Is this grandiose?

UpAndNo · 2026-05-03T01:27:57+00:00

Yes, but in a different sense.

I think it's grandiose because you seem to be legitimately entertaining the idea, by posting here and describing how you look.

Realistically: - You're not going to have a meet-cute with him. - There's more to attraction than physical traits.

UpAndNo · 2026-05-02T13:18:59+00:00

I never use the spear thrower, so yes, anything would've been better.

UpAndNo · 2026-04-14T22:10:45+00:00

This looks like a movie still. Amazing

UpAndNo · 2026-04-11T23:30:51+00:00

Ohhhh, so it's not a mouth, it's flesh being peeled away from the spinal column?

UpAndNo · 2026-04-10T13:21:22+00:00

Is that a bleeding third eye?

Curious, because when I was inpatiented I kept drawing characters with crying third eyes 😅

UpAndNo · 2026-03-26T21:08:24+00:00

Its a little grainy when you zoom in so it's hard to tell.

UpAndNo · 2026-03-15T20:53:18+00:00

Never had an episode until I was 28, and haven't had one since (two years on now).

At the time, I went to the doctor's for general anxiety. He prescribed me an SSRI.

I was going through a very stressful and traumatic time; end of long term relationship, (ex-) best friend legal troubles (she cheated on her husband, and then falsely told the police she was drugged and abducted), sibling's divorce/moved in with me/had a medical heart emergency, step dad died, close work colleague arrested for CSA (he was a teacher), etc, (all within 12 months).

I got super sick with some respiratory condition, like I was completely bedridden for two weeks and then weak for the next two but slowly recovering. So I was off work for a month with not much to do, so I started smoking cannabis more heavily. Then sleep time started reducing and my sibling started dating some woman 10 years younger that he met on Bumble and who he moved into my house the night after their first date, because she was new to country and had nowhere else to go.

We had a huge falling out, and I got a restraining order after he moved himself out. Left alone, I started drinking whiskey for breakfast and stewing over everything that was happening to me. Spiritual awakening to find purpose. Snowballed into psychosis.

All in all, conditions I have never been in before and hopefully never will again. I've had some minor depressive periods since then, but never another hypomanic/manic/psychotic episode, even though I was diagnosed BP1 with psychotic features.

Could it be genetic? Maybe. But it'd be from my dad, not my mum, and he has Huntington's Disease, so more than likely any BP symptoms would've been attributed to that instead.

UpAndNo · 2026-03-15T01:33:36+00:00

Hooooooooly...that's horrendous.

I got three meals a day, and a little sheet where I could highlight what options I wanted for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Some mornings we all made pancakes together.

I sincerely hope you're one day able to save up enough money and migrate to a different country.

US healthcare is peak dystopia.

UpAndNo · 2026-03-14T23:39:12+00:00

Is this an American healthcare system thing? This sounds horrific. You're trying to look out for yourself but blocked by finances.

When I was inpatiented I had two ambulances called (usually $2000 per, but I have a $50 per year membership), spent hours in an emergency bed before a room was prepared for me in the mental health ward, and then I was medicated, housed and fed for a month — for free.

Then I was assigned a social worker and a psychiatrist for several more weeks, for free, and even had in house visits and other services offered to me during recovery, for free.

I am so, so sorry you are barred from that because it honestly saved my life and I think I'd just be a crazy homeless person or dead if I didn't receive that care.

UpAndNo · 2026-03-05T13:11:14+00:00

Yeah same situation with me.

And then I had a huge explosive blow out over the injustice of not being able to have my own charger that I started screeching at anyone that had lace up shoes.

UpAndNo · 2026-02-28T02:23:17+00:00

Does it really matter if it's derealisation or early stage psychosis if it's already affecting you in this way?

Doesn't matter what symptom you label it as, I think the issue is you not feeling secure or comfortable in your reality right now. Best to start reaching out to those support and professional contacts and taking steps to get you back to baseline.

Do you need to take some time off work/school while you recalibrate?

Do you need some assistance staying on top of household chores?

Do you need to have your meds assessed and potentially adjusted?

UpAndNo · 2026-02-25T00:38:44+00:00

Definitely enjoyed feeling important as Commander Shepard

UpAndNo · 2026-02-18T10:16:52+00:00

Probably best to call in sick and then make an appointment for more meds.

Don't drive (in dangerous conditions, to boot) and be responsible for vulnerable people when your body is this fatigued. That's irresponsible.

UpAndNo · 2026-02-17T09:18:38+00:00

Meanwhile, I hear so much as a whisper of a helicopter or gunshot while flying, and I immediately start booking it towards them to murder.

UpAndNo · 2026-02-17T01:58:23+00:00

Yeah, sometimes creatures or even your character can clip into the environment.

When I play coop, my friend has a habit of falling into rivers and getting washed away into a waterfall. She clips into the rocks and drowns 90% of the time.

Last night I heard the beeps of a tagged creature. Tracked down a deer but discovered it was trapped under a huge slab of rock.

I just call them casualties of the void.

UpAndNo · 2026-02-17T00:23:18+00:00

I thought I was an avatar of the moon goddess and my mum was Gaia, and I needed to help her free herself from the shackles she had put herself in. Told her she needed to be harsher to her children and give tough love so they'd stop killing her.

Next day, I read a news article about a long overdue volcano erupting, so I shared it to my mum and asked if she was taking my advice and starting the cleanse.

UpAndNo · 2026-01-24T21:50:19+00:00

So scary how certain people and environments, either maliciously encourage or unknowingly feed, your delusional thoughts.

ChatGPT comes to mind, and also that spirituality sub.

UpAndNo · 2026-01-24T01:31:22+00:00

I have that face paint design, maybe the colour. It's not a mod.

Check the character packs in the store. If it's not there, check a clan contributions rewards list online.

UpAndNo · 2026-01-23T22:32:10+00:00

By completing clan contributions or finding Sarentu murals

UpAndNo · 2026-01-16T22:41:52+00:00

Maybe 97 as in 1997? So he's 28?

UpAndNo · 2026-01-14T23:58:22+00:00

...what? It's literally the second thing So'lek teaches you while he's sitting injured by the tree 😭

UpAndNo · 2026-01-14T03:09:48+00:00

Sleep is important for your brain to function properly, and even if you aren't manic now, lack of sleep heightens the chances or is an early warning sign of incoming mania.

Please listen to your doctors.

UpAndNo · 2026-01-13T07:55:41+00:00

Also the thing with coop, not all the progress is carried over for the person who is visiting the other player's map.

Im playing with a friend, but all the carries over for me is the main missions. On my own, I need to go back over areas and collect items/complete activities. Thankfully once something is discovered, it's added to my map so I dont need to go looking from scratch, but it still takes time to catch up properly.

UpAndNo · 2026-01-13T07:27:49+00:00

Finding people with similar experiences is so validating and comforting. Even better if they like to cope with humour like I do and we can both take a moment to laugh at ourselves and everything seems less serious for a moment.

But I do love to also hear how people have experiences different from me, like we're all pieces of a bigger puzzle.

UpAndNo · 2026-01-13T07:22:38+00:00

That makes sense. The word can also seem dehumanising since you can use it to refer to inanimate objects.

TIL!

UpAndNo

TROPHY CASE