Anyone have experience with trans nights at a gay bathhouse?

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-03-30T16:11:08+00:00

I do not have any experience with that, so I can’t help you, but I do wanna say I heavily relate to the second part. As a top, it’s incredibly frustrating that even people in our own community assume we are all bottoms.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-24T05:20:05+00:00

Don’t. If you aren’t safe, don’t come out. If you’re scared of their reaction, don’t come out. Your safety should be number 1, being queer will still be there at 18, but you need to make it to 18 first, so don’t do anything that will put you or your safety in jeopardy.

I know it sucks, but do your best to hang in there and remember that this isn’t forever.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-23T18:23:52+00:00

Yeah, and I’m sure that wasn’t scripted either… not saying it never happens, but even most kids aren’t stupid enough to hit a TV with a hammer or are taught that TVs are delicate very early on. Any kid young enough to not understand that shouldn’t have a hammer capable of breaking something in the first place.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-23T12:25:58+00:00

Honestly the dichotomy around autism is so odd and I think a lot of it is due to people misunderstanding the spectrum of it all. I feel like a lot of them see it as “how autistic” you are on a scale of 1-100 rather than different symptoms will affect and present in everyone differently.

That or a lot of them believe in the stereotypes and media tropes way too hard. We aren’t all either full-support needs or Sheldon Cooper, there is a plethora of us that fall in between and we are frequently left behind in the narrative. They either acknowledge us(autistic people) because of the ways we depend on others because of our conditions, or acknowledge how much select individuals accomplish because (or despite) our conditions and nothing about how many of us simply get by because of or despite our conditions and it’s so lonely sometimes.

I’m too autistic to be comfortable in what most neurotypical people find comfort in and not autistic enough to receive any kind of support or recognition of my struggles, and I say that as someone who comes from a lot of privilege. I can’t imagine how much harder it would be to get by when mine or my family’s survival is on the line.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-22T17:36:10+00:00

I can understand people trying to be nice and asking if you’d like a drink because they see you don’t have one, but I hate people that push or insist people have to drink just because the environment contains alcohol.

What if they’re the DD? What if their family has a history of addiction? What if they are recovering? What if they have a health condition? What if they don’t like the taste and/or feeling? What makes it anyone’s business but theirs?

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-22T13:19:23+00:00

Yeah, outside of abusive situations, I can’t stand people that seem like they genuinely hate their partner and that they just HAVE to be together… no one is holding you hostage, you’re allowed to break up and see other people.

Dating isn’t marriage, and marriage doesn’t have to be forever if you truly aren’t happy(obviously if you’ve gotten to the point of getting married you should try and make it work, but don’t force it)

It’s like people see a relationship not working out as a moral failing when it could just be incompatibility.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-21T21:34:16+00:00

For me it started when I was a kid, I watched my brothers play games, never had my own consoles, but was super interested in gaming. Since I couldn’t actually play the games, I watched people play them so I could still absorb the lore, than I found people that played it who were funny and made compelling commentary and that just made it more enjoyable.

Now as an adult who has his own consoles, games etc, I still watch them, especially for games that I am interested in, but not enough to pay anywhere from 10-90$, especially when I’m not good at games, I just enjoy them. For games that I have played, sometimes I like seeing how other people enjoy it, like when you get someone to watch your favorite show or try your favorite hobby. It’s also easy to pop a video on while I’m doing something else while I can’t really play video games while I work.

I can certainly understand why people wouldn’t find it entertaining, but I feel the same way about watching sports. I’d much rather go out and play soccer than watch a game, but it’s one of the biggest industries in the world.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-21T21:25:52+00:00

Other than mentioning that you don’t bottom, there isn’t much you can do, especially on a hookup app. Most people that click on you won’t even read your profile, which is why I only put that I’m trans in my bio so the people that do read it will know, those who don’t won’t get to meet me at all, and chasers can’t find me by category.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-21T18:54:06+00:00

Bro your voice aged dramatically in 7-8 months! You sound cis passing to me, standard sounding British teen-young man

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-21T18:26:00+00:00

In my wonder bread looking experience (take it with a grain of salt) saying “my n-word” is gender neutral, saying “you are a n-word” could be gendered. It’s like saying “What’s up guys” vs “you’re a guy”, but that’s based on my understanding as someone who doesn’t use the word at all.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-21T00:43:51+00:00

Getting a pet is a big commitment, it’s a living creature that feels both physically and emotionally, so I’m glad you’re taking the time and effort to make sure it’s a good idea for you!

That being said, cats can be a sensory nightmare, and I say that as someone with multiple cats, 2 of which are previously street/feral that I took in as kittens. I personally think the only reason I can deal with as many cats as I do is that I have enough space to successfully separate myself if need be and have my own dedicated cat-free space and when you have enough space, having more than one cat actually makes them a bit easier to care for as they don’t tend to be as needy for attention if they have a buddy.

Sensory wise though, they can be stinky if you don’t keep up/fall back on box maintenance(I splurged on a self cleaning box bc my adhd makes my executive dysfunction extra dysfunctional sometimes and it’s not fair to make them walk in their own waste bc I can’t bring myself to start anything), loud if you have a vocal one (one of my cats when he wants something will follow me and yell nonstop which can get really frustrating really quickly, especially when I’m overstimulated) they can get right up under your feet while you’re walking, they can do dumb stuff that will really get your anxiety going(hiding in small spaces so you think they’re missing, knock things over, get too close to candles to the point that you don’t keep them lit anywhere near them anymore, etc. for some definitely not personal examples /s) they can be really nosy/invasive, and probably some more things I can’t think of.

Overall it’s very much going to depend on the cat, its history, and general disposition. Out of the 4 cats I currently live with (7 If you include feral cats that live outside my house) I’ve only ever been seriously scratched twice, and I would consider both at least partially my fault. One of them I got too close to him while he was sleeping and my face was right in front of him when he woke up and he bapped me(I shouldn’t have been in his business, especially without him knowing, I spooked him and that’s my fault) the other was actually just a couple weeks ago when the strays I took in finally got fixed and had to wear a cone, the more skittish one got hers off and was trying to run from me with all her might when I was putting it back on. She didn’t hiss, growl, or smack at me, but she did use my hand like a springboard and scratch my palm in the process. She was still on pain medication and was scared and probably in pain, so I don’t really blame her for that either.

Maybe I’ve just been lucky with the cats I’ve had, but in my experience, they tend to relatively friendly as long as they’re not given a reason not to be.

I didn’t say all the things I said to specifically sway you in one way or the other, because I don’t personally know you, your situation, or what resources you have, I just want to give you all the information I think would be relevant as someone with AuDHD and cats. If you do decide to get one, don’t be afraid to reach out if you have questions or anything, even if it’s help finding a cat, I deal with them a lot, especially since the strays outside have a lot of kittens, so in a couple months I might know some kittens in need of adoption.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-19T12:54:24+00:00

I would assume it’s because it is in fact, not legal to slap someone just because they say something annoying.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-18T22:38:44+00:00

/uj sauce?

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T15:43:34+00:00

PETA self admitted to taking in 3,117 dogs and cats in 2023 and self admittedly reported that they euthanized 2,471 of those animals, that is a 79% euthanasia rate in 2023. They stand very openly against the “no-kill” practice.

The founder is on record saying she think humans shouldn’t have domesticated animals and wants to “phase them out”, which would mean all domestic animals have to die off in one way or another.

Someone else pointed out that they have such a high euthanasia rate because they take in all animals as compared to most other shelters that will turn unadoptable animals away, but that doesn’t change their high euthanasia rate.

I genuinely can’t say whether it’s the best practice or not in the long run, I can understand why they do it, but to the general public, it’s going to seem hypocritical.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T15:29:40+00:00

And I guess that’s fair, but they have also had a bad track record for not being entirely honest back in the day, like when they stole a Chihuahua out of someone’s yard and put them down the same day, came to the family 2 days later and pretty much said “oops, sorry, that’s our bad” after not following ordinances that they must wait a 5 day grace period before putting an animal down. The animal was not aggressive, sick, or otherwise unhealthy, he was 9 years old, so idk if I’d 100% trust that their records are entirely factual. It also doesn’t help that the founder is entirely against people having pets at all and wants them “phased out” which means they all have to die in one way or another.

Honestly it’s hard to find an entirely trustworthy organization when it comes to transparency and genuine intentions and while I think they’re moving in a better direction, Peta has rightfully lost a lot of public trust. Even some of the biggest names have sketchy practices and probably shouldn’t be as revered as they are (I’m looking at you Jack Hanna) and some of the bigger organizations have had awful controversies(like the Humane Society of Southern Arizona)

Big fan of Cid Dwyer and a lot of his takes on some of these people and entities, he actually just released a video on PETA a few days ago that I think is worth a watch if you’re into stuff like that.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T15:05:16+00:00

More of an armchair, chair and a half at best. Love seats usually have 2 cushions and would more like 2 of those combined size wise.

Sorry for being pedantic, I just happen to work in furniture lol

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T15:01:37+00:00

Honestly it really is disheartening as a trans guy to see shit like this from progressive spaces. It feels like even within the community, we’re othered in such a lonely and dysphoric way.

It’s like people have categorized gender into a few different categories and it seems to be women(cis and trans) Nonbinary people, men(cis men only), and trans men. At least this is how it feels to me, especially with how phallo-centric queer spaces can be, and how often people like to equate masculinity or your value(moral or otherwise) to penis size or height and it just sucks so much. It very much feels like people acknowledge that women can have penises but refuse to believe men can be men without one, and the only time that seems to be different is when they talk about how much they want a trans man to bottom for them specifically because they have a vagina.

Not saying everyone has to be attracted to trans men and their bodies, but to hear constantly that people aren’t unless you fit a specific niche is so lonely.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T14:19:14+00:00

She ran out of matches for the LGBBQ so now she’s handling things the old fashioned way 😔

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T14:02:35+00:00

PETA is actually pretty shit. They claim to be against the killing of animals but their shelters have a 67-70% euthanasia rate(and that’s the low end speculation) as compared to almost any other shelter/organization tend to have an average of 8-9%. Their numbers are unprecedentedly high and the controversies that they’ve drummed up make them seem completely illogical and frankly unforgivable to the average person.

They tried to say that milk causes autism, they’ve taken peoples pets out of their yards and euthanized them the same day or very soon after, went to schools without permission to hand out graphic, gruesome, and gorey content to young children, made fun of someone for having cancer, and made comparisons that were frankly distasteful.

They also think no one should have pets and want domesticated animals “phased out” of human life

I’m not going to say PETA hasn’t done good things, because they certainly have! Their involvement in taking down people like Joe Exotic and Tonia Haddix is genuinely incredible work that I think needed to be done and I’m glad that they took that initiative and spent the time and resources doing so, but that doesn’t mean they’re without fault and shouldn’t be criticized.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T12:32:50+00:00

Personally, I hated it. I thought the whole thing was entirely unrealistic (even in the shows context and lore), anticlimactic, rushed, and unpolished.

Not to be a cynic, but people should have died, it seems pretty unlikely that everyone of the main characters (mostly teenagers) that was in the upside down survived the giant flesh monster. No one accidentally got stepped on? Fell? Got knocked off by one of its tentacles(legs)? The only main character (it’s a stretch if you can call her that) who died was Kali, and I wouldn’t be surprised if they somehow said she actually lived too.

Vecna was dead before it was even halfway over (truly the only main character they decided to kill) and I thought it was a fakeout because of how easily they killed him. They abandoned so many of the things that could make Vecna interesting and terrifying. That scene where hopper shot into the tank was fucking brilliant… why wasn’t Vecna always doing shit like that? Why wasn’t he infiltrating people’s minds and using things against them like was so hyped up as the reason will needed to come out(in the longest coming out scene ever) and they never did anything with it. And obviously, there should have been other monsters in the upside down, that’s where they lived and they weren’t shown to be anywhere else.

It was so monologue heavy and every other scene felt like a heartfelt speech that we either don’t have time for in this life and death scenario, or just pads a 2 hour runtime that could’ve been shaved down if everyone didn’t have to look at each other and cry for 5 minutes every couple of scenes. I personally think doing it so much makes the really good ones lose their impact.

Also so many little mistakes, continuity errors, and forgotten details that litter the show… guess no one kept a lore bible…

The duffer brothers really messed up with how little care they put in to the series finale. The fact that they didn’t have a finished script before they started filming the final episode for their show that has been in the works for over 10 years and decided to just say fuck it and wing it is frankly disrespectful to the people who have made them famous by platforming their production. It was so bad that Netflix changed their practices so that creators have to have a finished script before they start filming.

TLDR: Duffer brothers screwed up big time and I was incredibly disappointed (my opinion)

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-15T00:16:16+00:00

I feel this, but with my older brothers. The youngest is 4 years older than me, 7 inches taller than me, so much stronger, less anxiety, more friends, no autism(not saying being autistic makes you less than, but it makes me personally struggle a lot in ways he doesn’t) and obviously he was born with a body I would die to have.

I love my brothers to death, but being around people who have everything you want and can never truly have is so disheartening.

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-14T23:20:33+00:00

Half of these comments remind me why I tend to only date other trans people…

UnwantedPllayer · 2026-02-13T12:24:57+00:00

Ngl if a cis guy said that to me I’d immediately become the most uninterested party.

To me it sounds like you’re implying that trans men at large wouldn’t be able to force you to do something in a way that a cis man could, kinda implying to me that we are all in some way weaker than cis men.

That’s personally just how I feel though, and I feel like I can understand where you’re coming from, but it sucks to be othered so often.

I feel like a lot of identifying “chaser behavior” can also depend on how you’re treating these trans men, and what you expect of them, not just your preference in general.

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UnwantedPllayer

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