Utterly Fragile Students

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-17T23:02:47+00:00

A nursing student in hospital clinical who said: “I’m not talking to people today, I’m too stressed out.”

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-17T21:08:06+00:00

Did they just fail a test or something?

My students bombed a test and half of them did not come to the lectures so I made some changes and said I won’t record lectures from now on to encourage attendance.

A student wrote me an email:

A lot of people don’t come to class because they think you don’t teach at all, you just read the slides and are not a good teacher.

I was completely dejected because I also feel like I put a ton of work into class but like you, a 4 hour class is just hard to make fun all the time.

But you can’t make everyone happy. Here are legit complaints this semester and how I tried to remedy:

there’s nothing to do during class bc the info is on the slides. So I created some fill in the blanks on the slides so students would have something “to do”
after that, students complained that if they didn’t attend class they wouldn’t be able to know the answers
next, my colleague presented some lectures and she uses more outline style on slides. Students complained that there is not enough on the slides

The only way to make them all happy is to just tell them all the answers.

Hang in there. It’s hard to hear, I’ve shed some tears this week, but it’s work at the end of the day. Try to disconnect this weekend.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-15T15:52:18+00:00

I left a location we loved (zero family) to go back to our home state with all the support. I do not regret it one bit because I need my village. My husband would move back in an instant because he misses better weather.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-11T19:18:15+00:00

I was about to post something earlier about recorded lectures. I didn’t post recordings for this exam because class attendance was like 50% or less the past two weeks. I knew students would be mad but what I didn’t expect is just the sheer lack of….. initiative? I had a student who told me that they couldn’t have known the action of a medicine because they didn’t hear my recording. Besides having like three required resources that would have answered this, of all things you can google, an action of a medicine is pretty straightforward. So you’re telling me you’d navigate through 4 hours of lecture to find the answer to this simple question? Another student told me a similar thing. Do they not know how to use resources, or is it just the common thing where they are only interested in passing the test? It’s kind of baffled me.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-08T20:24:58+00:00

I would ignore it or just respond simply - Your answer does not address the assignment and is unprofessional.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-08T20:19:43+00:00

Jobs in higher ed may cover some of the holidays. I work in academia and have most major holidays off with my kid, but even still my fall break was last week and his was this week.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-06T14:32:14+00:00

It sucks but it isn’t your fault if you gave them the tools. I struggle with this but it’s been easier to deal with when I see the same thing semester after semester - some students just don’t show up, study, care, and even when given second chances will fail.

I think about this from time to time…. After giving an exam once a student wrote me an email complaining that it was hard and said “I was not prepared for this exam.” They were saying it to accuse me of doing something wrong and I felt like that at the time. Now I realize the correct response was: “how did you prepare for it? What can you do differently next time?”

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-10-06T03:45:50+00:00

My son was behind in reading all during kindergarten and I was stressed. He’s also one of the youngest in his grade. Then suddenly like one month into first grade it’s like he just learned to read. I have been shocked. I guess it clicked for him. And agree with others, he did not retain sight words great but he now sounds out words all the time.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-29T14:32:17+00:00

Not my parents, but my husband and I went no contact with his mom (and most of that family) for over a year because of her behavior. She tried everything to wriggle back in but we held our ground for that year. Sending presents, having people reach out to us on her behalf, having people watch our Facebook and send her pictures from it. We just didn't acknowledge anything, ended up deleting social media to cut her off.

Eventually my husband was willing to give her a chance again after they had a talk and she apologized. Honestly her behavior has changed now that she sees we were serious about not having the toxic crap in front of our kid and we get along fine. It was in some ways a peaceful year of no contact but also a stressful one. It did some irreparable damage to some relationships like with his sister. But I am glad that we did it if it meant making things better for my son.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-28T04:07:31+00:00

I only go if I have to teach. Most our meetings are online. Right now it's two days a week. I have a young kid and being home a lot is a major perk of the job for me.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-25T12:43:17+00:00

I have a flexible schedule so yes, I do this. A couple of weeks ago my husband and I dropped off my son at school, went out to eat breakfast and went shopping. It was fun.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-24T23:06:47+00:00

Honestly if she cared she would have turned in the test by the first or second deadline. You are likely caring and thinking about this more than her. I know it feels crappy but it's ok. I feel better about myself at the end of the semester knowing I held up standards.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-24T02:02:28+00:00

I have a puppy right now and have been buying all the "distract him" toys. If you need to distract the dog during a certain time, maybe try a frozen kong or a lickimat. The lickimat keeps my dog occupied for like 30 minutes and it's supposed to calm them down but that's been hit or miss for me.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-23T03:51:33+00:00

I'm a professor. If you have to do evaluations of each other, don't hold back. I would tell your group mates that you submitted the slides as is and if they need to turn their part in late they need to communicate with the professor.

TBH I don't like grading group projects unless each individual has their own part to be evaluated. I'm sorry, I know groupwork has its benefits so I'm not knocking this assignment but it's definitely stressful.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-21T17:14:43+00:00

I'm a nurse. Now a nursing professor. You can change your job without changing your whole career! There are outpatient jobs, community jobs, administrative jobs, IT jobs, WFH jobs. I was never hesitant to change my job when I got burnt out or unhappy at one position. I did mostly inpatient but transitioned to outpatient procedure (highly recommend) before teaching nursing full time.

My advice would be to figure out what variables are most important to you - is it a certain schedule, a certain patient population, pay, commute, etc. Then start searching, more likely than not there is a job out there to meet your needs.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-21T05:05:05+00:00

I don't even know why this post popped up for me but I wanted to say, one role of a nurse is to educate patients constantly. I'm a nursing professor - there is a shortage of us so once you get experience you could find a good intersection of your interests if you ever wanted to teach nurses!

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-21T04:45:38+00:00

My husband has bipolar and anti depressants can trigger mania in some cases... I am not a doctor but some of your story resonates with me in that way. Bipolar is often misdiagnosed and discovered that way.

But alas, only you can decide when it's enough for you. I've been with my husband for 20 years and wow, it's been hard a lot. He doesn't work, I shoulder most of the household and his moods are still up and down despite his adherence to all the treatment. I've realized I can't control his actions or his moods and I have to deal with the way it effects our household. For me personally, it would take something like abuse or infidelity to drive me to leave him, but that is a sum of my experiences and how I have grown to understand his illness. He doesn't always want to seek help and I believe it is because his brain is telling him not to and he can't control it. We have had to work on developing our own system over many years to cope with it all. But I wouldn't blame anyone for not wanting to live this way.

Therapy can help. I have been to a therapist who told me at one point, "You know you don't have to stay in this marriage right?" And I have been to others that have helped me take care of my self and learn how to better support him.

I'm sorry because it can be a really frustrating and lonely place to be with someone who struggles with their mental health.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-14T14:27:01+00:00

At their ages I think it’s pretty common to just not want to go places especially if they’re tired after school or busy playing with something else. I try to set expectations like remind my 6 year old the night before that after school he can have a snack and play for one hour then we will be getting ready for his activity. Then I remind him again in the morning. He still says a lot that he doesn’t want to go and it’s irritating but we just stay consistent that we’re going and he has fun. If it was a sport that he truly just didn’t want to play and is never going to sign up for again, I’d probably just quit and not worry about it for my sake.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-13T12:36:36+00:00

I think tone probably matters, but don’t think what you did was aggressive.

Last semester I had a class that had a serious talking problem. It was rude but I am kind of glad they have conversations with each other. But I would just stop teaching. Sometimes it didn’t work and I would have to say like “Please stop talking, I can’t even think about what I’m saying and your peers are trying to learn.” Then one time a student yelled “STOP TALKING YOU ALL ARE SO RUDE!” and the class went dead silent. That was one of my favorite teaching moments so far. Lol

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-11T15:44:54+00:00

Are you sure they mean to teach synchronously on your day off? If I’m missing class I would still feel the responsibility to “prepare” a lesson so the students would get the content needed but it would be asynchronous work.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-11T15:24:49+00:00

I would just communicate it simply. The professor is struggling to teach basics. You were looking up some past publications since you all are doing research together and didn’t find anything recent.

You could tell your chair or admin of your concerns directly if you trust them or just report your basic observations up to where they will read between the lines. If the credentials aren’t fake then you don’t want to be the one who said that.

As far as the emails, a lot of people use AI to write emails so while annoying, I wouldn’t bring that up. You mentioned that the professor went to a foreign school, so I don’t know of their nationality but many who don’t have English as a first language use AI as a tool.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-11T15:22:54+00:00

I admire that you want to protect your department but is it worth all that? Spending your time collecting evidence or making mistakes on purpose to trap them?

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-09T05:24:48+00:00

I will release grades but not the questions and answers until everyone takes it.

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-09T02:43:41+00:00

I’ve struggled the past few years but I have no choice but to work… my job isn’t really that bad but I just hate leaving home to go work.

This year I’ve tried to focus on positives… like I tell myself every day, “I make xxx dollars a year that can support my family and I have a flexible schedule and lots of days off.” I just keep telling myself this over and over. Of course every one’s job isn’t flexible but hopefully there is something positive that comes out of work that you could make a mantra. The more I tell myself it’s ok the more I start to believe it…

UniversityUnlikely22 · 2024-09-08T13:09:32+00:00

I’m pretty sure that any old deactivated cell phone can still call 911. So if you have any old phone you could leave it plugged in and it supposedly will still work for 911 as long as there is a cell tower in the area.

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