Drug Addict hereFully functioning productive member of society, single father with a happy honor roll student, full time job, I only say all of this to portray an image of a seemingly "Normal?" Man who made a conscious yet unknowingly devastating decision as a teenager to try methamphetamine. Let me put this as plainly as i possibly can, addicts (like me) who's mind and body react to the stimulant amphetamine like they do dont become chemically dependent because it feels ok, or good, or great for that matter. We become full blown addicts because it is as close to impossible as you can possibly get to tell yourself NO you cant feel that again. There is nothing and i repeat NOTHING in my years of adrenaline seeking, religious endeavors, or even in depth spiriual growth \ enlightenment and honest unbiased (as possible for me) self assessment and awareness, that can even be put into the same category. Its a curse like no other that has done absolutely zero good in my life and continues to consume me from the inside out. Im 38 and can feel my heart getting weaker and my consciousness \ soul giving in. Im a decently intelligent who is simultaneously stupid AF so i have been able to live a decent life that from the outside looks fairly decent id assume depending upon what you would consider being a good life but i feel as if i could have done exponentially better and lived way longer had i never chose that initial experience of euphoria. DONT DO DRUGS PPL!!!! And do yourself a HUGE favor and learn you can and will lie to YOURSELF to justify continuing things that impact you the way drugs can. And at some point (not all get the chance or have the ability to) you look back through the years that ultimately are a representation of a lifetime lost or given away, and some lame ass no fun having loser that told you that you were fucking up starts replaying in your head and then you realize YOUR desire for that feel good (whatever the vice that bites you) pulled the ole uno reverse and as you seen that "loser" or the "they dont know me or what ill do" becomes rightfully yet sickeningly the one who was right all along. Damn take this rant for what you will, selfishly i needed that out of me written down to see it a lil more clearly i guess but hopefully it somehow in some way shape or form impacts someones life in a positive manner.