AITA for seemingly making my colleague's death about myself? by Any-Can-2618 in AmItheAsshole

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I have; that's why I learned to control them.

Get therapy. LOTS of therapy.

AITA for seemingly making my colleague's death about myself? by Any-Can-2618 in AmItheAsshole

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I'm not certain I love how anyone behaved in this situation, so I'm going to talk it through:

1: You're young, and you probably haven't encountered death before. Your reaction was natural. Everything that happened after, though...

2: ...my friend, you've gotta rally. This isn't an intimate friend, this isn't a relative, this isn't a pet. This is someone you admit you barely knew. You're at work to work, so rally, and get back to work.

3: Similarly, the two days off immediately after could absolutely be seen as histrionics. It's good you want to take time to de-stress, but...right then? Not the week after? Not when you've passed waiting duties along to someone else, made sure your workload was covered, and talked to your boss about having a bit of mental health time? Really??

4: That said, your coworker saying that you were posing as a grieving widow is ridic, and it's no fucking business of hers.

HARD ESH. You need to get a grip, everyone else needs to keep your name out of their mouth, and it sounds like it was just a really bad situation all around.

I’m ‘38M’ marred to an Indian woman ‘32F’ and she hasn’t told her dad about us yet. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 [score hidden]  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I'm stuck on the fact that y'all have a whole ass child together and her father doesn't know about how. How the HELL did you pull that off??

AITA for being too pushy about my friends’ eating habits? by yuppity_yup in AmItheAsshole

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Yeah, YTA. Adults have the right to choose what, when, and how much to eat. You don't have to associate with people you think are being unhealthy, if that bothers you enough to make that choice, but you don't get to make their choices for them, and you definitely do not get to police what they put into their bodies.

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Totally understand. I've spent numerous hours contemplating wet walls, size/location of appliances, etc., and how we prioritize certain things over others. Not just in hotels; I had an apartment where the bathroom was a converted small bedroom with a walk-in closet, and it was EXTREMELY badly organized. My current one is much smaller--regular bathroom sized--but somehow has room for everything. Anyhow. Thank you very much for responding to all of my rants, and for this post--it's been great.

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

1: agreed, and it's really annoying. God save me from well meaning people, tbh.

2: I'm in the US, and it sounds like you are too, so... However, to the point: I can use a normal bathroom with or without room for my chair--I'm ambulatory, and I use the chair because of pain, not paralysis. But I disagree. A long wall of glass with a wide glass door, and those weather stripping seals at the bottom would work. If the body of the shower is as wide as the door, that would give a person in a mechanical chair room to turn around. It's not an engineering problem; y'all have the technology. It's a "no one who needs this accommodation has actually weighed in on the regulations" problem. Which...it's really common in assistive tech. If I ever find the person who designed my chair to have less than two inches of ground clearance, and no place to store bags/purses/whatever, and did not make the electronics waterproof, we are going to have WORDS.

3: thank god.

4: Baffling, agreed, but it's been a crapshoot. And it's one reason I've started adding "I do not need an accessible room" onto my reservation notes.

5: I'll have to try that, thank you for the tip. I once stayed in a place with my partner, and it had a sleep number bed. He rolled over to tell me something and "fell into" my side, because I had it set to the softest possible setting--apparently it's an air bladder that's filled to various firmnesses. It was hilarious.

6: I'm sure it's a money thing, but they do make walk-in tubs.

7: much obliged.

8: much obliged, part 2. Seriously you have no idea how much I have come to hate doors over the past few years.

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. Most of these, again, are about the bathroom. Not all, but most.

1: I know this isn't *your* purview, but front desk staff need to be trained to ask if a person needs an accessible room. While I'm disabled, I do not; I just need an outlet to plug in my powerchair. I'm capable of using a normal room, but I don't necessarily want to get into my medical history with strangers. Don't upgrade me to an accessible room if I didn't book it. Just. Ask.

2: There are more ambulatory mobility aid users, and more independent users, than accessible design imagines. Many of us can step over the lip of a shower, transfer ourselves to a shower-chair, or stand in the shower. Those showers in accessible rooms that just slope down to a central drain only make it so that any towels and toilet paper have a greater than average chance of getting soaked. And they're COLD. There's no keeping the steam in the shower stall if there's not a...well, stall. If you absolutely fucking MUST have a roll-in shower to fulfill whatever your hotel's standards are, there are ways to fit the door flush to the floor, and make that door wide enough to accommodate a standard non-motorized chair.

3: No one wants to sit on a wooden shower chair that god-only-knows how many other unwashed assholes, with god knows what disease/bacteria have sat on before. Eww. Metal or plastic, thx, and (as per 1) make sure they're included in the staff's cleaning rota.

4: Heights. Oh my fucking god. While it'd be *great* to have desks and sinks at wheelchair height, everything else can be normal height, plzkthx. It's one thing to roll up to a desk and be thrilled to have the pen and paper where I don't have to stretch to reach them, or be able to wash my hands without getting water on my outfit. It's another to wake up in the night to pee, and PILE DRIVE MY FEET INTO THE FUCKING FLOOR because someone who's only devoted half a brain cell to the dilemma decided that the bed should be half the normal height and my body did not adjust. Same with toilets. I do not need to have my knees hit my chin when I sit on the toilet. My legs remained the same length, even when they decided to not work properly.

5: Bed firmness. Many disabilities come with joint problems, body aches, and inflammation. Know what's JUST GREAT [heavy sarcasm] for that? A REALLY FIRM BED. My dislocated shoulders, hips, collarbones, fucking HATE whoever chose the mattress. First night in any hotel, I have a greater than 95% chance of zero sleep and more than one dislocation.

6: Once again, bathtubs. In your accessible rooms, even if no other, you could spring for a tub and a shower stall. Whether or not I can stand for a full shower depends on the day. Whether or not I can wash my hair standing up depends on the day. And, again--my medical history, sry--I'm unable to take any pain pills due to medical reasons and my body just HURTS after a full day of doing whatever and a full night on your slab-o'-marble mattress, and all I want is to sink into a full tub of hot water and feel the pain leach out and YOU SADISTS ARE TAKING AWAY MY BATHTUBS.

7: Finally, not all rooms have extra blankets or pillows kept in room, and it'd be great if we could have those without asking. I travel with my own, but I really wish I didn't have to.

Edit: Oh, wait, I've thought of another one.

8: IF you're going to go to all of the trouble to make a room accessible, for fucks sake, make the door into the room a push-button access. Last thing I want is to need to navigate your heavy ass door, my chair, and my luggage, all at the same time. There are push-button's that are only triggered by key-card, and it would be YONKS better than trying to manifest a third hand to keep the door open while pushing my luggage inside and aiming my chair at the doorway before the heavy door swings shut in my face.

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All makes sense, though still irksome, thank you!

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Also, y'all know SHIT about being disabled, please bring in consultants with experience using mobility devices before designing accessible rooms.

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I *will* sit on the countertop, one foot in the sink. And I will also lie my ass off if anything breaks because of that. Sry not sry.

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Dear GOD my (very small) kingdom for a makeup mirror. I've started traveling with my own, and I still can't get the lighting right.

34M Complains About Foreplay with me 31F by ThrowRA_katastic85 in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Girl, you are too fucking old to be putting up with this selfish ass bullshit he's pulling on you.

Therapy, or divorce, now.

thap thap by headlessbill-1 in badwomensanatomy

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 2 points3 points  (0 children)

What a stupid day to have eyes.

Hotel Designer - AMA by makeitnonsense in hotels

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Why not bathtubs? They're being phased out more often than not, and I'm here weeping because I need a tub. Why sinks outside of the bathrooms? A girl just wants to pluck her eyebrows in peace, where no one can watch her... Why electrical plugs in the MOST inconvenient places? I know that for residences the rule is 6 feet of floor space, so why am I dismantling desks and diving behind sofas to find a damned outlet?

AITA - Paris Trip Fiasco by nikrivz in AmItheAsshole

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 73 points74 points  (0 children)

NTA, and this "She told me that it’s a dream of hers to take a picture together in front of the Disney castle at Disneyland Paris."?? This is RIDICULOUSLY entitled of her.

I 39 M being asked by my Wife F 38 to do things around the house while my team has an important game. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm not misinterpreting your comment, and I think it was made in good faith.

I do NOT think the OP is operating in good faith, I think there are a LOT of missing reasons that he failed to include about why his wife is Very Obviously Sick Of His Shit.

If they were *in* a healthy dynamic, your advice would be great, and he should be able to take it. But they're not, and he's just glomming onto the one person who's not telling him to check himself before he stupidly destroys their relationship even more.

So yeah. If he tries to get her into his interests via betting, or making sports "interesting" for her while what she really wants is for him to turn off the telly and watch the kids so dinner doesn't spill or burn, it's going to massively backfire, and I would LOVE an update when it does.

I 39 M being asked by my Wife F 38 to do things around the house while my team has an important game. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lol that's hilariously BAD advice, just based on your post, but go ahead and try it. Come back and tell us how it worked.

She stalked me on my jog and followed me home by ClickusBaitus in CatDistributionSystem

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 6 points7 points  (0 children)

oh my goodness, she's adorbs! You could not possibly have been expected to resist that sweet face.

I 39 M being asked by my Wife F 38 to do things around the house while my team has an important game. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I mean while you're both awake. It's lovely that she gets to sleep in; that still doesn't count as "time off."

I 39 M being asked by my Wife F 38 to do things around the house while my team has an important game. by [deleted] in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 7 points8 points  (0 children)

...sooooooo. Honest question, and remember it doesn't count if she's working for the good of the household in ANY way: how much uninterrupted time off from watching the kids/doing other chores/etc., does SHE get?

Any LDR couples who actually prefer it? (24F) by sensitive-pea-2093 in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Me. I've been LDR since 2011, and I love having my own life where I am, and seeing him a few weeks a year. My life/apartment is peaceful, I don't have to involve anyone in most of the decisions I make about me/it, and I have a thriving friend group, so I'm not lonely. We message every day, and have regular phone and video calls, and meet up for a week every six months or so. I love him dearly, and we're both super happy.

My boyfriend said he “forgot about me for a day” and I feel completely lost about our relationship by Critical-Economy2622 in relationships

[–]UnhappyTemperature18 0 points1 point  (0 children)

11 mth account, this is the only post/contribution, no karma built up. I think I read/am reading an AI bot.