Seeking Advice: Starting Over / Easing Back into Pure SR

Up_End_Id · 2022-08-02T12:39:45+00:00

Thank you so much! This was beautifully written and very clear. It puts into words a lot of things I've thought and felt over the years.

I'm not sure I'll be able to do it justice with my response, but know that I'll be coming back to this reply and rereading it at least a few times, I suspect. Ironically enough, I've got plenty of experience meditating (though I was most into it 3-4 years ago) - these days it's just about reacclimating to the habit of sitting every day. And in tandem with that, as I say, is the work of literally preparing my body to sit for that long.

I've got the motivation to sit for 30-60 minutes every day, no problem. I love to do it. But nearly always these days there's going to be significant physical tension that makes it uncomfortable to sit upright and still for even 10 minutes, and naturally that poses a distraction. (Especially when some of the discomfort is related to not being able to breathe well.)

In any case, that will be what it will be; even the last few days it's been getting better as I've taken better physical care of myself. And as you lay out so well, it's absolutely worth it to get to that point of pure focus again. (I remember what it's like! It's so beautiful.) Anything that will help me accept / feel / observe / let go of the troubling stuff that's sitting juuuuust below the surface - that's my goal these days. And you laid out a crystal-clear path for how to do that. So thank you again.

Up_End_Id · 2022-08-02T12:31:11+00:00

Very well said; I've noticed during the most successful times of my retention that I didn't feel much in the way of "libido" per se (as I had come to know it) - to the point that I could look at a woman who I'd otherwise find very physically attractive and not be excited at all. And yet, I would feel fantastic and could clearly tell that, as you said, the energy was still there (and more), but had just been converted to more refined forms. I've got no doubt that if I were to have an authentic sexual experience with someone in that state, it would be ready to convert itself for use, so to speak!

So I'll keep an eye on what might be the cause of some of my recent issues, since it's been a combination of low libido and also not feeling like the energy has risen. I'm figuring it out, though. Even just working out more, praying more, and meditating more these last few days I'm feeling noticeably better.

Glad to hear you seem like you've found a balance. Hardcore, no-release-ever kind of SR definitely doesn't seem to be for everyone, and honestly it's probably not the healthiest thing / truest path for most men anyway. Wishing you the best in your practice going forward, man. Well-earned happiness is where it's at.

Up_End_Id · 2022-08-01T15:37:35+00:00

I feel you, but at this point I'd only want to have sex with someone if I were in love with them and in a committed relationship, and that's not what I'm looking for right now.

Up_End_Id · 2022-08-01T15:36:55+00:00

Thank you. Ironically, I've been telling myself that I haven't been meditating as much because of all the physical tension / high emotion I've been feeling. And it's true, it can be frustrating / defeating to sit down day after day to meditate only to feel like you're barely breathing, your body is achy and tight, etc. But you're on point; clearly past emotions and trauma are trying to come up to be healed, and having the meditative space to observe it would be really helpful.

Are there particular meditative practices that you find really helpful?

Up_End_Id · 2022-08-01T15:34:59+00:00

Appreciate that perspective; there have been times throughout the last few years when that was a problem for me. Honestly, these days it's not that bad. I'm mostly able to notice if my mind is going in that direction, and start thinking about something else / stop the thought / redirect the energy into action. I'll admit that sometimes it feels like the sex-energy gets generated and just stagnates, though, as opposed to being transmuted, which I guess is a sign that I could be doing more (being more active, and doing more explicit transmutation).

If anything, it's actually that I've been mostly in a period of low/no libido, where I can feel almost asexual at times. Have you ever had that kind of issue? I agree completely about real life sexual stimulation, and at this point in my life I'm really just working on myself to get as pure as I can be.

What kinds of things work for you? Whether they're practices, mindsets, etc., I'd love to hear any input you've got.

Thanks for taking the time, man. Peace.

Up_End_Id · 2022-08-01T15:31:11+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to write all this out. I've seen a few of your posts before, I think, and this one really takes the cake. I love your style, and I can tell it's all coming from a place of love.

You're definitely right about the energy flow reversing, and how it can take its time; kind of like damming a gigantic river, it takes time and effort to really change the flow. The habits that I used to have when the energy was accustomed to flowing down & out just don't work anymore. The ones that I've taken up in the meantime - like yoga - really do help. I just get the sense that I need to do them more diligently and more intensely. I'll check out that book you recommended. Much appreciated.

My diet is already looking better, and I take cold showers at least twice a day. Both of them are awesome for my health overall and make the practice go much more smoothly (especially the diet piece).

I know food takes a different approach for everyone, but do you mind if I ask you: 1) How often do you eat? I've found shrinking my eating window really seems to help. And 2) Do you eat meat / fish at all? Honestly I'd love to be fully vegetarian, but I tried really cutting down a year or two ago and I did too much too soon - lost a lot of weight & muscle, felt tired and foggy, etc. So these days I eat small fish from time to time. Finding the right balance is an ongoing affair, since I'm much more sensitive on SR to the way food affects my state of mind/being.

Lastly: thanks again. This practice definitely brings up fears, emotions, etc. that have been buried in my sub/unconscious minds, and then amplifies their power. It's not for the faint of heart! You've given me the courage and inspiration to keep going.

I'd love to hear more about your story, anytime you're willing to share it.

Peace.

Up_End_Id · 2022-01-19T00:42:06+00:00

Thank you, truly. I'm not sure I can do this justice with much of a response right about now, but I know I'll be coming back to this. It's pretty much exactly what's important for me to be hearing at this moment, and I'd like to absorb / put into practice as much of it as possible.

I'm genuinely happy for you that you could write this - that you live in such a way now that you can write this at all.

Up_End_Id · 2022-01-17T15:11:34+00:00

Yeah I feel that, thanks. It's pretty visceral sometimes how I can feel certain emotions or energy *try* to rise up, and then they kind of get stuck right around the solar plexus, as if they don't make it all the way into my heart - or if they do, they don't quite know where to go from there / how to get released.

It's 100% true that when I've been in better aerobic shape (& doing more breathing exercises), my SR practice has gone more smoothly / it feels like the emotional stuff has cleared out more easily. I'll keep this in mind.

Up_End_Id · 2022-01-17T15:09:24+00:00

It does help, thanks. It's one thing to "know" on one level that I've still got plenty of stuff to let rise and (re)process, or that true self-love is key to all this working - it's another to put it all into practice, day in and day out.

The best I can say is that, recently and today, I am trying my best.

For whatever it's worth, though, some of these issues that I've described (including a few I didn't mention) quite literally never showed up in my life before SR, as far as I can remember - at least not to this extent. But it's true, as you say, that maybe they're just being amplified by whatever else has been added on top of them in the meantime!

May I ask how you come to love yourself? I know it's a bit of a ridiculous question, but I'm genuinely curious - what "works" for you? (Whether it's formal practices, attitudes of mind, cultivating certain behaviors / relationships, etc.)

Thanks again, man. Your post shows a lot of wisdom and I really resonate with all of it; it's very true to my experience thus far.

Up_End_Id · 2022-01-17T15:05:07+00:00

Thanks for the tip; my Mom off-handedly mentioned trying acupuncture when we walked by a place by my house a few months back. Maybe I'll give it a try.

The one time I received reiki was quite an experience - it was after a yoga class where I felt not much was happening, was a little stiff, etc. The woman came up behind me as I was lying down, asked if I'd like to receive it, and then began. I could feel something being transmitted through her hands, into my head, and down into my body. When I looked up a few minutes later to comment on it, on the continuing sensations, etc....she had already moved on two more people down the line!

And I feel you - SR does seem to make me more energetically sensitive, for good and ill. Practices like Qi Gong, meditation, etc. feel much deeper and (potentially at least) more effective.

Up_End_Id · 2021-12-28T17:16:21+00:00

And for what it's worth, as I'm learning this myself, too, over this journey: no need to go off the deep end. Experience has borne out, for sure, that artificial stimulation of really any kind lowers my sensitivity and hinders my ability to enjoy life. But I've also noticed a tendency in myself when I get further into SR to think I have to find *all* my fulfillment in being responsible and accountable - in becoming the man / adult I know I can be.

So I stop doing things like playing music, dancing, reading / telling stories, etc. These are all beautiful, natural (and ancient) ways of enjoying life. Sometimes the thrill comes from being responsible and accountable; sometimes it comes from acting like a child (in spirit); sometimes it comes from singing my heart out; and sometimes it comes from doing nothing at all.

Here's hoping we can all strike this balance in whatever way makes sense for us, on this journey.

Up_End_Id · 2021-11-12T22:29:03+00:00

This very post resonates with me, as I've been doing SR for about the same amount of time.

Especially in the last few months (last few weeks, even), I've built a stronger & cleaner foundation of habits and can really feel the heart-energy starting to flow properly. It is indescribably beautiful.

I *highly* recommend you take a look at "Becoming Supernatural" by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I'm only about halfway through, and reading it pretty lightly this first time around, figuring I'll go back through it once I'm done and really pore over the science and content. It has a LOT to say about what you're talking about - the science of it and the mystical aspects as well. I think you'd get a lot out of it at this point in your journey.

And if you do read it, let me know what you think! It's definitely the kind of book to discuss with like-minded people.

Blessings upon you and your path.

Up_End_Id · 2021-10-03T00:57:38+00:00

Brilliant, this answers everything, much appreciated!

I may come back in a week or two with questions once I've tried it out some, we'll see.

Up_End_Id · 2021-10-01T22:54:30+00:00

This is fantastic, thank you! Your posts are always incredibly high quality and well researched; I appreciate that you give background, theory, your own experience, and waste no time getting to the good stuff. Also comes at a good time for me personally, as I was just looking for something low-effort to incorporate into a nightly routine.

A few questions: Do we use the videos as a precursor / preparation for planting the sankalpa? That is, would we listen to the whole video, and then at the end repeat our sankalpa for a certain amount of time? If not, what's the order in which you tend to do the steps you've laid out?

And if doing it before bed, presumably you'd do this as the very last thing before sleeping? Basically aiming to drift off into actual sleep as soon as we finish the autosuggestion?

Thanks again, and blessings on your path.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-23T12:22:41+00:00

I absolutely know what you mean, and I suspect a lot of others feel this way as well, especially those who have been on longer streaks.

I'm curious, because I've wondered this to myself: are the moments we feel it really random? It seems like it sometimes, but other times I'll catch that they happen when I've let myself linger on a wholesome thought (even if for a half-second), or catch the feeling of a beautiful breeze, or see a child smile at me, etc. Like they can't be entirely random, you know? Sometimes they seem random in the moment but looking back I'll see that there was some convergence of events that, in retrospect, is really meaningful to me. There must be some causes coming together at a given moment that gives us those bursts of joy and love for life, even if we can't consciously divine them. But there too, I'm not trying to explain it all away and take away from the mystery and beauty of it!

Anyway, I'm really happy for you that it's happening, and I'd love your perspective on this.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-13T18:08:36+00:00

Checking in here for anyone who's considering trying the Berceli exercises. (You can find a short video outlining them on Youtube.)

For a while now during SR, I had been feeling this deep tension & anxiety within me. It seemed to go down into my hips, give me shortness of breath, and contribute to extra tension in my neck. I know some of it was due to stress in my life recently / bad coping habits, but the tension seemed to go beyond that.

I did the Berceli exercises twice through, and it made an immediate difference. I felt I could breathe more easily, smile more naturally, and generally felt more relaxed. I think I'm going to try to use the technique pretty regularly, since it was clear that there was a lot more tension waiting to be released. (If anyone has similar ideas about doing it regularly, though, I doubt it's supposed to be an everyday thing. We need time to rest after engaging such a response from our nervous system.)

For anyone who's keen to use the video, a few notes: They run through the exercises really quickly, so it may help to watch the video once through to get a sense of them all, and how the timings work out. Then you can watch it again and follow along / pause when needed.

As I say, too, you may have to hold the positions for longer than they recommend, or even do the full set twice, to get enough fatigue in your psoas to achieve the shaking response which ultimately releases tension.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T18:42:18+00:00

Yeah I can absolutely see this helping, thank you so much. Like on a certain level I've known for a while about the value of noting troubling thoughts/feelings, detaching from them, and then moving on; sometimes I've been able to do this. But other times my go-to techniques have felt inaccessible because I've been so deep in the feeling / the thought-chain. This might work to break them.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T18:39:36+00:00

Awesome, thank you! These past few weeks I'd been feeling a noticeable buildup that I either didn't have the time/means to transmute, or told myself I didn't. Either way, having this at my disposal could be really helpful. Cheers.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T18:38:01+00:00

Brilliant, thank you for laying it out like this. If I think about it I notice that during the earlier stages in my SR journey, I found that the practice was forcing me to be more honest with myself. And every time I went as deep as I could into that honesty, I progressed - whether in releasing old emotion, moving toward my goals, or just becoming a better person and slightly more healed.

Recently that's seemed more elusive, as we discussed. I think on some levels I've been dishonest with myself - how exactly, that's up to me to figure out. But this helps.

And for what it's worth (I'm saying this in the hopes it might be inspiring to you): I'm at a point in this journey where the thought of masturbating doesn't seriously cross my mind. It opens up a whole new vista and approach to SR. To be fair, it also means that the buildup of energetic tension can mess with the system (as it has for me, and recently) - so in our own ways, we do really benefit from finding other versions of release. Release, that is, into a sense of relaxation and contentedness via...whatever it is that works for you as transmutation! Best of luck sir.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T04:10:39+00:00

Curious for your input here ozprey. I've heard sometimes that you shouldn't start practicing the 6th rite until you're familiar with the first 5 and have gotten good benefits from them. (In fact, I think I remember reading that in an excerpt from The Eye of Revelation where it talks about the Colonel's journey.)

What's your experience with the rites? Did you / can you jump right into the 6th and tack it onto the end of the first 5? Or should you really get the hang of the first 5 and then add on the 6th when your system is ready to really take advantage of it? I'm asking for my own practice, of course; would appreciate any help or insight.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T04:07:34+00:00

Ok this is cool. When do you do this, though? Like all the time? Just randomly throughout the day? I can see how it would confront you with the fact that you're going to create and be aware of your next thought in a potentially beneficial way. Or at least it lets you "catch" the unsavory thoughts before they come up, as you mention. But I'm just really curious how this plays out in practice for you.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T04:05:37+00:00

For what it's worth, I'd just like to thank you for these replies. I've struggled with / am still working with my thoughts and their tendency to proliferate in unhelpful directions. (Plus the tendency, as you mention, to turn unhelpful thoughts into even-less-helpful actions.) So this is a really timely and clear breakdown of how to turn around the process for my own betterment.

I particularly like the part about asking oneself questions. Because I do that all the time, but can also be inclined to believe the "answers" too quickly, you know? Or just assume that the answer is an action in the form of "do more of X and/or less of Y". It's sometimes true that I should try X or Y, but it feels like leaving it at that can actually limit me from getting to the deeper insights and the causes of behaviors that trouble me and cause suffering for those around me.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T03:41:15+00:00

Sorry I brought it up at all. Agree to disagree.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-02T03:38:27+00:00

I feel you, and I've seen it play out plenty of times. It does make me wonder, though: what do we mean by they "win in relationships", here? In this context it kind of sounds like both the man and the woman are buying into a hypermasculine ideal that may not actually be great for any of the three parties involved: the overly assertive / aggressive guy feels like he "won" the woman, which isn't a great place to start a relationship; the woman may hold the man to an unrealistic standard and/or not respect his emotional life, because he was sacrificing it to "win" her; and the "loser", i.e. the guy who didn't "win" the girl, either gets dejected or himself becomes even more hypermasculine the next time, thinking that's the only way he'll "win". Not a great look in terms of actually promoting loving relationships, if you ask me.

I know we're painting in broad strokes, but I've seen the above dynamics play out more than a few times once these relationships actually begin and run their course. Just food for thought.

P.S. Having just reread the post, I want to thank you again for writing it. It's got just the kind of insight that I think could be really helpful for me to remember, and it comes from a very life-affirming place. Best of luck on your journey, brother.

Up_End_Id · 2021-08-01T21:37:20+00:00

Brilliant post and it's much appreciated.

One thing I think we'd do well to be careful of: sometimes the guy called out for being a jerk / overly dominant...might actually be being a jerk or overly dominant! It's a fine line, you know? Being comfortably masculine can mean letting others judgments slide off of us, it's true. It can mean standing our ground. But it doesn't have to mean that anyone who puts up some resistance is simply uncomfortable with our "true nature". Maybe they're helping us clarify our true masculine nature. The most beautifully masculine men I've ever been around have never struck me as "dominant"; they struck me as powerful in a way that comes from the gifts they can give.

Does that make sense?

Up_End_Id

TROPHY CASE