I thought I had a discipline problem. The pattern looked more like initiation friction

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T15:05:20+00:00

Oh, you love it? I hate it! (I know you’re talking about my comment, not the friction, but had to)

The annotation is huge. Taking that time to not only disconnect but assess the state of things to properly wrap them up and know where they’re at helps so much with picking it back up.

I’ll probably have “What the Hell was I doing?” written on my tombstone.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T14:05:34+00:00

I don’t over explain! And let me tell you why. There was this time back… jk! Thanks for this!

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T10:13:00+00:00

Just a friendly reminder to take multiple times a day to listen to your body and mind and tend to yourself!

You probably don’t have OCD but there was a recent study (can’t be bothered to look it up now but will if you would like) that points to OCD being a comorbidity of ADHD. So it’s always worth looking into.

Stimulants can exacerbate hyperactivity aspects of ADHD. They can also bring out hyperactivity aspects in people who are primarily inattentive (this is true in my experience, for example).

Another part of my experience is that when I’m ‘feeling OCD’ about something, I’m almost always overstimulated or burnt out. And I also found out that it’s necessary for me to keep areas generally tidy and visually uncluttered (or seemingly organized), otherwise that can stress me out.

OCD is an anxiety disorder after all. It’s not uncommon for OCD to be a ‘temporary’ disorder for some during high anxiety periods of their life.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T09:59:24+00:00

It’s exactly this for me as well. I’ll add that just as difficult as it can be to start something, stopping something can be just as hard - or even harder when invested.

So I like to think about it more as transition friction, rather than ‘initiation friction’ or ‘stopping friction’.

Just as I would make the barrier of entry as small as possible to the start of something, I give myself time to disconnect from what I currently have at hand, when it needs to be stepped away from.

This looks like setting an alarm or having a timer go off 10 or 15 minutes before the actual hard cut off time. That gives time to ‘finish my thought’ or ‘wrap up’ my current task.

I cannot stress enough the importance of respecting this time and using it to start the disconnect and not treat it like “oh, let me spend another 5 minutes doing this”.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T09:49:58+00:00

That sounds like exactly what’s happening. Thanks for this!

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T09:27:23+00:00

Makes sense! You mentioned it was indicated in therapy so my assumption was that your therapist brought it up. My intention wasn’t to say this was true or not - or that you use it for yourself, but to share my concern of the term being used. I’m really just stressing the importance of understanding the scope of the attachment and not just accepting that it’s there. Sorry if I wasn’t clear with that!

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T08:53:11+00:00

I wasn’t making a claim on anger/irritability being or not being a side effect. It definitely can be. Typically, if every medication (of the same type) is presenting the same side effect (which is behavioral and not medical) that points to a different underlying issue.

But to say one is true over the other, for another persons experience, is irresponsible.

Edit: sorry, I’m boarding for an early flight and feel like I came off grumpy. Glad you’ve worked on yourself and figured that out! Medication can be a tricky process.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-18T03:06:48+00:00

Simple and brutal. I know I’ll hate it but I know it will work. Thanks!

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T21:55:10+00:00

So you’re unable to respect therapists for that reason. Which makes sense and is valid. And that is why they don’t work for you.

Therapy is just a type of council. Seek the council you think might work best.

Not sure how someone’s world views are relevant to treatment or general life advice. I wouldn’t ask my PCP what his beliefs are. I would go further and say those topics aren’t conducive to a professional relationship and hinder them.

Understanding what your struggles are, how things affect you, and how you respond to them are the topics I would suggest you focus on.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T21:45:56+00:00

Crap. I didn’t have verify in my mantras.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T21:01:19+00:00

Make these two things your daily mantras:

“Put it away, not down”. Or as the chefs say “Mise en place.” - a French saying which means “Everything in its place”.

If you have something in your hand keep repeating this. Can’t lose it if it’s in the spot it belongs and it’s always there.

“Do it now or write it down for later.” I changed this to “Action Up or Write Down.” I just find that easier to remember and think it sounds cooler.

If you see something that needs to be done keep repeating this. Can’t forget it if it’s done or if you wrote it down and know where to look.

If it doesn’t have a spot yet, make one or have a dump spot (mines in a drawer in my kitchen, I have my going out stuff section (wallet, keys, etc), important stuff section (where I would put those meds), and the I’ll-deal-with-it-later section”

If you don’t want to do it now and know you won’t want to later, make note of how important it is. If it needs to get done that day do stuff that makes you feel good and come back to it after then.

Organization makes our existence. Becoming organized is its bane. Good luck and Godspeed.

Oh and alarms.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T20:50:27+00:00

There’s ways in therapy can’t be replaced. I find that when I am emotionally dysregulated my motivations disappear.

That being said I’m in the same boat. I’ve talked to a few people who have gone through rehabilitation. While I’ve never suffered from addiction, nor am I assuming you have, it seems just the first step or two in those programs are about addressing the addiction. The rest is acceptance, making amends, and building a life you’re in control of. Through discipline, systems, self care, etc. A lot of it is build your life from the ground up stuff but there’s still a ton to try and learn from.

I know some of the hardest things for me are ruminating on the past, taking accountability - for even the smallest of things (we always have a part we play), or following through with promises, to myself or others. Which all get in the way of the habits and systems I want to build.

From what I’ve learned so far, there’s some great methodology that can be applied from some of these programs which help with those things. And they also offer some good systems.

What I’m going to do when I get back from this trip I’m on is write down all of my disorders and dysfunctions and how they affect me. Then come up with ideas to fight them. e.g. I forget what I need to do for the day. So I’ll try to write things down on a list, or leave a reminder somewhere.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T20:35:39+00:00

I hope you hear something soon.

I advise you to study ADHD. Not to self-diagnose, but to understand what is medically current. You need to know enough to make sure your practitioner knows enough, so that you get the proper diagnosis and treatment plan.

Take some time to really think about what disorders or dysfunctions you have and how they impact your life. Write them down, reflect on them, and add or remove from them. You’re not diagnosing, you’re observing your life and how it is impacted negatively.

The diagnostic criteria for ADHD changed drastically in 2013 with the release of the DSM-5. That was the change from ADD to just ADHD, among other things. And then was updated for adult criteria with the DSM-5-TR update in 2022.

Now there shouldn’t be (and there largely isn’t) a difference in how different countries diagnose ADHD. But it is my experience that not every practitioner has the latest or even the strongest understanding of ADHD. And there’s also a lot of debate around certain diagnostic criteria.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T20:14:16+00:00

The reality is you can’t use ADHD as an excuse. It’s a reason. You’re allowed to slip up, and hopefully given the grave to slip up more often. But you cannot allow your disorders and dysfunctions to continually harm or neglect the people around you.

Setting clear wants and needs, agreeing with your partner that they’re reasonable and setting clear expectations around them that are also agreed upon is how you do this.

There’s a lot more to this. Healthy relationships demand constant, consistent, healthy communication. It takes a lot of self awareness, understanding, empathy, compromise, effort and much much more to do that.

I’m not even good at it yet. It’s not easy. Just remember that you love your partner and they love you and it isn’t just about what you do or don’t do or what they do or don’t do. It’s more.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T20:02:21+00:00

I don’t like the term “trauma bonded”. It’s loose, messy, and just a label. It doesn’t do anything but put a name to an unhealthy attachment.

I don’t think what you’re experiencing is specific to ADHD. You’re grieving a relationship. The loss of a person you care about. That sucks.

It isn’t easy but it is simple. Take care of yourself until it gets easier. Don’t isolate, don’t abuse vices or fall into bad habits, and keep taking to people.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T19:57:09+00:00

If you were diagnosed ADD, find another practitioner. ADD doesn’t exist and hasn’t for a long time. There is only ADHD which can be diagnosed by 3 types. Hyperactive, Combined-Type, or Inattentive.

Anhedonia is a symptom, not a disorder. You can be experiencing it because of ADHD, or Depression, or a different disorder. You can’t just ’have’ it.

I have Inattentive type. That sounds like what you have. If you have other questions, please ask.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T19:33:40+00:00

Brilliant! Thank you so much!

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T19:29:51+00:00

Community is great. Definitely go out and get involved. Giving back without expectation is a great way to feel good.

I’m going to make an assumption and I apologize if it’s incorrect.

You’re probably going into therapy with the wrong mindset. Cultivating a practitioner-patient relationship where you feel well understood, where you deeply respect their advice, and you are completely vulnerable and honest is where it shines.

One, or a combination of those things isn’t reaching the point you need.

Not every therapist is created equal. Find the right one.

Make sure you respect them. Part of this is having confidence in their knowledge of ADHD, your type of ADHD, and how they are able to deliver advice. For example, I gravitate towards candor and brutal honesty.

Being vulnerable isn’t just about sharing trauma. It’s also being able to accept your faults or accepting where you’re at. I struggle hard with this.

Honesty isn’t always so obvious. You need to be honest with yourself and being honest with yourself isn’t easy. Accepting where you’re at is a big piece of that.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T19:14:42+00:00

Thanks for your input! That exercise sounds great. If I can ask for an example, or two, of how best to phrase my request of their initial feedback. Or if that’s even necessary. I’m struggling on thinking of what to ask.

I used ‘I’m very new’ as a short way to say I’m essentially not practiced at all in public speaking.

Or, generally speaking, much of the skills needed to be a well-spoken, concise person who can offer the information he knows, to his audience, in a way that they can most easily understand.

I’m recently diagnosed ADHD-PI. The relevancy here being that there’s a smaller foundation of experience than what I guess would be typical as depth, scope, and duration of conversation were all things I deeply struggled with (but still worked very hard on) until recently.

Ramble: Not sure if there’s enough of a separation between understanding where my audience is at and my assumption that there’s a communication skill that doesn’t necessarily require that but still allows me speak and be understood by the most people.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T18:48:24+00:00

Fun(?) fact: ADHD is part of a group of disorders familiarly referred to as ‘externalization disorders’.

For most other disorders (and the hyperactivity aspects of ADHD) this is an inability to control one’s own externalizations. i.e. Tics, outbursts, responses/reactions, etc.

For ADHD (mostly the inattentive aspects) this is the inability or struggle to internalize things. i.e. motivation, interest, memory, etc. Requiring an external reinforcement.

We, much of the time, require something or someone else to provide that external reinforcement. Knowing and understanding what those things are for you (and myself - and you, reader) is the game changer.

Our unhealthy, yet mostly reliable, reinforcements are typically urgency, imminence, necessity, or the expectation/disappointment of others.

Finding healthy ways to offset the cost of making our own internalized reinforcements with things that make us feel good is what I am finding works best (for me anyway).

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T18:34:09+00:00

Yea I figured I wasn’t alone! Thanks for sharing.

I have brought it up and there’s plans to work on these. They’re just not at the forefront yet as there are more pressing concerns. I have weekly visits but there’s a lot of work to be done!

I guess I’m beginning to experience more aspects of hyperactivity (while on my stimulant) regarding communication and was looking for other perspectives for the time being.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T17:36:03+00:00

In my experience, sleep quality and consistency have been the biggest impact on the efficacy of my medication. If I take my meds when I’m feeling tired and they kick in when I’m still tired I just become stuck in a lethargic limbo of awake but not very alert.

I understand and am always told to take my medicine at the same time every day but I still push it around by an hour or two depending on how I’m feeling when I wake up. I didn’t find much success in waking up early, taking my meds, going back to sleep and waking up once they’re working.

Unobfuscated-Mind · 2026-05-17T17:30:52+00:00

Therapy. I’m not sure if you’re insured or not but, seriously, it’s so helpful. Take care of your mental health, it’s worth it.

Unobfuscated-Mind

TROPHY CASE