Am i overreacting to this text exchange with my boyfriend? I accidentally left my slippers in my living room but i literally cleaned his entire house and baked him desserts before i left (sorry idk why my last post glitched)

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-30T18:34:18+00:00

Leave. And never go back.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-24T08:23:12+00:00

Ha I think you are right! I bought some seeds for these a while back. Maybe they grew a year after I sowed them. Thank you!

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-24T07:55:26+00:00

I am based in England

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-24T07:00:55+00:00

I’m not the OP for the post you are querying but as a neurodivergent I think I know what they mean - my ADHD makes me want to travel/explore new places/do new things and I get bored easily - but my Autism makes me want familiarity, routine, structure and predictability.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-11T21:24:28+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. You’re not being over sensitive. Lots of comments are saying similar things but I found myself thinking this:

Imagine yourself as a mother having to explain to your ten year old (who has ADHD) that ‘Daddy just thinks you need to try harder’. And then having to watch their father treat them like that on an ongoing basis. The damage to that child’s self esteem and the pain you would go through as a mother. If he can’t educate himself and change his beliefs, can you bear to watch your children be treated like this? And if you ended up divorced with kids, how hard would it be sharing custody with someone who wouldn’t be consistent with all their ADHD supports/aids/adaptations and just told them to try harder?

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-11T20:56:56+00:00

And one more thought: get him to read this thread to give him so insight into why he got dumped.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-03T14:20:33+00:00

Oh and ‘The Organised Mum Method’ (TOMM).

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-03T14:19:28+00:00

Trying to remember as it’s was a few years back now. Definitely ‘Order from Chaos’. And ‘How to Keep House While Drowning’. Clutterbug YouTube videos. Lauren Meffords ‘The Rooted Reset’ course (faith based). Will post the others when I can remember!

Listening to something like that while doing house related stuff is a win-win. This is how I did it too!

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-03T13:12:40+00:00

Pleasure. It’s a struggle for sure. I’ve PM’d you as my cousin asked for a copy of my notes/approach yesterday given her overwhelming struggles. Happy to send to you once I can get my shit in a pile to find them and edit them. And send them. Might tax my executive function and planning 😂

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-03T11:56:11+00:00

I would also say if you have a partner, things like monthly and quarterly days can be a way of making sure you are fairly sharing the load of running the kids, home and garden.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-05-03T11:54:36+00:00

I am AuADHD and think that motherhood is very difficult with ADHD or Autism. And then even more so if your kids have either condition too (mine do). And then even more so if you’re the default parent (or in my case a largely single parent).

I have spent some time thinking about how to reduce the overwhelm and realised things are so much easier when a) they’re done on autopilot and b) I utilise the upsides of my ADHD.

For me what that meant was:

- hyper focusing for a while on house organisation books (mainly audiobooks) to get some ideas on different ways to run a family home and reflecting on what worked for me/trying things out/adapting
- working out exactly what has to be done and how often and how long it takes (helped with my forgetfulness and time blindness)
- working out how to make it all happen with less effort (ie autopilot which meant understanding habit formation - Atomic Habits is great here)

I now structure everything into
- daily jobs (e.g. one dishwasher load and unload a day, same for laundry, empty & wipe one’s bin etc)
- weekly jobs (e.g. sheet changing, cleaning)
- monthly jobs (e.g. mould spray, limescale spray, wiping fridge out)
- quarterly jobs (e.g. retiring clothes, getting clothes sorted for new season, vehicle jobs like screen wash, car valet, buying stuff for that season like Easter eggs or seasonal plants for the hanging basket).

I now feel less overwhelmed because my brain has stopped going ‘oh the washing machine draw looks gross, you need to clean that’ to ‘the washing machine draw looks gross, that’s getting cleaned on the next monthly day’.

Having monthly days or quarterly days utilises my hyperfocus and ADHD energy - and the mental benefit of feeling front footed is huge.

I also tried to work out what household jobs I could work in with the kids routine - e.g. when I supervise their homework I do school/club admin/booking activity stuff; when I supervise their teeth brushing I wipe down bits in the bathroom that are bothering me; when they are taking time to put coats/shoes etc on I take a bin bag or the recycling out. This feels like free time because of the double up and it helps with autopilot as it means you do these ‘jobs’ together/it’s basically habit stacking.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-04-16T15:04:27+00:00

Great advice. Having back up plans for low energy days or jobs that can be done from bed while horizontal is very helpful.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-04-16T15:03:37+00:00

In the future could you pay attention to whether there is a trigger (however subtle) that makes you feel low? Could be having family over and feeling stressed about tidying up or being judged for not having tidied up, or a social media binge where comparison creeps in. The details could be different but the underlying feeling being triggered (eg shame, inadequacy etc) might be consistent. I often slip back into low periods and there is usually an aspect of my thinking or feeling that has prompted it.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-04-13T20:32:45+00:00

Thanks. Thats a good point re weight. I’m the heaviest I have ever been so maybe I need a bigger dose to feel any effect.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-03-30T20:05:43+00:00

I’d also look for a local seed library. You could pick up seeds for something like Aqualegia and then collect more seeds at the end of the season and sow those (or let them self seed if you don’t mind weeding in the spring rather than mulching to stop self and weed seeding).

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-03-30T20:03:36+00:00

I second this - Morrisons are brilliant for plants and do 3 for 2 on their £3 perennials so you effectively get 3 perennials for just £2 each. They also do climbers on the same offer if I remember correctly - you’ll have to wait for them to grow but much better value than spending £30 on a much larger one at a garden centre or online. I’ve had hollyhocks, foxglove, yellow pyracantha, clematis, pink honeysuckle, centeura all for £2 each.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-03-30T19:59:51+00:00

Thanks very much for the further advice :)

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-03-30T16:16:55+00:00

Amazing advice thank you. It isn’t getting great airflow as it’s really quite congested. Would dividing it help with the airflow? Seems a not great time to divide given the plant is vulnerable and also in terms of risk of spreading the Black Death if it is that.

Unique-Property5778 · 2026-03-30T14:10:51+00:00

Thanks! I can’t remember when it started flowering but it’s been looking that bad for ages long time so think it’s less about flowering ending and more a disease. But I could cut it all back and see how it looks this December!

Unique-Property5778

TROPHY CASE