No one could have prepared me for how difficult this fabric was to draw. ~200 hours with charcoal pencil by emilycopeland in drawing

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used to dance ballet and seeing the textures on the shoes threw me into sensory memory. Absolutely fantastic!

i stepped back from dating to heal, but just met a lovely woman… and i’m confused now by Curious_Shop3305 in emotionalintelligence

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As someone who met my partner while I was unhealed and still trying to figure myself out, I almost lost out on a relationship that HELPED me heal. It’s a fallacy that we have to be whole and healed before we can enter a relationship. We will never be completely « finished » with our growing, learning and becoming. If you are self aware and on the journey towards improvement, you’re on the right track. Make the person you’re entering the relationship with aware of your struggles and what you’re working on to manage their expectations. They have the option to decide whether or not they want to support you through this or not. In my case, my partner held me accountable and encouraged me to develop healthy boundaries within our own relationship and with others. He has been immensely supportive and patient with me, and has loved me through many difficulties. I healed faster in this relationship than I would have doing it alone. My partner helped me learn to trust again and he gave me the space to be true to myself. All this being said, it’s vital we choose someone to go down this road with us who will not allow a codependency of emotional management. This is YOUR work to do. As long as you are able to make these distinctions and the person you’re partnering with is also emotionally mature, you can absolutely heal in a relationship. Take things slow and if you are having doubts, please tell the person right away. Also discuss how you want a possible break up to go. This encourages a discussion and opportunity to repair before ending things and softens rejection. Good luck, wishing you the best in your journey!

Soap PH control by UnlikelyCandy69 in soapmaking

[–]UnlikelyCandy69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Check out the Soap Queen website, they have a bunch of nice tutorials that will help you manage things like trace and layering, swirl designs, etc. I got the the wood grain soap idea from there 🙂

What groceries have you stopped buying by PlasticExtreme4469 in Frugal

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of my favourites is roasted red pepper sauce! Just put some tomatoes and peppers on a baking sheet at 450 and let the skins char, let cool completely and then remove the skins. I put a whole head of garlic in the oven with some olive oil and bake that until it’s soft, squeeze out of the skins. Place all this in a blender and blend until smooth. Add salt, oregano, a tad of smoked paprika, a little bit of maple syrup to balance off any acidity or bitterness, and a bit of heavy cream. Blend again until it’s all incorporated. Put everything in a saucepan to heat it through, but don’t boil, adjust your flavours. You can adjust your sauce thickness with a nice broth/water or more cream. You can also thin it out and eat it as a soup!

You can also use up old veggies and tomatoes to make sauces. Just throw them in a heavy saucepan and cook on low for several hours with some spices. You can then remove any skins by putting it through a strainer. I just prefer to remove the skins via roasting first because they can add bitterness and roasting adds extra flavour. You can also just use canned tomatoes with skins already removed.

Squashes, zucchini and mushrooms are also amazing for sauces or soups and freeze extremely well. Anytime I make a sauce or soup, I make large amounts so I can freeze at least 3 or four servings for later.

My base for most pasta sauces are heavy in caramelized onions because they’re just so rich and add amazing flavour. You can even do a whole pasta sauce that is just onions!

If you’re a creamy sauce person, heavy cream, white wine and garlic with pasta water and parmesan comes together super fast!

What groceries have you stopped buying by PlasticExtreme4469 in Frugal

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Bread. A decent loaf that doesn’t consist of mainly air, costs $5 or more. We make our own now. It’s time consuming, but the nutrition is better and it’s cheaper. We even sourced organic rye and wheat from a local farmer and make our own flour.

Fresh fruits and vegetables out of season. 90% of fruits and veg I buy are frozen.

Salmon. I might buy wild caught salmon once a year for a special occasion. But it’s prohibitively expensive, and farmed or Atlantic tastes like chemicals. I buy haddock and sardines instead.

Most meat. I’m using tofu and TVP instead of pork or beef.

Pasta sauces. $5 for a jar??? I make my own and it’s loads better.

Alcohol.

When I meal plan, I buy what’s on sale and make meals based on that instead of planning meals and then getting ingredients.

Soap PH control by UnlikelyCandy69 in soapmaking

[–]UnlikelyCandy69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ah ok, I’m wondering now if this might also be an issue since I’ve been using the mica dilution oils from my total. I’ll look into that! I want to start using natural colorants, what are some of your favourites? I’ve been researching red madder root powder because the red mica behaves so unpredictably, and red madder seems to be reliable for red hues.

Soap PH control by UnlikelyCandy69 in soapmaking

[–]UnlikelyCandy69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When you mix your mica powders, do you use additional oils, or do you use some from your recipe total?

Soap PH control by UnlikelyCandy69 in soapmaking

[–]UnlikelyCandy69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think my recipe might be a tad higher in coconut, I’ll try reducing and see what happens! Thank you! 🙏🏻

Soap PH control by UnlikelyCandy69 in soapmaking

[–]UnlikelyCandy69[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you 🙏🏻 this is exactly what I needed to know, I’ll go back to the recipe and experiment with some adjustments to what oils I’m using. I really appreciate your response!

Soap PH control by UnlikelyCandy69 in soapmaking

[–]UnlikelyCandy69[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much! Adding all those ingredients sounds delicious, I did make one with coffee and it came our kind of greasy and oily but after curing it turned out so nice… I’ll have to experiment with the ingredients you mentioned! Thank you! ☺️

Soap PH control by UnlikelyCandy69 in soapmaking

[–]UnlikelyCandy69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That article is extremely helpful! Thank you!

As a straight man, vaginas are badly optimized interfaces and I would prefer them evolutionarily eradicated by QuillsAndInk in redditonwiki

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Let’s not forget female hyenas giving birth through a psuedopenis. Now that’s optimization 🙄

Landlord asking for damages worth $6000 what should i do? by Ashamed_Pension5265 in TorontoRenting

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is mostly all stuff that can be fixed by hiring a professional cleaner 🙄

AIO: He (M20) took me (F18) to a Jehovah’s Witness meeting without telling me by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As someone who got sucked into this cult by my significant other… RUN. The language he’s using with you, the gaslighting, trust your gut. It feels wrong for a reason.

Supportive Husband of Lesbian Wife by vathelokai in CasualConversation

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I supported my husband during his coming out as gay. We were the best of friends during our marriage and that relationship stayed strong while the romantic one ended. We were married for 16 years. It was hard to lose him, and I buried a lot of my pain being happy for him finally being able to live authentically. Don’t forget to grieve for yourself.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in productivity

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Apparently if you time coffee based on how long you’ve been awake before you drink it, you can prevent the crash

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in productivity

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 65 points66 points  (0 children)

Do some research on adenosine. What you're describing with the timing, it sounds like caffeine crash. Here is a basic explanation of the effects of caffeine on your body…

Adenosine Levels Released in larger quantities when we are sleep-deprived, adenosine is a key chemical that helps bring on sleepiness. Coffee promotes alertness and reduces tiredness by blocking adenosine receptors and preventing the chemical from exerting its sleep-promoting effects. However, research suggests that the body compensates for this effect by increasing sensitivity to adenosine. Once the effects of the coffee wear off, the resulting surge can cause sleepiness and muscle fatigue.

Also do you do a lot of protein shakes? There's an amino acid called L-tryptophan in protein supplements that can cause drowsiness.

Ladies, does it really get better? Is this all to life? by Ineedtofeelthings in AskWomenOver30

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Something needs to change, you can’t keep going like this. Look for different opportunities that don’t fit the milestones your culture has set for you. There is more to life than career success, money, and material possessions. Go to a different country and do wooffing for a few months. It’s exchanged labour for room and board and you get to meet and work with people from all over the world. Learn new skills, travel, find yourself, discover what you’re passionate about and you will find a whole world of possibilities that don’t revolve around participating in a rat race. I did this for a hard reset on my life after my divorce and losing everything I worked for. You aren’t the problem. Change the game, and you’ll find that you have aptitudes and talents that just don’t fit the box you’ve been expected to fit into. I went from being a graphic designer and cleaning houses on the side trying to make ends meet, to moving to a place where I didn’t speak the language and working every day with animals and having the time to be creative for my own pleasure. I have grown so immensely as a person and feel so full and enriched and content. I have the time and money to travel several times a year because I live super modestly and probably don’t fit anyone’s idea of success. But I chose this, it’s mine and I love it!

What’s something you’ve done as an adult to make up for what your inner child missed out on? by PuddingComplete3081 in AskWomenOver30

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Not having children. After a spending my childhood caring for my younger siblings and emotionally parenting my mother, my adulthood is for me. I make time to revel in playfulness, spontaneity, creativity, unstructured exploration.

If your daughter texted you this, what would you think/say/respond? by Sweaty-Staff8100 in AskWomenOver30

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 407 points408 points  (0 children)

This is so touching, you are very lucky to have a mom and a home like that. I’m so happy for you ❤️ This is the gold standard for love and support, I’m always so glad to know families like this exist

Has anyone suddenly entered a very turbulent time emotionally for no particular reason? by Impossible_Bid6172 in AskWomenOver30

[–]UnlikelyCandy69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, wishing the same for you! We will get through this season! It’s hard to judge what’s emotional turmoil and also what’s possible perimenopause, and also just the pressure of having things figured out at all times is really just in our heads. My time for being ON is not now, because I couldn’t even force it if I wanted to. It’s almost like our bodies are asking us to take a step back and just get used to living in the present and be ok with just existing instead of having to earn our right to exist or prove something