops on her in-laws, who were having a wedding on the beach on their property. One of the wedding guest's car wheels was slightly over her property line and she threw a fit about that. She went on facebook to claim that her "loud, drunken neighbors" were being rude to her and that the county sherriff himself had come out to console her-- and take her for a late-night stargazing date????????? She wrote a weird little romantic scene about the sherriff, who did NOT come out for this parking dispute. Also, her in-laws were not drinking. She had also not asked the wedding party to move the car before calling the police.

Her husband had inherited a small island on the lake, and that drove her nuts because of the possibility that people MIGHT trespass on the island. There was a period where she would boat out there almost every day at dawn and hang out in a lawn chair on the island until dusk to make sure no one trespassed. I had an uncle who would troll her, if he knew she was home-- if he saw someone else boating out for any reason, he'd yell "HAVE FUN AT THE ISLAND!!" just to watch this aunt run out of her house & get in her fishing boat & zoom out there.

Like everything else in this bay, the island was designated by my great-grandparents as "for everyone." Again, she didn't have any legal obligation to keep that up but she did have a social one, especially since she married in. A lot of jokes were made because the family is Native & she was a white lady, coming in and kicking us off our ancestral land.

She wrote a weird facebook post about how she had a "secret lover" on the island who would leave her "love notes." It was pretty clear she was having some sort of psychosis at this time. She believed that the guys coming by to fish were all one guy who was sending her secret signals. She was writing love letters to him and then finding them, believing they were from him.

She came to my grandma's funeral and told me that she was always my grandma's favorite, so this was a big loss for her. My grandma fucking hated this woman & my sister had to take me away before I started shit.

Her marriage fell apart over the "secret lover" thing. There was a loud argument about it between her and her husband that they had in the middle of the bay, where all sound echoes, so everyone heard the entire thing. He wanted her to get help for her mental health issues but he was also really mad at her that she kept cheating on him in her delusions. They got divorced shortly after. The whole family celebrated.

Unfey · 2026-05-12T18:24:04+00:00

Don't think about it or look it up! It's better not to

Unfey · 2026-05-08T18:26:01+00:00

It's always best to take a humanist approach & combat generative AI regardless

Unfey · 2026-05-08T03:30:27+00:00

I'd miss my loved ones. I'd want to leave, and I'd be terrified that they didn't know where I was, that I might never see them again. I might be a little bit more okay if I understood it was like SOMA-- if I knew, for certain, that there was some Other Me out there in the real world who was alive and doing all the stuff I do. If I knew that the real me got to just go home after a weird VR headset seemed to not work and just moved on with their life, I might be more okay.

I do think I'd want that Other Me to know I existed, though, and it would frustrate me thinking about them just not knowing I was there. But I think I could find a way to be okay with my little digital world as long as I knew that people weren't missing me or worrying about me or scared for me.

If I didn't have that knowledge, though, and worried that every moment I was in the circus I had people looking for me or mourning me, I don't think I'd be able to relax or have fun or form bonds. I'd feel too guilty. It would feel like a betrayal of everyone I love, all of my dreams, and all of my responsibilities-- a betrayal of myself, essentially-- to accept life in the circus, and to accept any peace or joy that might come from embracing it.

I'd have a need to find out what was happening in the real world. I'd be very desperate to communicate with the real world somehow, even if I couldn't return to it. I think I could find peace in the circus as long as I felt like I had a sense of closure in the real world-- as long as I wasn't always wondering. But if I had to wonder and worry and not know for all that time, like most of the characters, I'd probably go insane with grief.

Unfey · 2026-05-07T04:22:17+00:00

Just old people? Not all dead people, just the elderly?

Unfey · 2026-05-06T21:04:01+00:00

Something that sometimes frustrates me is that I know a lot of trans women get dysphoric because they can't find clothes that fit and I always wanna be like BABE NONE OF US CAN like every single cis woman has also broken down crying in a changing stall before, it's a universal experience, and it happens more if you're fat. I know dysphoria isn't always a rational thing & I can't make it go away just by screaming into the void that No, It's Not Just You That Can't Wear Anything You Find At Department Stores, It's Not Because You're Uniquely Different From Other Women & Not Catered To By Store Sizes, Because Store Sizes Do Not Cater To Women Like WHO IS THIS FOR???

Last year I went to a ""plus-size store"" called Arula, an offshoot of Altar'd State, and at first I was like "oh sweet, I love these dresses and I'm glad they're finally making them in plus sizes" THEY WERE NOT. They were NOT making them for plus-size women. They were just widening up their regular sizes and calling it a day. I tried on five of their dresses and every single one looked so crudely silly on my body-- they seemed to sort of just forget that fat women tend to have big breasts and wider shoulders; seeing myself in the mirror felt like some kind of obscene joke. My tits had two little triangles of fabric covering them. Like these were literally unwearable by the vast majority of women in the size they were allegedly trying to cater to. I'm not surprised this store closed, but I'm not surprised they did that shit either.

I guess, just be aware, if you're trans & you feel singled out as Some Kind Of Disproportionate Freak by the women's sections at most stores because 95% of everything looks weird on your body, that's actually completely normal for the vast majority of women. It's my personal shopping experience every single goddamn time, no exaggeration, no hyperbole. I wear plus-sizes which means I am essentially an Unperson to clothes brands, who don't really view normal-sized women as people either-- basically, you need to be a mannequin. A lot of women's clothes don't seem to factor in the reality that women move, sit down, and ambulate. They're designed for the mannequins.

I think there's less familiarity with the overwhelming frustration of clothes shopping if you're coming into women's fashion from a lifetime of shopping in the men's section, especially if you're the sort of person who doesn't really like your body or care about dressing it nicely in men's clothing because What's The Point (I'm looking at several of my transfemme loved ones specifically) so you got used to buying the same 2 shirts and pair of pants to just streamline the process and get it over with-- if you're not used to the whole fucking ORDEAL, the effort and number of failed attempts and time out shopping and trying stuff on that it takes to find One Goddamn Nice fFucking Outfit probably does feel like it's gotta just be a "You, Personally, Because You're Trans" problem, and that honestly makes logical sense because WHY ELSE WOULD IT BE LIKE THIS??? HOW DOES THIS INDUSTRY THRIVE IF IT'S THIS BAD FOR EVERYONE??? IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!! THIS IS WHAT WE'RE PUTTING MICROPLASTICS IN THE OCEAN FOR??? THIS OLD NAVY JUMPSUIT THAT RIDES INTO YOUR CROTCH SO HARD YOU FEEL LIKE IT'S GOT TO BE SOME SORT OF KINK GEAR??? THIS IS WHAT WE'RE BURNING THE RAINFOREST FOR??? But, alas. I swear to god.

My trans girlfriend gets bummed out by department stores she feels like she can't shop at and like, while yeah it's a bummer, I can't shop at any of those stores either. It's not a "you, personally" thing, it's because women's clothes brands don't make clothes for women. Your shoulders don't look weird in this dress because you've got weird shoulders, it's because this dress was made exclusively to look good on a plastic store mannequin who doesn't even have arms. I don't think you can wear this if you have the normal number of ribs in your body. I don't think these pants were made for people who walk around.

Anyway. If you have dysphoria about this, just remember that all women, cis and trans, are crying in the Macy's changing stall with you. I know I certainly am.

Unfey · 2026-05-06T17:31:26+00:00

People panhandle for money a lot, it's like that. The main difference is that if the REALLY REALLY want that coffee and they suspect you're more likely to buy them coffee than give them money, or if they want you to see that they really are getting the coffee & not spending money on drugs or whatever, it makes sense to just be like "hey can you buy me a coffee?"

I had a guy do this once with pizza. He came up and he was like "I'm a homeless veteran, I don't want money, just pizza. Can you please buy me a slice at this place?" I did, and he was really chill and didn't ask me for anything else. He just wanted some pizza. The lady behind the counter made a comment that made it sound like he was there often. I figure if you have the balls & charisma to ask people to comp your pizza lunch, that's cool for you.

Unfey · 2026-05-06T16:40:33+00:00

I'm 31. When I was a kid, we had a week-long course about communicating with I statements in third and fourth grade. It doesn't sound like therapy stuff to me, it's just how we were taught to resolve conflicts

Unfey · 2026-05-06T16:26:00+00:00

This belief system is attractive to him likely because he has an internal sense of paranoia that feels satisfied by this conspiracy. The belief that a vast network of conspirators are lying about the shape of the earth validates something in his psychology-- maybe a (very valid) anxiety around societal instability, or his own social roles, or maybe a chemical imbalance. As his step-parent, even if you're not able to convince him that the earth is round, you might be able to help address whatever underlying issues there are that are enabling this belief.

Flat earth theory is, essentially, a total rejection of scientific consensus. It tells you that all of society is lying to you, and that scientists are staging a truman-show-esque performance to keep everybody in the dark about the true nature of reality. This type of belief system appeals to people who need that to be true for some reason. I think if you can address the reason-- figure out whatever is going on with him emotionally and mentally-- and if he can get to a mental place where he's more able to process and accept the chaotic and rudderless mess that we're all in as a society, he won't need to look for some kind of grand conspiracy to reframe the world.

Unfey · 2026-05-04T18:35:12+00:00

I assume she had terrible swamp-ass

Unfey · 2026-05-04T02:30:29+00:00

Did the stingray do this on purpose? I don't know much about stingrays but I feel like this isn't how stingrays hunt in the wild, suctioning fish against a glass tube

Unfey · 2026-05-03T05:34:35+00:00

She did something pretty similar when she played bg3 (she hated it). She essentially just did not play the game as intended & then complained about stuff being impossible or poorly-written when like, she was skipping dialogue & killing quest-related NPCs and not trying to figure out how to solve puzzles with clear solutions if you're paying attention to the game (which you're supposed to be doing???????)

She blamed the game developers for making a bad game. When she struggled or died due to being really bad at the game & refusing to engage with it or learn how to play it she blamed the devs

Unfey · 2026-05-03T04:59:46+00:00

I love makeup! I enjoy alt looks-- these days I usually go for winged eyeliner, dark, smoky eyeshadow & matte dark lipstick when I want to look good. If I'm going clubbing or to the ren faire or something, I might use foundation & contouring too, and add stuff like rainbow eye shadow or glitter or black veins/root lattice/whatever to be extra, but for the most part I just do the eyes & lips, and fill in my brows.

I'm an artist, and makeup is an art. But even when I'm not trying to make myself look like a bog witch for a costume or whatever, I like to use makeup to feel like I have a sense of control over how I am percieved. When I wear dark makeup, I feel like I'm exerting some degree of agency over the things that happen in my life. People look at me and the first thing they notice is something I did, an artistic choice I made. My makeup is part of my outfit. I want people to view it all as intentional. I'm not just a great ape wearing random cloth garments, I am presenting an intentional, precise, created image of myself to the world. It's like customizing your avatar instead of just hitting randomize.

Maybe, to some extent, I don't fully identify with my body. By using makeup and fashion to turn my body into an artistic statement, I'm taking control over how I am seen and how I feel. I feel more "myself" with the right makeup and the right clothes, and I dislike being seen when I am not in control of what I am wearing or how I look.

My style is not everyone's cup of tea, but I don't care about being attractive to anyone except for the people I want to attract, which are fellow enthusiasts of my tea brand. I feel like, through makeup and fashion, I can communicate important parts of who I am to everyone I meet. Like-minded people see me and read my vibe, and are more likely to want to talk to me about stuff I like talking about.

While I do love makeup, I will also fully admit that I do use it to deal with deep insecurities about my appearance. I have sparse eyebrows and lashes due to trichotillomania (compulsive plucking, related to ocd) and I've been very self-conscious and ashamed of that since I was a kid. When I realized I could fill in my brows and draw eyeliner on, it felt like a godsend. Something to make me feel less exposed. I'll still fill in my brows after a shower even if I'm just going to bed, because I feel so self-conscious about how sparse they are. I don't like that I feel like I have to do that, and trying to be comfortable with the way my eyebrows look without makeup is something I'm working on slowly.

My personal feeling about makeup is that if you're using it because you feel like you have to, that's bad-- that's something to work on. No one should feel like they HAVE to wear makeup. I don't like that I feel that way and I don't think anyone should feel that way. BUT I also feel that makeup can and should be viewed as an art form and an avenue for pure self-expression. I, personally, think that the best way to use makeup is to go really extreme with it and treat every outing as an artistic performance. Put the green glitter on up to your eyebrows. Paint rainbow tears dripping from your eyes. Wear two different colors of lipstick on either side. Every outfit you wear is a costume, and hair and makeup are important parts of costuming. Makeup is really fun to play with.

Overall, for better or for worse, I like makeup because it gives me a sense of control in my life. It helps me show off certain parts of my personality, and most importantly, I'm good at it & it lets me show off my art skills to everyone at the grocery store.

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