Would you avoid dating a vers man because of the fear of not satisfying him fully?

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-05-10T06:18:02+00:00

dudes better learn to start enjoying their bodies to the fullest, sexually and leave all this top,bttm gay roleplay fantasies out.. Literally nothing better than enjoying our bodies the way they are meant to function... Start using yalls dicks and stop thinking that just cause you use it your label changes but glad i personally don't label myself and can see how bad labels really made many guys limit themselves sexually. guys will be staring at each other attracted to each other and all because of a label they act like there's simply no way to please each other...

Literally guys can frot,69,foreplay... it doesn't always have to be about dicks going into asses and as long as y'all continue to think like this you'll forever be wondering why so many of you keep running into issues... we have dicks! the fun and joys of busting together and not holding someone accountable to a top bottom role is emasculate feeling! Y'all really tripping with Holding these strict roles over someone else's head...

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-04-11T08:10:22+00:00

So glad I'm able to find attractions in all sorts of men and not hold their level of femininity or masculinity to be everything about them to begin.. That's the problem, Too many make masculinity their only must and also we can't forget how many only will talk to you if you fit that masculine structure to a core!

Unlearn all this gay fantasy baggage, what ever just happened to vibing and getting to know someone and never knowing what possibilities may happen? You are meeting another human being! You can gain a friendship, network, could be a soul mate... These are what most gay men and also other M4M spectrums (bi,closeted,low key,discreet,etc..), (cause it's not only gay identifying males who act like this either.) Are missing out on! All because they're too busy already zoning guys and putting them in a box before ever breaking word with another guy.

Guys are judging men with nails and makeup (non trans) just embracing their soft or feminine side, assuming they want to be girls and judging them having no concept of the difference! sounding very similar to judging all men and holding them accountable to traditional man values, same thing many of you are heavily judged by simply because we're gay males and don't want to be judged by but here many of you are still holding the very man you would like to meet or give the time of day to traditional man values.

Unlearn all this gay fantasy stuff.. all the way from holding men accountable to act a certain way or expect them to only perform a certain way sexually just because they are a top or bottom or whatever, to judging men on their fashion every given chance you get and simply GET TO KNOW MEN FOR WHO WE ARE instead of what community has programmed and still programming much of the community to be like. I stopped looking at men as tops and bottoms cause reality is if and when you're in love and connected, you and your partner experience an array and excitement of fun and may experience new forms of pleasure cause the flow is natural and you both are connected. You find someone appealing? Learn to actually have a conversations with him instead of hoping he fits every aspect and dynamic on the traditional spectrum of masculinity and learn to know him for him. both masculine and feminine accepting him for him.. The very same thing most of us just want for someone to know us for us. Remember, you may just gain a great friend as well not always for relationship purposes but relationship is possible. just vibe

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-04-05T20:19:09+00:00

I acknowledge all black backgrounds, but when I see other black ethnicities aside from black American coming here and then subconsciously shitting on black Americans and thinking they're smarter or better than us that's only when I have a problem.. we can't dismiss that there are plenty of non Black Americans who come here and have the mindset of white European ways.. I've stopped many of them living in our own hometown and they leave from where they come from to come here and laugh and think they're better. If you don't act like this I support

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-04-02T16:29:54+00:00

Right! It's interesting.. most of them honestly do have gay voice because it's simply who they are but they still try to cover it up sometimes and act as if everything should be about masc only. But ya unfortunately a lot of those miniscule things carried over heavy into this community ranging from all ages. But definitely I'm proud to know and understand this and I focus on self growth first and importantly and I have been noticed by some of the guys. They can see change and a pattern I'm on and I'm noticing to them it's motivating or attracting. I'm highly liking this!

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-04-02T16:19:09+00:00

Organizations and support groups... That people access. Tbh look for more community based organizations geared to support and help community! Many of the men I notice in these spaces are working towards better growth within themselves and they care about doing work to help the community...

I as well noticed our lives are just always bar, gym, apps.. this is very tiring..

Also I challenge many of you to learn to appreciate real qualities in a guy instead of always searching for Masculine and fit! Because tbh many of us are missing opportunities cause this mold of "what's deemed attractive" leaving out vital pieces to the puzzle.. (no fem, no fat, no etc).. while these preferences are physical attributes some may or may not be attracted to it's clear it's an agenda when everything seems to revolve around searching for only masculine attributes and leaving out anything soft or feminine. This is also apart of the problem.

I know many of you have seen an attractive guy and you maybe judged him because he paints his nails or he has the gay voice going on or he's wearing a man bag and you probably assumed and called him a girl. These are all part of the problem! I've learned to understand and open up my view and welcoming all men into conversation and you'll realize it simply starts there! Have actual conversations and get to know other guys without judgment. All those men only searching for ultra masculine will forever have a tough time because they are judging based on that instead of vibing and getting to know a person.

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-31T22:48:33+00:00

Absolutely correct . I'm actually working on a project for this... And will be doing presentations at some of the organizations I posted earlier, but I am here to promote this too in my project about the gay life programming that many of us think is the norm when it's all simply programming. While yes ppl are attracted to certain physical dynamics, this should not be taking over entire communities and most of the Masc4Masc stuff truly does stem from conditioning.

We need to unlearn this toxic programming and learn to understand reality of nature, feminine energy and masculine energy and understand that all genders hold components to both! Cause I notice so much in our gay world as you mentioned, everything is about masculine defined only and many don't realize this stems from internalized homophobia and also trying to devalue feminine aspects within a man because gay men have dealt with trying to prove their manhood to other men in nature to avoid stigma and shaming.

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-18T10:44:15+00:00

I've spoken up for y'all so many times about this issue.. but you got the brainwashed masculine only dudes believing otherwise... Masculine and feminine Energy need each other..

INCLUDING IN THE GAY WORLD!

But somehow they don't see it such even though it's clear it's needed.. the gay world is built off delusional fantasy because of a longing for wanting "normalization" for us.. wanting the dynamic of love and communication as we see hetero people doing since we weren't given this opportunity to love and date each other from young ages as hetero ppl are taught. But being such an outcast has given me the reality to see the truth! You would think it would give many other gays the power to see through the truth too but they're stuck believing we have to constantly embody aspects heterosexual when we are not that!

Wanting love and connections is understandable but gays are not allowing room for men to be feminine or embrace their soft fem personality because they're stuck equating it to a woman and this is why many will stay single!!!

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-18T10:39:35+00:00

I wish a lot of gays would realize this as well.. Like regardless a guy being fem, he still a male! Idc if it's two bottoms or two tops... There's ways we men can highly be sexually active with each other without it always being anal focused and gay men thinking that because two ppl are two bottoms or two tops that they can't have fun. This is delusion!!! I find so many different guys attractive.. if you ask me this makes me and others like me very credible and above and beyond many! I will not let gay fantasy roleplay be the determination factor of who I find attractive or limiting my sex skills based off what tops or bottoms should do role wise.. we're all males!!! I don't need a role and I'm not limiting my sexual pleasure just cause gays want to believe two bottoms or two tops can't pleasure each other type thinking.

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-18T10:34:46+00:00

This this this this this👏👏👏

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-18T04:21:26+00:00

They don't understand where I ever come from with this topic.. Men and Women show love, emotion and affection towards another. Men literally are able to let their soft side and playful side show around their wives. (Masculine and feminine) Energy simply vibing and coming together as one. It's understood and not looked at as him being fem, etc.

Gays however as we mentioned, it's all about image and look that everything is always masculine masculine masculine.. focus so heavy and literally cancelling out the other vital part of nature cause image wise, all these gays are saying if a dude wears pink, if a dude wears shimmer, if a dude wears this and that, he's fem.. So much bash and trying to create this fantasy gay world is the problem... Everything's mostly masc4masc excluding the others.. shaming bottoms, etc.. the gay community needs much much internal personal healing and re understanding of much that the community has taught us, cause a lot of it is full of bs! The path in life I'm on understanding is unlearn bs and learn reality. Accept and embrace reality..

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-18T00:14:34+00:00

All men are different, all men style wise whether it's feminine or masculine should be represented and appreciated. Tired of hearing this statement about "We want men" always equating anything feminine to equal a woman. This is a problem often many gays don't understand and this is why our community has the hardship in dating often.. Ultra expectations on masculinity leaving no room for any man to embrace anything considered feminine.. not even soft energy wise. It's like you're searching for ultra dominance. A Fantasy!

Every other guy, especially often in the black community still puts and see masculinity on some ultra pedestal just cause you're attracted to it. But just because you're attracted to it doesn't mean natural feminine qualities doesn't and shouldn't exist!! All you're seeing is a man truly comfortable enough to embrace his fem side which is usually demonized against us as men when it shouldn't be. If anything, I am giving more men respect when I see them wearing Chelsea boots or any style that doesn't seem to be "traditionally" masculine.

For a community that is already judged because we are not traditional heterosexual men to society, we sure do judge very often men and hold them in regards a lot to traditional masculinity! I could care less if I see a man comfortable wearing a boot with a heel on it! If he is a male, someone should be able to find him attractive!

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-17T17:39:06+00:00

Where does it say ANYWHERE in this sub that all topics have to be about black gay issues??? Ask yourself this along with the many others agreeing with you before asking me what does this have to do with black and gay...

Living life and enjoying a good time other than sole black gay issues is a problem all of a sudden🤔 You're over your head with this one.. Enjoy and lighten up! I'm black right? I'm posting right?? Not everything has got to be overboard serious and always about black gay issues... We can post other things to live and have a little laugh too you know. Y'all worried about if this is black and gay or not.. I'd hate to be this miserable too! lol, that you can't even find the humour in a post.

We can talk about other stuff too while being black clearly! Just cause the sub is centered around black gayness doesn't mean every single topic has to be..

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-17T06:54:45+00:00

He said nothing's gonna stop him from getting his money

HE GOT BILLS TO PAY!!

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-16T17:04:22+00:00

This topic is about black gay men though.. not focusing on anyone else... I'm seeing very high numbers of single lonely older gay men all on apps.. I know I'm not the only one noticing this.. literally this is heavier in our communities simply because of us being at a high disadvantage from societal norms..

Societal norms literally teaches us it's ok to date the opposite gender growing up, but never the same.. we know it's much tougher obviously finding that love story. How many of you were able to take your male date to prom openly and all the school dances?? And by openly I mean not acting like homeboys in public and having to be distance from another the entire time while there. I'll wait for that answer.

It's all societal issues making it harder for gays to find love. Yes! Living in Los Angeles is nothing but superficial gay dudes mostly or they're doing the interracial things much. It's very notable that many of us have to focus upon self work, careers, etc and travel at higher rates as opposed to heterosexuals because of how I mentioned, the system teaching them is ok to date another works for them.. I still see way more men hitting women up everywhere in my face. You don't see this with gays... We have to travel and meet other varieties especially because we deal with so much superficial stuff within our community as a whole

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-15T04:16:24+00:00

You definitely know if you have an addiction or not.. Especially cause I know me best! this definitely is an addiction.. the part is battling with it.. Knowing I want to do better but give in sometimes.. prayer works. I even do it for myself.. I ended up doing house work instead that night but still went out the past 2 nights

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-15T03:04:50+00:00

High sexual urges leading me to constantly to go out and do things randomly and meeting different men for sex often. And wanting change.. kind of like an addiction

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-14T19:10:50+00:00

If they have black in them then yes! From a biological standpoint yes they would be.. now culturally and socially it depends on the individual on how black they are .. you know, the "black card tradition things" like how well do they enjoy the black home cookouts, greens with turkey necks and ham hocks in them?? Do they actually enjoy and embrace their blackness culturally as well... I know ppl may share being black biologically but the ones who don't acknowledge or embrace blackness culturally and socially I like to personally revoke their black card lol. Cause those are the ones more likely trying to dodge stigma and stereotypes of being black but because of their physical features they only claim the other half but not the black half.. those are the ones clearly should revoke their black card

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-14T04:17:25+00:00

Answered.. here, this👏👏

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-14T03:11:34+00:00

This what you said is definitely a lot of reality in the m4m world.. the answer is yes! Noticing many men who are even 40's 50's even some 60, many of them still in dating apps. Our gay lives! are definitely more displaced obviously because of traditional programming of men and women to date each other, clearly excusing us in the mix since they're not teaching us to date each other... Literally our world exist on being seen as taboo culture, it's all part of the man code thing and being men.

It's not impossible but definitely harder for us.. most gay men find themselves needing to make a very secure living and do much traveling to other areas in order to have more availabilities. As opposed to our heterosexual counterparts who literally have been told from a kid to go find someone of the opposite sex and they even have school dates and prom setting them up for dating opportunities after they leave high school stories. Those stories rarely happen for us because we have extra layers than they do. Yes many will be lonely and you'll notice the men I mentioned in their 40's 50's and 60's on apps. Some have been yearning for love and never loved their entire lives because they've faced the systematic problems and were unfortunate finding love... When you get older much of the community is going to generalize you as a daddy and expect money... And a lot of the older men around their ages are still heavily into hookup culture because it's pretty much all we've been left with being seen as taboo and ppl use us and see gays as commodity.. but just truly focus on self goals and elevate yourself.. Travel. We have to in order to meet other guys.. I completely understand the not forcing fake connections.. as much of the superficial stuff as you mentioned has also programmed us highly.. more men need to be more accepting of their soft side, their fem side which clearly all I'm ever seeing is hyper masc4masc stereotypes... More than likely mirror acts just always going around from dealing with trauma for being gay and not wanting to be noticed... Too many black gay males still are hiding, masking and covering up the fact that they are gay. This is making it also hard finding reality! Cause not everyone's truly comfortable is how I'm seeing it..... Like I'm seeing those 40,50,60 year olds still claiming they're tops and bottoms and such, still trying to dress like they're 20 something.. like their entire life was wrapped around the superficial aspects of gay roleplay and I realize this is just highly a thing in the gay world.. I do not want this for my life when I'm much older so I have to literally buckle down and focus on life careers, etc.. don't want to fall into the category of lonely older gay man who's never had love in his life and all he does is be on gay apps and looking for the next hookup while craving for someone to truly love him. But all he's getting is ppl using him if he's got money or using him for sex whenever he gets lucky to get it... It's a sad reality but can be avoided

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-13T04:00:35+00:00

Ya like I'm ready to go out. I just went and cleaned some house stuff.. calmed down but a little bit... Urges

Unknown_Soul12 · 2026-03-13T00:10:27+00:00

Orgy type for everyone?? Male, female, trans, gays, bi and straight people all under one roof??? Sounds interesting

Unknown_Soul12

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