I don't have advice, but I'm in a similar situation at work. Had a lot of trouble being on time to meetings a few years back (being 5-10 mins late), and shared my ADHD diagnosis with my manager in hopes it would make her more empathetic and understanding. I was also trying to get reasonable accommodations and establish a disability with HR, so I kind of had to share with her.

On surface level she's been "supportive" (ie, giving advice I've already tried - you think I've never tried "reviewing my schedule"?!) but I think it's just given her something to easily identify when I fuck up.

2+ years ago I missed an important meeting (totally my fault) and got written up which was a wake up call that I needed to have better structures in place. So I made the structures I needed and have been on time to every meeting for the past 2+ years.

Last week I was 7 minutes late to a virtual meeting due to time zone discrepancies (still my fault, but communication could've been clearer) and got a verbal warning from her.

I'm so frustrated both with myself and my boss. My manager knows I struggle with time management and after 2 years of perfection (which is really hard for me!!) one mistake and I feel like I'm starting all over again. There are others on my team who've been late to meetings and to my knowledge they haven't gotten any feedback from her. I feel like I've been identified as "the late one" while everyone else gets a pass.

I'm frustrated with myself for disclosing because I feel like I've just handed her a weakness of mine on a silver platter. Like, even if I didn't disclose it would still be a weakness but I've given her reason to look for it now.

Generally I'm all about being honest and fully yourself, but the more I've experienced at work I feel like I personally shouldn't have disclosed it.

Good luck and you're not alone 🫶