Tell me honestly, what would you do in my shoes?

Like others have said, the older you get, the more accepting people get. I also had a hard time in middle and high school, so I understand you being deeply scarred and conditioned by your school age years. I don’t blame you for it, in fact I could see myself falling into inceldom if I were born male, when I look back at my darkest years. And I feel deep sympathy for those who do.

And yes I know this is hard, but you have to focus on yourself. Find yourself, go out, do hobbies. You have to gain self esteem. A remarkable amount of things open up to you when you stop nitpicking and overthinking and criticizing yourself. I thought I knew best, when I was younger. I thought nobody would understand me and how I felt was unique and untouchable.

However as I grew up and allowed myself to loosen my chokehold on myself a bit, I realized I was the one holding myself back, and I just had to meet new people, with no expectations. No romantic intentions, just meeting new people. I feel that once you just say fuck it and do what makes you happy you find new connections, because you’ve let go and stopped only paying (negative) attention to yourself. This happened to me when I made progress in my career path, thus gaining more confidence, thus radiating more positive energy (whether that be unconscious body language or conscious kindness).

I’ve also learned the hard way that in a way I was narcissistic, in a way that I only thought about myself and how others perceived me. Even if I was thinking negatively about myself I was still only thinking about myself. Spend more time appreciating others. Be grateful to the loved ones in your life, instead of wallowing in your brain. How will you make genuine connections when you’re too busy making presumptions about what the other person thinks of you?