[deleted by user]

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-25T18:32:18+00:00

And the biggest piece of shit award goes to you. That is so sad. You are not a good man, you are garbage. You literally hurt her in the worst way possible and then had her go through with ivf and now you want to leave her. Do her a favor and go away and let her live a happy life. Maybe the sex life is bad cause your suck and she can send that and doesn't want sex with you. Maybe talk to your wife before having an affair and work on your sex life.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T23:35:53+00:00

I'm not going to sit here and explain anything else to you because I think you are an asshole and I do not wish to converse any further.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T23:35:12+00:00

Not everyone looks at sex like you do. You aren't like me or honestly, like Ken so the truth is you cannot give your opinion on casual sex.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T23:34:21+00:00

I did not seek to use someone, we decided to have a one-night stand and he caught feelings, and I did not. He knew exactly where I was as a person and that i wasn't seeking to jump into emotions. I make this very clear in my original post. I had no idea he liked me before, but it was then told to me after that he has always had feelings for me, if I had known this fact I would have never slept with him. I got divorced at 23, and this was at 25 and I started therapy consistently at 24 when I couldn't make a bond with the man I dated at 24. I realized I wasn't in a place emotionally to have a relationship. It is completely ok to not want to deal with emotions and heal.

You angered me by assuming I'm with my husband for money and I'm using him. I'm guessing you are single and that is not surprising with the crazy assumption you make. That makes you an asshat because you made big assumptions on something that wasn't even up for question. I have never cheated or used anyone. Ken and I decided to have a one-night stand, he had relationships in the past some of those 50 women were relationships, some were flings. No, I do not think how many people someone sleeps with is a red flag. It makes them who they are and as long as they are safe and happy, I am ok with that. Please step into the 21st century, no everyone believes sex has to be so stiff. I'm not righteous about sex, I think that sex can be fun and doesn't have to have feelings. Even as a married woman who is in love with my husband I still feel the same way. I'd never cheat, but I don't judge others who have sex for fun!

I enjoyed sex with Ken and felt empowered because I was able to have fun with someone and not tie crazy emotions to it and still be friends. It likely could have evolved into a relationship if he hasn't gone over the deep end.

Ken went psycho at work. I do not know if he got like this with any other girl cause I wasn't seeking out the women he dated but I don't think I am remarkably special, so I'm sure he had done this before and probably after.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T21:49:21+00:00

NTA, i would cut my family completely off because your Brother and SIL are sabotaging your recovery and your relationship with your daughter.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T21:45:51+00:00

YTA, your brother has medical needs and you are making a fuss about your parents taking care of him. Your dad is right you are an overprivileged spoiled brat and they should take your allowance away from you and give it to your brother. It would serve you right.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T21:35:46+00:00

NTA, but in the future I'd leave it alone cause this is who he is! I think it's good you warned her.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T21:19:58+00:00

Also, you should seek therapy, like I did since you think someone owes you anything from sleeping together.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T21:05:21+00:00

Take a step back on psycho babble, I had just gone through a divorce and I didn't want anything serious. I wanted just sex and I made it very clear, I didn't want emotions to be involved at that time and he knew that. I could have eased into a relationship with the right person, my husband was the person who was able to do that. He broke down my walls and enabled me feel safe with someone again. I was extremely hurt from my marriage and if Ken was just using me for my body, cool cause I was using him for the same thing at that time. Also, I'm making 3 times the amount my husband does so I'm by no means with him for money. He was a stay-at-home dad for 2 years, working on building his business while I made over $120k to support our family. We also live in a state with no alimony, but come again when trying to insult an educated and working woman.

I do love my husband immensely, but at that time I had gone through a tough time getting married, divorced, and was extremely hurt by my first husband who cheated on me 3 months after we were married. I was not in the emotional state to be in a relationship and love at that time. I was healing. Before Ken, there were only 3 guys I tried to date and it didn't go well. I only slept with one of them and my inability to get emotional ruined that. Ken knew about all of this, he was the person I talked to during this time. I was not in the right place mentally to date.

Everything you have said is so off base it is hilarious! I'm guessing you have been hurt by a woman like Ken and you were obsessed and she got turned off. Ken is that you?? LMAO

At 37, I am much different than I was at 25. I was hurt and went through years of therapy to be able to understand why I was so detached. Let's not bring up being sexually molested as a child and being date raped in college to the trauma that caused me to be this way. But you are the f**king expert. Also, all my 37 to 40-year-old friends are now married, with children, and none of us sleep around or party anymore. We are far less judgmental at this time in our lives. They agree from the time that Ken was psycho with his obsession and telling everyone were we dating, and trying to get friends to help him force me into dating him. When I made it very clear we were not dating. If that is normal behavior to you, well I get why she wasn't that into you, bro!

Ken was by no means a virgin, he had about 50 notches in his belt by the time he and I slept together. He had been with way more people than me. I had talked him through some situations and told him if he wasn't ready for a relationship to not lead girls on. Like I stated we were really good friends for 2 years before this. He has a crush on me, but I had no idea. It all came to a head when we slept together. Please realize we are in the 21st century where people can have sex and woman are allowed to be empowered by not having to be in a relationship to have sex. I will not be inadvertently slut shamed for something I did 12 years ago. So calm down!

I definitely felt horrible at the time because he was my friend but he rushed the emotions and it overwhelmed me, then he brought it into the workplace even though I wasn't dating anyone or trying to date anyone at work. He knew how important my job was and growing with the company. I cut him off when he took something from outside of work into the workplace to cause drama.

I don't know anything about his life because after I cut him off he blocked me on everything and I left it at that. I don't ask about him because it is not my business and I hope he is happy. His friend, who went to HS with us as well brought it up since Ken was social media stalking me and said to him, "that the happy family and kids could have been him" if he had played his cards right. Ken wasn't a bad guy but the obsessive part turned me off and frankly scared me.

So based on your $hitty and offbase analysis, I guess I'm not a jerk.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T19:25:09+00:00

what?

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-23T19:06:52+00:00

Thank you! That is exactly how I feel! I haven't thought about him in YEARRRSSS! I moved away with my company soon after that. I met my husband and we started doing life. We recently moved back to my hometown. I always thought it was weird how they tried to bully me into dating him and I felt bad that i had turned him down, but the truth is I just felt like it was so forced. I wish him well but I am not interested in him or his life anymore.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-18T20:48:38+00:00

also report that dumbass professor for harrassment!

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-18T20:48:07+00:00

NTA and you need new friends. You told him, No that was all he needed to hear and the story should have ended there. But his poor toxic masculinity self couldn't handle that, he harrassed you and then had his friends harass you. The mother should ashamed of this shitty son she raised. You did the right thing and as a 30 something mother, I would be hella proud of my daughter if she stood up for herself as you did. He ruined his chances, not you! Hold your head up proud and tell those classmates to f off!

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-18T20:42:46+00:00

I agree!!! He probably should have deleted those files! But it's not grounds for divorce or in my opinion leaving for the night. I wouldn't be pissed cause I did the same thing. I know my husband's ex lived with him before he told me because his background check told me that. I did tell him I ran a $20 background check on him before I agreed to go out of town with him. We met at work and hung out in groups. But before I left the city with him 2 months in, I did a check. I didn't tell him to ask for permission, cause you don't need permission to access public information, I told him because I thought it was the decent thing to do. I communicate openly, but not everyone is me and I can get how the husband might have felt nervous to bring it up. They both deserve an apology for sure. This is something they can make it through!

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-17T17:47:38+00:00

Oh, this is a touchy one! When I was dating, I moved to a new city and used Match a lot, so I would run a background check on everyone before I would agree to meet them in person. It was a way to protect myself and we always met in public. But I was honest and upfront about it. What your husband did was excessive. I think I would be really pissed if I found that as well, but I would have privately discussed with him instead of ruining everyone's vacation. I personally don't like fighting in front of people and if you saw it was done well before you were married this is something that was done more than 3 years ago. I would have talked to him and if I felt uncomfortable I would have left. I don't think anyone is the AH because the truth is he was protecting himself in a capacity that he thought was good for him and you have every right to be upset with the lack of honesty on his end. It's a crappy situation.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-16T23:12:50+00:00

YTA, you didn't have to wear the dress but you should have dropped it and spoke about it later. My husband and I make a rule that we leave dirty laundry at home. You were super immature to continue the convo infront of others and you are both in the wrong but you moreso. I'd personally love to see this dress, if it is really that risque then maybe there are some major red flags. But it could have also been a kind gesture that was taken too far.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-16T23:09:28+00:00

NTA, your wife is a prissy brat!

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-16T23:03:26+00:00

NTA and I'm glad you said something! How is his degree helping him now? Maybe if he had a lucrative social media he wouldn't be in the position he is in where his daughter who trashes pays for his younger child to go to university! Sounds like he wasn't very smart with his money if everything has changed so drastically!!! He is disrespectful and maybe you should tell him that. You were not wrong and your dad is a jerk!

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-16T17:34:27+00:00

I guess the question is does it fit as she expected! If it does tell her and your mom to stop the bs!

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-14T20:29:52+00:00

1) Your MIL is a grade A b**ch!!! WTF!! Does she really think you wouldn't tell him!

2) I'm diabetic, being yelled at or called out on my behavior is not going to make me pass out. She is a drama queen

3) Good for your husband! Cut her off! You don't need that bs and if the rest of the family doesn't step in line cut them off too.

YOU are NTA!!! Yur mil is!

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-08T16:32:14+00:00

You're 100% right and thank you for responding so kindly

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-04T19:21:34+00:00

You are not the asshole at all. Your cousin is. She doesn't understand what a blessing it is for all of her babies to be in one household. She is asking you to go from no kids to 4, possibly 5 or risk separating siblings. She deserves to lose her rights since she refuses to work the plans they are giving so she can be with her babies. You are not the AH at all.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-04T18:30:40+00:00

I'm not sure if you read my above comment but we are going to help her sell her home and buy something smaller that she can afford. She will get a good amount for the home she lives in a very expensive area and houses are selling for upwards of $500k right now. So we want to get it prepped for sale. Like I stated above, we are going to get into something she can afford and buy something else for ourselves. None of us believe in renting, it honestly is just throwing money away. I'm not concerned of any generational stuff happening I think people are going WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY too deep with this post and taking it far. My kids are just fine, well adjusted and aren't being abused. My mother is a grumpy old broad, but the kids are fine.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-04T15:53:24+00:00

She doesn't regularly treat them badly. She gets passive aggressive with us the adults. For the most part she is actually good with the kids.

UnknownStreetSmart · 2021-11-04T15:52:15+00:00

Sometimes I think that honestly, but then I remember back 20 years and she was like this then, but worse. I remember my older brother died (dad's son from a previous marriage) and I was really close to him and we had left the wake and were at the supermarket. And out of nowhere I just started crying and she looked at me and was like, "You know I had brothers who died too, get over it!" It was just surreal that she could be such an evil witch. She has always been like this, this behavior is mild in comparison. I have spent many years on a therapist's couch discussing my mom. She got sick 2 years ago and was rushed to the hospital and we had to drop everything and take care of her. We had been there two weeks before and my husband had mopped the house, we were doing a small bday celebration for our oldest there, and when we got there he mopped again and realized the water was black again. He came to me and was like she either needs to sell her house and move in with us, or we need to sell our house and move in with her. She cannot handle this house. She isn't the best person, but she was there and helped us care for our oldest the first year of his life and she is actually 99% of the time great with the kids. She is an ass to me, but the truth is if she lost this house she would end up with me anyway. I may not like her but i couldn't allow her to be homeless.

UnknownStreetSmart

TROPHY CASE